Her brother is already a groomsmen and my Neice is a Jr Bridesmaid.
2007-01-22 14:36:12 · 19 answers · asked by AFGATOR 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
YOU make that choice...not her
2007-01-22 14:39:09 · answer #1 · answered by -------- 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
By having the Bride's cousin as a groomsman does it bump one of your close friends out of the lineup? Or is this just a matter that you don't want your attendants to be mostly her people? I think how you answer those two questions will set what you need to do.
If he would be bumping one of your close friends from the lineup, then I would say it is not acceptable. The attendants are there to serve as witnesses to your marriage and should be made up of the closest friends. If you have someone else you want standing by your side, then maybe you need to find somewhere else to put him in the wedding (if your having a Christian ceremony a reader would be an idea).
If you don't have someone, and it really is an issue that you don't want her overcrowding your side, then you need to be honest with your wife that is the reason why you would prefer to not have him there. But if he is an extremely close cousin, and it would cause distress on your Bride, then you need to suck it up and let him be there. No matter what, you need to talk this over with her.
2007-01-23 00:58:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel. It is your day too. I wanted a really good guy friend to be a groomsmen and my fiance refused it because he wanted his friends to be his groomsmen. So my friend is going to be an usher. Just tell her, if she loves you and respects your wishes she should understand. I have 2 little sisters and 2 little nephews, all around the same age. My fiance has 2 nieces and 1 nephew. I definitely wanted my sisters in the wedding as junior bridesmaids but I didn't want them to walk by themselves and we didn't know what to do. I definitely didn't want 3 sets of kids in the wedding either plus a flowergirl and ringbearer. So whenever he completely disagreed against my lifeling friend not being a groomsmen I told him that my nephews are going to be in the wedding and none of his nieces and nephews are. We're closer to my nephews anyway. We barely see his. So he agreed and now we're both happy. So maybe you can compromise. I also got him to agree to pink vests. lol! Good Luck!
2007-01-23 02:25:39 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While it is true that the groom is responsible for choosing the groomsmen, you also need to consider seriously how the two of you work out this disagreement. After all, the two of you will disagree about many other things in the future (some trivial, but some serious). What is more important here is coming to an agreement with your fiance how the two of you are going to deal with disagreements. One thing I try to remember is the adage to pick you battles. You do not want to "battle" over every disagreemtent. Decide for yourself if this is important enough of an issue to "battle" over.
2007-01-22 14:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and make him a groomsmen/ usher. They don't do much of anything except dress up like the other groomsmen/ushers and they walk women to their seat at the wedding. It is not a big deal to make him a groomsman and it will make her happy. Ask her if she really NEEDS him to be in the wedding? Is him being a guest enough? And if she demands it just go along with it, it isn't a big deal.
2007-01-22 14:47:57 · answer #5 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you should just let it go as she can choose who can be in it, You can also. Sometimes there will be some comprimises because you both have to please eachother in all this so...... just let it go and let him be in it. What harm will he do to you for being in it? Or has he done something so bad that you just dont want him in it. And if so then why would she bother having him in it? I am sure if it was some serious thing she wouldn't allow it. Act more like an adult and dont think so childish. I hope you guys can come to some understanding. Good luck
2007-01-22 15:30:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That's a hard one. My advice? Suck it up. Will it hurt anything to have him as a groomsman? As long as it is not excluding a friend of yours, I see no harm and it is probably the best thing for your marrage. Brides can get very uptight about weddings and it's best not to argue if you don't have to. I don't think it will really hurt anything as long as you are able to also have all of the groomsmen you have sellected as well.
2007-01-22 14:41:40 · answer #7 · answered by onucoqui2001 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My sister had this concern, however the ended up looking adequate groomsmen. What i don't understand is why you opt to nix your sisters from the marriage social gathering. Your sisters are your sisters continuously. acquaintances might properly be fickle and pass away your existence as quickly as they entered. in case you opt to start up trimming down the marriage social gathering it is the place i could start up... acquaintances no longer family contributors. although, the way my sister blanketed her now sisters-in-regulation into her wedding ceremony became to have them study some poetry. I had a pal who have been given married and he or she had one in all her acquaintances who wasn't interior the marriage social gathering study some Bible verses. If any of your friends (or sisters) are musically gifted they might sing or play an device. it is extremely all I even have.
2016-11-01 01:23:17 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is both of your wedding day and you should have who you want for your goomsmen and she should have who she wants for her bridesmaids. Nice that her brother can be in the wedding but I think it is pushing it to ask you to have her cousin also. Perhaps he can be an usher but not stand up with the bridal party during the ceremony.
2007-01-22 14:53:06 · answer #9 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your bride is especially close with her cousin, I think it is acceptable that he be one of her attendants - standing up on her side of the aisle. It is important that you are both able to have those closest to you in your wedding. A friend of mine had a very close male friend stand up for her in what would traditionally be the maid of honor spot. It's really most important that you are surrounded by those you love on your special day.
2007-01-22 14:50:09 · answer #10 · answered by GgMac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two can't collaborate and figure something out like adults when it comes to something so silly and unimportant, how on earth are you going to make tough decisions together?
Please seriously consider what you're getting into here. Premarital counseling can help you learn to communicate and work together on the little things as well as the big things.
2007-01-22 14:45:13 · answer #11 · answered by wnk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋