If you didn't visit someone who was ill, then they died, would you feel guilty forever?

Question

If the person was 15000 miles away and you didnt get the flight cause you was told they would be airlifted back soon.

I really wanted to go but I was told that I must wait at home.

Answer 1

If I was dying...would I want people crowding around me?
Petal...no.

We die from this world...not from a room. It is nothing to do with flight schedules or work or child care or traffic lights!

We leave when we do. it is not when we leave that is important petal...it is who we leave.

Think one thought of who you love...and you are with them forever.

Answer 2

Answer: That all depends upon you!

In your question you stated that > you didn't make the flight because you were told the ill person would be airlifted back soon < and so you didn't get to see the person before death occurred ....and as a result of that, 'you feel guilty.'

It seems to me that you acted correctly within the boundaries of the information you were supplied with. And the fact that you didn't get to see the deceased prior to death ~ is that you 'fault' or responsibility?

As an alternative scenario: ~
Say, for example, you boarded a flight to fly the 15,000 miles, and while you were in flight the ill person was on a flight going the other way ...and then maybe died on arrival.

Would you still feel guilty?

I suspect that you are going to feel what you feel because you chose to feel it, and whatever anyone is likely to say is not going to change your mind (but that's just my 'suspicion').

Good luck with this.
Sash.

Answer 3

Fifteen thousand miles away is a looonng way to go visit an ill person, especially if you were given information they were going to be returning home via airlift. Very few people would expect you to have made that journey.

It is very sad that your friend died without your being able to say goodbye. However, you have a last chance at your friend's funeral or memorial service. Sign the guest book, send flowers, and grieve with the family for the loss of their loved one. Go to the burial if at all possible and lay a flower on the grave.

But the best thing is to remember your friend's life and what it meant to you. Recount those little happy incidents to the family, so they can share in the joy of your friend's life as you saw it.

Answer 4

No I wouldn't, thats a heck of a distance to travel when you've been told they're going to be coming back soon. It would be common sense to wait until they've been airlifted back as Im sure everyone else will think as well.
Now if it were someone in the same town and you didn't go because you couldn't be bothered then that would be a different story.

Answer 5

Under the circumstances being so far from them, don't feel guilty forever, your thoughts were with them and say prayers for them but don't feel guilty because you weren't right there. I'm sure that knowing this,that person didn't really expect you to be right there at the precise moment. I just lost my mom and felt bad but other things, like work, kept me from going. I also think that when they get so close to death they are not thinking about who is around the bed and who's crying and lots of different things.

Answer 6

I wouldn't feel guilty forever, I'd feel bad for a while but then I'd learn to let go and move on, without forgetting about them. You can't punish yourself forever for what happened, we all make mistakes sometimes and even though this one is a bit different I don't think punishing yourself forever is what your dad would have wanted.
It's OK to feel guilty or bad for a while but you need to learn to forgive yourself and the person who gave you the wrong advice. A lot of people have been through this and manage to survive, so will you.

Answer 7

If you where advised not to go and you thought it to be right and the people who told you that where your elders who you respected then it was just a wrong call it is not a blame culture remember the person as they where do not try to think of them in the state of illness they were in but as you remembered them illness does terrible thing to a person which could of imbalance you for the rest of your life so remember them as you last saw them for the good time not the latter Regards

Answer 8

Would depend entirely on the cicumstances.If the person died after a protracted illness.Then that would be upsetting.Again this would depend on the relationship,If it was a close family member it may be devastating.If only an aquaintance a feeling of regret and sadness.Forever is a long time,For this sort of bereavement,almost certainly a family member.Time heals all wounds

Answer 9

It's natural to feel guilty if someone dies & you didn't get to see them but please don't dwell on it, I'm sure your father would not want you to feel guilty. And it wasn't as if he was 15 miles away, he was 15,000 miles away, that's a very long way to travel. You didn't know that he was going to die so you shouldn't blame yourself or feel guilty. Your father knows how much you love him & i'm sure he would never want you to feel guilty. Please don't let this guilt eat away at you. Instead let your father's memory live on. Do all you can to help your family now, this is when you are most needed. I am so sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

No, not really, I would be sad that I didnt get 2 see them but I probably wouldnt cuz I didnt know any better. I blame the person who told u they were coming back!

Answer 11

My sister is ill in Scotland and I live and work in Ireland and I need to go home to see her but it is not for another 10 days and would never forgive myself if she died when I wasnt there for her and it is only 50 minutes from here