is this abusive?

Question

Ok my dad and I fight..a lot. He tells me he can, its his right too, but i have trouble believing that. He says there is no laaw against spanking your kids with a leather belt. And pushing them, he tells me that the only way to get me to listen is to make me scared of him. And also, after we fight, he'll come in my room when im still crying and be like "goodnight i love you" and it hurts me really bad, cause he acts like nothing happened just 5 minutes before. And when we do fight, he tells me im stupid, ima ***** and a whole bunch of other names. and he calls me fat..im 5'9 and 1/2" by the way and i weigh 117lbs. I just dont get if what he is doing is right, him and my mom have been doin this since i was 8 and they tell me to go ahead and call the cops on them, cause all they'll do is laugh at me. whats going on? what do i do? HELP ME!

Answer 1

Of course it's abusive, the fact that someone doesn't know how to be a good father is not an excuse to scare your kids to death, especially by spanking them, and making them feel bad about themselves. It's not just the fact that he's hurting you physically, he's hurting you mentally too.

You must seek help, wether it's close relatives or the police, and get some special counseling, because fear and low self esteem will drive you to anger and depression, and this will have terrible effects in your development and your adult life. Do something about it now.

Answer 2

Sounds like your parents have some issues. I don't think spanking is abuse but if you're a teenager, that's a bit inappropriate. If they're shoving you, yeah, that's abuse. Your dad is also verbally & emotionally abusing you by saying you're fat, etc. You don't have to call the cops on this one unless you really feel like your life is in danger or your dad punches or kicks you. What you can do is tell a trusted adult about what's going on and try to get out of your house. Try a teacher who you think will help or a friend's parent. If you can't find anyone like that, then you can go to the cops. Use the cops as your last resort though because it will cause alot of problems if your parents aren't doing anything wrong (not saying you're a liar but don't exaggerat anything). You aren't in the healthiest enviorment and it might be good for you to stay with someone else until your parents can learn that you're not their verbal and physical punching bag. Talk to an adult ASAP. Don't wait until you get into another fight, do it now! There's no point in talking to your parents about how this makes you feel because from the sound of it, they'll just laugh at you. Good luck and I hope you get out of this situation.

Answer 3

I'm sorry my dear. Parenting is not an easy job.Some people take the job very seriously, do a lot of reading and put themselvs into it like it's the most important job they will ever have and it is.
Your parents are probably just doing what they know to do. When
your Dad tells you that he loves you at night after you've had a fight, he probably means it. Nowbody is perfect. He thretens you
because he has'nt found a way to comunicate with you. In this case you may have to step and ask him to talk with you and tell him that you wish you could find a way to talk about the things that are troubling you and that you would like to have a better relationship with him. Try this and I'll bet you will see a big change in attitudes between you..You must also be honest with yourself and ask yourself what you are doing to promote this unhappy relationship. Are you coming off as beligerent in your confrontations? I know I may be asking you to be more mature than your parents in some respect but if you can put away your anger and ask them for some honest dialog to clear the air you will find that some understanding will improve and that concessions can be made on both sides to make your home a much happier place to be. Do you think it's worth a try?
If none of this helps, talk to a school counceler. They will take you very seriosly and maybe arange for some family counceling. Wouldn't be better to keep your family togather if these issues can be worked out?

Answer 4

Any way you have not us how old are you now?, You been treated this way by your parents since you were 8. In my opinion parents should not use abusive words or call idiotic names to their children, this will affect the child's emotion and stability in life. These children will be intimated easily. If the child has done something wrong, if he is below 12 years, spanking would be appropriate, if he is a teenager, discuss the problem with children, if is an adult after 21 or 18 be more specific why he is doing that if he knows that is wrong. May be pressures of life cause some children or adult to make stupid mistakes, which can be treatable or controlled. Your parents are mean, as they laugh at you, that means they are teasing you that you are in their control. I truly believe every child has his or her own rights in life even though they are still in the parents care, parents should respect the child's right by listening to them and vise versa.

Answer 5

Yes this is definatly abuse. I hope it's nothing more than belt spankings, but even if it's not, the words are very abusive. I don't know if you're old enough to be out on your own, but if you are, I suggest getting out. Get a place with some roommates so you can stay in school. You don't want to end up with a low pay job living paycheck to paycheck your whole life because you had to get out of your parents house early, but you need to get out. If you're not old enough, do you have other relatives you can stay with? Maybe friends parents? It's hard to make that step. If you really feel like you need the police involved, do it. They won't laugh at you. But be prepared for the possablility of being removed from the care of your parents. Good luck.

Answer 6

Yes! Talk with a trusted school counselor, the police, and anyone else you can. I gurantee the cops won't laugh at you. If you are lying about all of this you WILL be in trouble, but if all this is true, they are physical and mental abusers and you need to be removed from their home immediately by DCFS or a similar agency. Of course, you obviously have Internet access so they must be allowing you that much. Call the police now, but only if what you are telling us is all the truth. Be sure it is, and if so, call the police.

Answer 7

You need to seek help! I don't know how old you are, but noone has the right to physically hurt you. The name calling is bad enough. I would try and speak to a teacher you trust or a friend's parent. You must realize however, that you must be completly honest. What is causing the fights? It sounds like your father has some anger issues, and needs help. Good luck!

Answer 8

i understand Bible literalists won't like this, yet i think of the Bible in many situations reflects the time wherein it grow to be written. mom and dad, husbands, employers, slave owners have been in many situations brutal to their family members or workers. Beatings have been trouble-free, there grow to be no talk of baby or spouse abuse, no regulation fits against the employers, and so on. The Bible has many truths that don't exchange over the years, however the assumption of a Father who grow to be no longer punitive in 2000 BC or perhaps later probably does no longer make experience to the human beings who have been reading or listening to the instructions. I do have a topic with some issues and get aggravated at how one son over yet another grow to be given inheritances, issues weren't divided up. yet that reflects the subculture the place the Bible grow to be written as much as something.

Answer 9

Spanking is for much younger kids, but even then, it shouldn't be like whipping them and giving them a severe sort of beating. I mean, if they are beating you, that is definately abusive. They can probably be a little more reasonable with punishment, like grounding and things like that. If this continues (and it seems that it will), you may want to talk to someone in authority about it and get them to help. I'm sure if you bring the situation to them, they will definately help you. Stay strong and hang in there.

Answer 10

You Need to Report this to the police or somone at school..This Is ABUSE TO THE FULLEST..The police will not laugh at you..Them telling you that& calling you a whore is Mental Abuse & Your being Physically Abused also..If you dont do somthin your not going to be mentally right for the rest of your life..Take Care of Yourself

Oh & By the way..I WISH I WAS 117 lbs..I bet your Very Pretty
Keep Your Head Up