I am in a polygamous marriage. I am the second wife. I have never met my co wife because she is in another country and my husband hasn;t even seen her in 6 years. There is a very strong posibility she will come in 2 months. I knew about her when my husband and I got married, but I never though about the day I would have to share him. My husband loves me more, but doesn't want to hurt her. It was an arranged marriage with them, he never really loved her, just feels a duty for her. She is also the mother of his 2 kids. He has said many times he wishes he could turn back time so nobody would get hurt. I get a pain in my heart when I think about her coming. He doesn't want to lose his kids, that's why he won't divorce her, and he cares about her as a person, but not really love like we have with eachother. Any advice on dealing with this situation? I sometimes think to leave him, but that would hurt just as bad. I need words of wisdom. I need to fell better about this situation.
2007-01-22 12:04:53 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I am not looking for judgement, just advice or nice words.
2007-01-22 12:09:06 · update #1
My husband has talked to the kids everyday for the past 6 years, but they couldn't get a visa for the youngest one because he was very ill. They all 4 planned to come to USA the same time, but the youngest one had his visa denied, and they made a decision for my husband to come and the others follow. They didn't know it would take 6 years to get the visa approved.
2007-01-22 12:23:23 · update #2
The other wife may be hurting as much as you are. Perhaps she's worried about meeting you, too. If you feel that your husband loves you better, that's something to keep in mind. Talk more with your husband about it, and see if he can understand how you feel about the situation. Make it clear to him that it would probably make both you and the other wife feel very uncomfortable to meet face-to-face. If he truly loves you, he'll try to understand your feelings in this matter.
2007-01-22 12:12:23 · answer #1 · answered by solarius 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who says people have some kind of right to tell others who they should marry? Or what gender their spouse should be? Or how many spouses they should have? I am really, really tired of meddling fundie do-gooders trying to dictate to other people the way they should live their lives. The government should NOT be involved in the very private and personal relationship of marriage. Especially, the government should not be used by religious fanatics to force their views on others. There is no good reason why your love and your marriage should be limited to just one spouse. Of course there should be an end to exploitation and child rape and coercion such as the Mormon fundies do. But otherwise let all people be free to work out for themselves whatever works for them, without the meddling of outsiders.
2007-01-22 20:17:46 · answer #2 · answered by fra59e 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are in the US, polygamy is against the law. You better have your husband fix that or better yet, do it yourself. Otherwise, prepare yourself to deal with the emotional burden and the legal implications. Your children will suffer with this messed up situation. Better an amicable disolution of an illegal union than having to expose your children to the suffering of the legal complications.
Just a quick question, if your husband doesn't want to loose his 2 kids with the "other" wife, how come he has not visited them in 6 years? How convenient that after 6 years he remembers his "duty" as a father.
2007-01-22 20:15:43 · answer #3 · answered by ninhaquelo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Jacob Rachel and Leah did the same
it's biblical, Y'all
wisdom? follow your heart, listen to yourself
2007-01-22 20:12:35 · answer #4 · answered by voice_of_reason 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rent the HBO series "Big Love".
Watch it.
2007-01-22 20:11:26 · answer #5 · answered by QED 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your life sounds pathetic
get over yourself
2007-01-22 20:08:22 · answer #6 · answered by bukakke 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋