Would you never speak to someone again if they gave you the wrong advice?

Question

If they told you to not to visit your ill dad 15000 miles away then he died.

I shouldn't have used the word advice, I was told not to go as it would upset my mom. does that make a difference to the answers?

Answer 1

I'm sorry about your dad but what is done is done, you just have to be careful as to what kind of advice you take in the future and from whom you take it. It's not worth losing someone else over though as I'm sure they never meant for you not to have had a chance to make peace with your dad or say your final goodbyes. It is upsetting not having that chance but it is already done and there's nothing you can do about it now, I'd say forgive the person and try to move on with your life.
Things happen in life and we don't always get to say goodbye but deep down I'm sure he knew that you cared for him and that should be of some comfort. You may think twice about taking advice from the same person in the future but forgiving them will help you move on with your life and be at peace with yourself.

Answer 2

You would only not speak to them again if what happened truly made you a bitter and resentful person. You do not mention if the 'person' knew your dad was so sick he might die, or you and your relationship with your dad - maybe you hadnt seen him for years and years and your 'friend' was giving you advice out of what they knew with the situation.

I wouldnt hold the grudge, you might be upset but that is natural, your father just passed away and sometimes it feels better to blame someone. You need to remember that advice is literally just advice. its only what someone else thinks, what they woudl do in the situation, you should never feel you HAVE to take someones advice and put it into place. Im sure if you had of asked 20 other people for advice for same situation, you would have come up with 20 different options to choose from. if you had of really wanted to visit your dad, then i dont think anything was really stopping you.

Answer 3

Lou, you must understand that people no matter how much they want to help are still human and make mistakes. I have a standard rule with my friends and family. If they ask for my advice then they agree that I am wise enough to handle any problem they have. I insist that whatever advice I give them, they follow. If they choose not to, I don't give them advice anymore. I know this sounds arrogant but it stops allot of problems with friends. I always take at least an hour to give advice. On the other hand if they are asking for my opinion, I know that they don't think that I may be the best person for that topic to answer their question. I will still give my opinion but don't expect it to be followed. I will drop an opinion in seconds. I take responsibility for my advice but not for my opinion. If you asked for advice, then that person who gave you this bad advice should accept responsibility for it. If you just asked for their opinion, well, it's up to you to decide what is good and bad. I guess the best thing i could say is if you don't think this person wise, don't seek their wisdom. If you want to punish them for a bad opinion, that's wrong.

Answer 4

You can't blame the person giving the advice. Advice is something you take or leave. What you essentially did, was ask that person what THEY would do in that situation. They may not have gone for a visit, so that's what they told you. You have to be accountable for your own decisions in the end. I AM sorry your father passed away before you could visit him. It's a sad situation and I know you'd like to be able to blame someone, but sometimes....things happen and there is no one to blame.

Answer 5

It's true your friends can often give you stupid advice. That's why sometimes friends aren't the best place to go. However, it's what you do with that advice that makes a difference. If you choose to take the advice, it's wrong to hold a grudge against your friend, because YOU made the decision, not your friend.

Answer 6

I know you must be feeling really angry right now & resenting the person who told you not to go but if this is a person who you would normally trust/confide in etc then ultimately they probably had your best interests at heart. They wouldn't have known that your father was going to die. If they'd known that they would have probably told you to go. Don't hold a grudge against this person, they are probably feeling really awful about the whole situation already. Life's too short to stay angry at people who really care for us. And remember they only gave you advice, it was ultimately your choice not to go.

Answer 7

That's a hard thing to deal with................on both sides. You know, we humans give wrong advice quite often thinking at the time that it's right, we make poor decisions quite frequently thinking they are right, and we too often act or react thinking we are justified.

I would hope that I would not cut a person off forever because of poor advice they gave me. After all, no matter what advice I'm given, the decision is mine.

Answer 8

Advice is just the opinion of the person you are asking, who is likely no better informed than anyone else. The person you ask tells you their opinion, and doesn't know the consequences of the decision any better than anyone else. It's up to you to make the decision, weigh and balance the consequences and choose the resolution to your problem. It's silly to hold a grudge because they never forced you to take their advice, and you most likely asked for it to begin with.

Answer 9

With hindsight, the person would probably have given VERY different advice.
A person can only give advice based on the facts they have at that time.
Life is far too short to never speak to someone again, why don't you try to discuss the matter with them - they are probably devastated about the advice they gave you too.

Answer 10

No way!!! You have also dished the wrong advice to someone before. She offered maybe because you asked and you should have weighed the advice if it was the right thing to do. By the way, since when did you start taking advice from other pple concerning abandoning your parents, anyway?!!!! SHAME ON YOU!!