Now my mom doesn't want to ever talk to my mom-in-law to be.. its very difficult.. Mom in law is willing to talk it out with my mom , but my mother doesn't wanna talk..we're just letting it be for now..but all the same its stressful..my fiance is also willing to explain to my mother..Parallelly I'm tryin to give a lot of importance to my mother..so that she doesn't feel isolated and sidelined..
2007-01-22 18:28:04 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i dunno what to do.. what else to do and how to handle it?
2007-01-22 18:35:34 · update #1
I am so sorry that you have to deal with the idiotic and that is what it is, of th parents of the both of you--- this is YOUR DAY and not theirs, and being a future in-law in 4 months, I have already chosen the topics I will talk about when I meet her this Saturday and NOTHING MORE! Not by order of my daughter or future son in law, but for my piece of mind that I have not done anything to upset the happy couple or anger my daughter's future mother in law. Marriage is a very hard undertaking for anyone in this day and age, parents should not make it more trying....my best advise is to let it go....and I mean do not give it another moments of concern on either of your parts- hopefully your parents will grow up and reconcile on their own for whatever stupid commentary that may have been said.... it is not their wedding it is yours, and do not worry about their misunderstanding- if the happy day is soon approaching toe both of you talk to you dads and make it their job to keep both of your mothers in line after all, it isn't something that they HAVEN'T DONE A MILLION TIMES BEFORE!
Congratulations and best wishes on your marriage---don't sweat the small stuff- unless if some freak of nature you are dealing with the lady from "monster"in'law" the movie and if you haven't seen it, rent it, you will be crying with laughter-- enjoy this time together- it is hectic but in a really good once in a lifetime way.
Congratulations to you--- you both are wiser than both of your mothers put together, but don't tell them I said that I don't need any hate mail...............
2007-01-22 18:38:45 · answer #1 · answered by mac 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't ask a question but I assume you are asking how to work this out.
Bottom line this is YOUR wedding. I mean it ....it is YOUR wedding. Even your mothers don't have the right to ruin it.
Your man's mom needs to know that whether or not she is at peace with her future daughter's mother, the wedding will still be happening. And when all is said and done does ....when she dies how important will this be. She can be known as the mother in law from hell who ruiended the wedding or the gracefully mature mother who gave her son and his new wife a lovely wedding day.
Both mom's need to grow up. They need to put their differences aside because this is NOT their day. This is YOU and your Fiances day and don't let anyone destroy it!
Matter of fact don't let this negative energy at the wedding. Tell your parents that you will not be needing them at the wedding unless they can put their differences aside and be nice during the weddiing day. How they feel otherwise is between them.
And PLEASE don't let this be an ongoing family fued or this will destroy your marriage and your kids if you have any.
Gosh I am so sorry these adults are acting like spoiled children.
Remember this day belongs to you and your guy!
2007-01-22 18:42:09 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wedding is about you and your fiance, this is your day.... Both mother's need to behave as mothers and grow up and stop behaving like children. Since you don't know what has caused this friction between them and they are not willing to discuss and try to work it out then that is all you can do. The two mothers are being extremely inconsiderate towards you and your fiance, especially when your only a month away from your wedding... That alone is enough stress .....
2007-01-22 18:46:43 · answer #3 · answered by Excited Bride 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well do we know why Mom is upset?
MiL is willing to talk. Fiance is willing to talk. You're trying to be the go-between. But Mom won't talk.
Give Mom a couple of days to let her cool off. Then she needs to face whatever it is that's bothering her. She might be feeling a bit stupid over what has her panties in a bunch and doesn't want to be embarrassed over why she got upset in the first place.
Then again she may have a legit reason for getting upset.
Whatever it is, you need to tell her you don't want the best day of your life spoiled. You want this day to be a happy one, and that you would appreciate her getting this settled. I should think any mother worth her weight would do that for her daughter.
2007-01-22 19:02:42 · answer #4 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's no longer adverse to etiquette for a mom to stroll her infant down the aisle, surprisingly if both are very close and the mummy has been the dominant caregiver for that child. So that's no longer surprising. If that is your second marriage, you technically do not want to take delivery of away in any respect. that's compared to you lower back to the bosom of your spouse and youngsters unit and now they are providing you to the international lower back as a quickly-to-be-married woman. you're an man or woman with a grown infant - you may provide your self away in case you want! it would want to also be attractive on your son to provide you away. that is a gesture that shows a union no longer in user-friendly words between you and your fiance yet also your children and your fiance. i might want to easily tell your mom that you already know why she would want to stroll you down the aisle, yet that you actually want your son to do the pastime - that it would want to intend plenty on your spouse and youngsters if that is the way it went down. i assume you and your fiance are procuring issues yourselves besides, so no longer to be harsh yet your mom really has no say in how the marriage is executed.
2016-12-02 22:33:34 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound good at all. These two women need to grow up and not put you and your soon to be husband in the middle of it. Not a good start of a marriage. This could end up causing you and your husband to fight in the long run. And then if you have children. Better hope this is a one time thing. For your mom not wanting to talk about it makes it worse. The more she keeps it inside the more it going to boil inside of her. I feel sorry for you and your fiance. Good luck.....not really sure what the question is?
2007-01-22 18:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by darlingnicky772 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of times parents can be stubborn. I wrote the book on that. You should sit down and explain to her that you are her daughter and you NEED her to be there for you right now. This is a very stressful time in your life and if you can't rely on your mother who can you rely on. Tell her "you don't have to like her, just be cordial." And if you could get the mother-in-law to maybe apologize to your mother it might help. I'd hate to be in those shoes. Congratulations and Good Luck Love!
2007-01-22 18:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by peoplerstrange62 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We would need to know exactly what happend to upset your mom, but it sounds to me like your mom is an attention hog and control freak. (ask me how I know this!) If the closer to your wedding your mom seems to be more unreasonable, it's because she's (possibly subconciously) trying to get all the attention. Ask yourself if she's behaved this way in the past, even over little things. If she has, then she's just immature and neurotic and I hate to tell you this, but hold on! It will only get worse when you have kids. My advice, keep her at a distance. Enjoy your relationship, but don't let her in on any negative details in your life, especially fights with your hubby. Good luck.
2007-01-22 18:38:46 · answer #8 · answered by Rio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your mom that you understand that she is upset, but it is your wedding and it is hard to have a wedding when the inlaws won't talk, so would she please either settle it quickly or respect you enough to put up with your in law until after the wedding. Make sure you tell her that you love her and you think that whatever your mother in law said was out of line, and that you will help resolve the issue in any way you can.
2007-01-22 21:47:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, I completely understand where you are coming from
(my m-i-l told me a week before the wedding that if she could have picked anyone in the world to be her son's wife it wouldn't have been me, then showed up late and drunk to the ceremony and stumbled down the path we were to walk without any shoes)
I would have to say, ask both parents to be cordial, and don't be afraid to remind them that it is YOUR big day, so don't ruin it! Tell them if they have a problem being adults, they can stay home. That usually snaps them out of it. I guess this is a good test to see if your fiance will stand next to you through all this mess. It's too bad that you have to have ugliness before your wedding, GOOD LUCK and CONGRATULATIONS!
2007-01-22 18:36:10 · answer #10 · answered by Loren V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋