How long to wait once we decide to get married?

Question

I am in school and work full time and live on my own. I want atleast a year before we get married to take care of my bills, figure out vacations for work ( not eligible to receive vacation until 7 months from now), and have time to save money to get all the things we want for the wedding; however she wants it earlier (in 5 to 7 months) becuase she says she is tired of waiting and wants to be with me already. I just feel that if we wait we will be better prepaid financially and have alot more time to take care of little things and not rush in getting everything ready for the big day.

Update: She is living with her parents and has a very good job but nothing saved up for a wedding. She has bills also which I know will be a problem when we get married unless I atleast take care of my bills before we get married. She is is willing to wait till December, a change from August this year, but I still believe I need several more months. I was thinking Febuary 2008 or somewhere around there.

Answer 1

While you both are anxious to get married and begin your new life together, if you don't believe you are financially stable enough then wait. You both seem to love each other and there is no doubt that you will get married.

Getting married is a huge step financially, as well as emotionally. When you start your new life together you want everything to go as smoothly as possible. If you two are constantly worrying/stressing about your individual bills, can you imagine the add stress of running and financially supporting a household together.

Pay down your debt and save a little, then get married in a year or two from now.

Answer 2

The first question is are you engaged? The typical engagement lasts 6-12 months so you could get engaged if not already and that will get her excited for wedding planning. Some places (churches, reception halls, etc.) have a booking time of 6-12+ months in advance anyways so you two should sit down and pick a date 9-15 months away and that should give you just enough time to organize everything. She should plan on buying her wedding dress at least 6 months in advance and the bridal party should also order their dresses at least 6 months as well to ensure time for fittings. The more time you have to plan it -- the more likely you guys will be able to get what you want. At the same time if you have an off-season wedding (October - March) you will be less likely to run into planning issues (and you may save some $). My fiance were in a similar situation in that I wanted to get married in 2005 or 2006 and he was in no rush to get married so we compromised and are getting married this year. Good luck : )

Answer 3

We had kids right away but our careers were set. I couldn't take bc pills either so I used other things between kids and that kept me from getting pregnant again right away. You really should wait until you finish school, you won't regret it and it helps to have careers set. There's nothing like financial security when you have kids. You will regret one day that you didn't finish school, and that's tough to do with kids especially little ones. Having kids is tough and trying, especially on a budget. It puts a lot of stress on the marriage too. Go to the drug store and look for bc things, there are other things besides condoms that work well. Good luck. Thank you!!

Answer 4

Good for you. You are very mature and thinking beyond the wedding and to the marriage. To really enjoy the planning of the special day and have everything just the way you both want it takes about a year anyway. It certainly is nice if you can begin your marriage without the wedding debt hanging over you. Stay firm....but it sounds like she wants to be a summer bride. You might have to explain to her that if you wait a year you can have a better wedding and honeymoon. If you rush it, it will be smaller and without all the things she has dreamed of. By the way, does she live on her own, with her parents or with you now?

Answer 5

Your bride-to-be should know that you can't live simply on love, sounds nice, but then reality sets in. You are the smart one in this relationship, and that worries me. Is she financially stable, if not you are going to have trouble down the road, juggling a job and maintaining the finances and keeping her loved up. It is hard enough to do this when it is just you, but with two people and one acting like a spoiled child, I don't think so. If she can't appreciate what you are trying to do and the sacrifices you are already making, dude maybe a year is too short. Best of luck to YOU!

Answer 6

I think you are a very smart man and are thinking ahead.If you wait and do the things that Need to be done you will be saving yourself some unnecessary arguments that may come about if you don't have everything set up and planned for the wedding.Good Luck!

Answer 7

Im not getting married for 15 months and i CHOSE it that way.. for school purposes and becuase I want a long engagement...

Try to remind her that engagement is meant to be a fun, exciting time... hey its the only time in your life youll have left to look FORWARD to your wedding!! She'll have time to plan and not be rushed.

I understand how she feels... sometimes I just want to get it over with and be with him... but I think she'll calm down. Good luck and God Bless you two!

Answer 8

I would prefer to wait at least 12 months.
Did you say how you feel about this to her?
If she has the money, it will be okay. But if it's your money (we're talking financial matter because it's always about the money) then it's your decision and not hers.
She said she can't wait to be with you? Who's she with now?

Answer 9

You are thinking more logically and realistically and about your long term financial health. I think it's wise to go your way and wait the extra couple of months to ensure your security and stability. Just talk to her and explain the reasons you want to wait. Its only a few months more.

Answer 10

SHE SOUNDS A LITTLE PUSHY, BUT SHE NEEDS TO RESPECT YOUR DECISIONS.
ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE THAT WAIT...YOU NEED TO SET YOURSELF IN THIS RELATIONSHIP NOW,OR YOU WILL ALWAYS BE BIDING BY HER WISHES LATER,NO DISRESPECT MEANT TO EITHER YOU , OR HER. LIVE LONG,AND HAPPY..