i have a mean family?

Question

i am 30 and pregnant my aunt told me that i am too old to have my first child and to consider an abortion but my husband and i want kids and my other aunt said that she didn't like the baby names i picked out then my cousin said that i am stupid for wanting a baby and my sister in law said that my husband is too immature to have a baby but he is a year older than me and not immature what would you do ? this really bothers me i just want them to be happy for me not mean

Answer 1

That is a terrible thing to tell anyone, especially a family member. Baby names is your choice, between you and your husband and nobody has the right to interfere. Unfortunately, mean people usually remain that way. As long as you and your husband love each other, want a child thats really all that matters. If they are not happy for you, well thats their loss. Eventually after the baby is born...babies have a way to bring people together. But, their comments will never stop because thats just the way they are. Find a way to ignore them, not let it bother you and just be happy and do what makes you happy...the hell with the rest. It is your life not theirs.

Answer 2

IGNORE THEM- and that may be hard because you seem like a kind, thoughtful person and they definitely come from the ruthless- rip them apart with your teeth type of breed-- IT IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS ALSO- this is between you and your husband, and if the both of YOU are happy, that IS ALL THAT MATTERS. Yes, it would be wonderful if everyone on each side of the family could be ecstatic like you and your husband are, but that would be in a PERFECT WORLD or on a rerun of leave it to beaver or some other make believe life comedy on TV. Jealousy has a mean ugly head and you have just witnessed the dark side of it-----pay it no attention and go about your lovely pregnancy without their needing to know another thing about you and your husband. When people cannot wish you WELL, then they should not be given the second chance so they can wish you UN well again---you don't need it so be rid of their negative thoughts and dwell only on the positive and surround yourself with people that are only supportive and loving--- this is what you need to keep you stress free and guarantee a safe and healthy and happy baby>>>> best wishes to both of yo....you sound like great parents already............

Answer 3

HI! Congratulations to you and your hubby! :o)

This baby is YOUR child, and YOUR HUBBIES child. The name that the two of you choose is absolutely up to you and your husband.( Unless of course, you practice a religion that involves family names only for the child )

The age of 30 is a very normal age to begin a family!
Maturity is not based on age, it is based on positive mental and physical attitude displayed towards the world. A truly mature adult doesnt go around insulting ones maturity levels!

SHHH! Try not to share your thoughts on baby names with your family. That way, they can not comment and hurt your feelings. When they ask you what names you have picked out, just say you are undecided, or you may wait until the baby is born until naming will take place.
( I named my secound son the moment I laid eyes upon him. Prior to his birth, I did not choose any names, I waited to see him, and gave him the name I felt was perfect for him! )

The last thing you need is stress. Your tiny baby needs you to be happy and healthy, and stress is not healthy! Being the mother of 4 children, I can honestly suggest that refraining from negativity and stress right now, is the best for you and Baby. I am not saying ignore these people completly, I am only suggesting limiting the information about baby names, the topic of begining a family, abortion....Any subject that causes you hurt feelings, tension, stress of any kind. When a person brings up the topic, and you know its not going to be positive, divert the conversation.

OR, speak up, tell them how you feel. Say, " When I tell you baby names I like, and you say that you dont like them, I really feel_________" OR " When you say I am too old, I have to dissagree with that. Please just respect our descion to start a family."

I hope I helped you, even it was only a tiny bit. We have 4 children and I can relate to you. Some people can really be very opinionated in such rude hurtful ways. Sometimes, however, the rude person is not aware they are rude, or do not feel that they were rude. It can be very frustrating!

Keep healthy, for you and your Baby! Its is your life:complete with Mommy, Daddy and Baby on the way, and no body needs to interfere or take over.

:o)

Answer 4

first of all congrats.

being a mother is the bigest gift of god a lady could have. yor are happy and your husband are happy dont bother about others. honestly speeking there are very few people who would be happy on your happiness.different mouths will say different stuff.
my sister you are pregnant at 30 well its normal some get even they are 40.

and dont you worry about the names.all the manes are beautiful. you and your husband can sit and decide the best of all.dont bother about others even of your sister.

once your baby steps on the eath.automatically everyones mouth would be shut. dont ever think of abortion .its the biggest sin.

hope every thing turns better when your baby is born.
best of luck.
congrats once again.

Answer 5

Well I urge you to be yourself and life goes on. Do not pay attention to any relatives These people do not have a life. I am so glad you and your husband want children. The family are not pregnant with you. You just go on with your business and do not please a crowd. I had my third baby when I was 38 and everyone were happy with my decision. You need to be away from them for a while and Believe me when the baby is born then these people Will drop dead and fly to your home taking care the baby left and right.

Answer 6

Your aunt must need to learn something, 30 is still a very good age to have kids, your other aunt has the right to her own opinion, but this is your baby and you have the right to choose any name you like, as for your sis in law, she has an opinion too, but if your husband is mature or immature, it only concerns to your marriage. Just stop paying so much attention to those opinions and listen to your own, and live your life as you like it.

Answer 7

They are horrible people. Do not listen to people who always have sh*t coming out of their mouths.
My mother once told me that you have to love your family, but you don't have to like them.
Your options are...
1. Be nice and then do whatever you want.
2. Tell them that you decide things in your life and they should be supportive, not rude and disrespectful of you.
Maybe #2 answer will wake them up, if they really care about you. If it doesn't, then they are garbage and should be ignored.
I am answering this letter because my wife and I had the same thing happen to us.
My wife and I planned on having a child. One of her sisters started telling her all kinds of crap. You're too old. You're husband's no good because he's just a teacher, not a doctor like mine. (Of course he beats her and have sex with his nurses.) She was heartbroken and cried a lot. I finally convinced her that she knows nothing and is just shooting off her mouth.
We finally had a baby boy when my wife was 37. He is REALLY cute and very smart. He is 3 years old now and can already speak three languages fluently. (We live in a country that speaks three separate languages.)

Answer 8

Your family is just trying to take back control and ignore the fact that you are an adult. I would put money on it that the people who give you the most grief are probably the ones who are most unhappy with their own lives. The only way there is a chance they will treat you with respect is if you stand up for yourself. Simply say it is none of their business, and unless they want to be called "evil aunt [Clara]" they'll start to show a little affection for the baby that is about to enter the family... CONGRATULATIONS on the baby!

Answer 9

God has blessed you with a wonderful gift.Have your baby .You and your Husband be strong and make your family work.People get jealous and they are trying to make your life h . Be strong ,Think positive.Look on the bright side you don't have that long to be bothered,When the baby come you two will have much happiness. Good Luck

Answer 10

Tell your aunt to go screw herself. Seriously! That's an awful thing to tell someone and you're not too old to have children. The next time any family member says something like this to you, tell them to keep their ignorant opinions to themselves. You might also want to just stay away from them period. They're toxic. You can't pick your family but you can choose to stay away from them for your own wellbeing. Do yourself, your baby & hubby a huge favor and get away from all of them. Good luck and congrats on the baby!