How do you handle severe depression and living with someone who is critical of you and causes you even more...

Question

pain? I see a psychiatrist and counselor, but this person is causing me so much grief.

It's my mother-in-law.

Answer 1

Your problem is actually with your husband. If he allows this behavior from his mother, he is not your friend. In your vulnerable state, you must have a true friend, that will defend your interests and protect you through your low period. Let me define a friend for you:

If you call an aquaintance, and sob, "I've just shot my husband" they will call the cops and try to find you an attorney. A true friend will show up at your door with a body-bag and a shovel.

Get it? They may understand that you are a flawed human, but still love you and see your point of view. None of us can make it without such a person in our life. And you certainly don't have anyone around you now that qualifies.

I do wish you well.

Answer 2

Wow, that hits close to my home. I've struggled many years and I think one of my biggest stressors is the person with whom I live. He used to do me the same way, and he still tries. He criticizes everything I do and NEVER gives encouragement or compliments. I should have fled years ago. He is not abusive (except by talking), but he is very annoying. My advice to you is if you can make it on your own, get out of the situation and find yourself a pleasant lifestyle. I bet your depression will ease up a lot once that burden is off your back. You will still have problems, but your counselors should help you get through it. Sometimes it is hard to leave when you have no income and have children though and I stayed because of that. I would speak with the psychiatrist and counselor first before I made such a move as I am only a layman. God bless you. Keep your chin up because you are a worthy person.

Answer 3

So your counselor has surely told you to establish boundaries and all that jazz. Keep trying. I would just add that baby stepping in times of crises and rewarding yourself for your small successes can make your outlook feel a little brighter and more hopeful.

Work on a few small points that are really important and let go of the even smaller ones at least for now. If people can't respect even your most basic set of boundaries and you have to live with them, your task is difficult but not impossible.

Try giving in on one issue that is big to her and you both, and see if she doesn't give in on another issue that is vital to both of you. Perhaps some cooperation can be established. However, if you give up everything, you might feel even more depressed feeling as if you have given up your very essence.

Walking away is so much easier said than done, isn't it? But if you can establish a place to go, a different task to set your mind to when things are tight and you feel like you can't breather, then things will improve and you will have less severe episodes of depression.

If you can't get away physically, get away mentally. A book, a song, a shower with a song, closing your eyes and imagining is the very least of the mercies Allah has given us when there is nowhere to go and nothing to do about it. We have our glorious minds to take us to beautiful getaways.

May Allah grant you Peace, Mercy, and Blessings.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Kick His *** out!!! OR maybe u should think about it - r u taking things more critically BECAUSE you r depressed?

Answer 6

try to get out or talk to someone for support. i'm here [e-mail]. i have been there living with someone negative

Answer 7

it is time to move out...and your husband must be on your side..enlist your psychiatrist to convince him if necessary...

Answer 8

When you find out, let me know.....Not seeing a counselor though....oh well...

Answer 9

do you have to live with this person??

Answer 10

get a divorce that's what i did and i'm much better. no more meds, no more depression