What should I do if a person calls me a "Douchebag?" for no apparent reason?

Question

I live in a dorm and another student who lives above me insults me for no reason. I would very much like to destroy him. what should i do.

Answer 1

This is what you do. Go buy an actual douche and a bag. Catch the guy off guard, like when he's drunk or tired. Make sure you have a sock with a bar of soap inside, preferably Ivory (for it's density), and make sure your with a few of your boys (for back up). Now, when you catch that fool slippin', beat the **** outta him with the soap, it doesn't leave any marks. Avoid the head, only to knock him out maybe. Take him inside the room, strip him down and tie him up to his bed. Proceed to anally rape him. Use the douche and the bag later in the shower to clean the sh!t off the tip of your penis! There ya go, sweet vengeance!!!

Answer 2

Just from what you wrote, he sounds like a knuckle-dragging oaf. Don't destroy him. Don't sink down to the slime pit level he seems to be wallowing in.

Have you ever asked him why he insults you? If he insults in you public with other people around you (and if they aren't his friends), then you could ask him, "Why do you seem to enjoy calling me a -----?"

Of course, you can report him for harassing you. Just keep a written log of the date and time of the insults/name-calling, and state specifically what he said, and who was present when he said it. Get a list of these and then go to somebody in charge who has authority over him and could get him removed from the dorm.

Also, if the harassing insults are sexist, racist, anti-religious--maybe you should see a lawyer, or at least tell those in authority you are offended on these specific grounds, show them the list of what he says, and tell them to take action, now that they know. You have passed the hot potato to somebody who must take some action--or face possible legal issues himself.

Answer 3

People who go around calling others "Douchebag" for no apparent reason are clearly bonkers and under no circumstances should you engage such a person in a conversation of any sort.

Answer 4

I would want to think of something really mean to say to him then throw beer in his face. But thats not the right thing to do. The more responsible reasonable thing to do would be ignore them. I know when people I dont like ignores me with that I'm better then you look it really gets to me. So if you wanna get under there skin just walk away cause you know your not immature and will not sink to there level and just smile like you dont care.

Answer 5

How old is this guy? I haven't heard that since high school. I'd say kill him with kindness, but I'm sure that would be hard to do..so I would ignore him, or find a tactful way to make him feel foolish for being so juvenile. Good luck!

Answer 6

Well, for starters you could stop humming video game music to yourself all the time. Also would be nice if you could lose the sunglasses when you're inside, do something with that ponytail, stop playing World of Warcraft for christ's sake, and for the love of GOD get rid of that pink strap on your cellphone.

DOUCHEBAG

Answer 7

sounds like a douchebag himself. he probably is/was the high school bully and is looking for confrontation. you could always bark in his face. that would throw him way off and hed probably think you were nuts. maybe he just has turettes syndrome.

Answer 8

I wouldn't take it seriously unless he's threatening you. Isn't it a custom for guys to just randomly insult eachother?

Answer 9

Come back with "dirty vagina sweat fart!" Just for fun I used this on a buddy and no one has been able to hold from laughing, just a fun combo of words.

Answer 10

Ask them if they need you services. And tell them you Base your price on how dirty they are. If they accept your offer then bid high.