How can I get my 6 year old daughter to concentrate and focus more at school?

Question

My 6 year old daughter is having a hard time at school. She was in preschool from age 3-5 and everything went well for kindergarten last year. Now she hates going to school and won't sit still in class and do her work. She has been sitting alone (not in a group) since the 2nd week of school. My husband and I read with her everynight. She doesn't have problems doing grade 2 level math and is reading at a grade 2 level. Her teacher has been uncooperative. She is always making bad comments like " Your daughter didn't focus today", in front of her.She suggested we get her tested for ADD, our Doctor doesn't seem to think she has it, neither does anyone else that knows her. Basically, I feel my child is a bit immature...she is still only 6 and 95% of the kids in her class are already 7. My husband and I are meeting with the principal tomorrow, the teacher has pretty much indicated she doesn't want to talk with us. At this point I am just tired of punishing my kid, she really is a good kid.

Answer 1

It sounds like there is a personality conflict between the child and the teacher. That happens sometimes, especially if the teacher is new or burnt out. Perhaps you can have her moved to a different class. Have you spoken to your daughter about why she doesn't like school anymore? If she's doing work above her grade, she may simply be bored. She may not be able to explain it at six but keep trying.

Everyone wants to put a label on children, like ADD, and then fill them with drugs just because they can't handle them. Don't let that teacher bully you. It sounds more like a clash between them than a physical problem with your daughter.

Good luck.

Answer 2

My daughter had a similar problem. She is younger than the other kids in her class as well. Last year her teacher kept saying she needed to hurry up and focus more. The more you push my daughter the slower she goes. She was put in the program for extra help in reading and her teacher almost held her back. In the beginning of the school year she was reading at a beginning kindergarten level in 1st grade, then in the last month of school she blossomed and went to a 3rd grade level. Her reading teacher gave her the confidence that her regular teacher did not. This year in 2nd grade her teacher has a much different style where the kids are expected to show kindness in every aspect. She is doing great and was even tested for the talented and gifted program. She did not make it but that's OK too.
The teacher has a lot to do with it, especially if they don't see that all children learn differently. Hopefully the principal will give her a different teacher.

Answer 3

It sounds like you're being very level-headed about this situation. Don't pursue the ADHD route, even if they push you further. It's obvious, based on what you've said, that she has no trouble in other class-type situations.

It sort of sounds to me like she could be bored... I had the same problem with my son. Math and reading at grade 2 level, yet she's in first grade, right? Some teachers don't know how to handle children like that... Best to try to work it out with the principal... possibly change classrooms?

The real danger, as I see it, is that you or your daughter will get a reputation as "troublemakers" within the school. That's one you need to watch out for. See what the principal has to say, work with him/her to try to resolve the situation in a way that makes sense and is respectful of the school and of your child... and then keep an eye on things.

One bad year won't taint her entire academic life.. but a couple bad years, especially in the early years, might.

Answer 4

I don't think she needs to be punished, maybe a better teacher would help. I am sooooo tired of teachers pushing ADD on children like it explains every single thing. Sit in on the class. If it is allowed I don't know the rules where you are, in my city parents can just walk in and take a seat. The girl is 6 not a grown up of course she didn't focus some schools take the rules too far, for example last year my son got a detention for coughing! I had a fit and he did not go, but see it is getting ridiculous.

Answer 5

I actually am having the same problem. My daughter just turned 7 on friday. I met with the principal, school councelor and her teacher today for an "intervention program" my daughter does well in school when she feels like it and if it is not interesting to her that day then she does not focus. I did make an appointment with our family dr. and explained the issues a few weeks back and they referred me to the child psychiatry department of childrens hospital where I live. They said that alot of times children don't feel comfortable discussing problems or issues they may have with their parents. I don' know if the therapist can help- but I'm at the point where I will try anything. The ADD and ADHD diagnosis has a questionalre that the teacher and parent fill out and the dr. will evaluate. It wont hurt to try it. Good luck with your decision.

Answer 6

I had this prblem with my son in kindergarten. Everyday it would be a new thing, I finally had enough and went to the school and sat in the classroom everyday for a week. Nothing happened he did great. I think he was bored, he got done with his papers way before any of the other kids did. That left him time to goof off and let his mind wonder. ADD might be something to my son was fine until he was in 2nd grade when he really needed something to help him focus, but be sure to try everything before meds. Schools have a thing for pushing meds on kids...Our old school in Indiana even had a special nite for the kids with ADD/ADHD because there were so many. just because your child doesnt stay focus or misbehaves doesnt always mean they are ADD/ADHD. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 7

I think you're smart not to be quick to label your child. It sounds like the teacher for some reason does not seem to like your daughter. I personally had a first grade teacher who had the same problems with me. (Back then people didn't talk about ADD much) She labeled me as a trouble maker and I swear I never did anything wrong. I have gone on to be a very successful person who just had a lousy first grade teacher. See if you can switch her to another classroom. I'm sure your daughter is a perfectly normal child. Trust me, I know a lot of teachers...they certainly don't know everything and can frequently cop attitudes about certain kids based on their own emotional baggage. Good luck!

Answer 8

She is building a wall around herself,if you punish her it will get higher,is she bored at school?Has her eyesight been checked.?Is she happy at the school?Perhaps she would be happier in a lower class.Is she being bullied.If people are pressurising her she will slip further behind !Try some fun projects at home to keep the communication channels open,when school is less fun than it used to be, kids stop being interested.Her teacher sounds Mmmmm,I am not sure about her approach! Mum is very different from teacher, are you still her role model? most mums are , its hard for kids to accept anyone else.

Answer 9

As a parent who REALLY DIDN'T think her kid could possibly have ADD, I encourage you to pursue it. I was really thinking that ADHD was just an excuse. When you actually do the research and treat your child (non-medically and/or medically) you'll find an immense difference IF they actually have it.

Fill out the evaluation. YOU are PART of the evaluation. It is not just the teachers or the administrators. It's YOU, your Spouse, your Doctor AND the teachers.

ADD is not an accurate description. Attention can be a very Inconsistent thing. Concentrating fine one moment or day, and not well another.

I went my whole life not being diagnosed and always have teachers dissapointed with me because I was so smart but never really focused. A whole life of being dissapointing to those around you and being in trouble is not worth you not at least pursuing a cause.

In the evaluation, there could very well be another reason that surfaces.

I felt excatly like you do now, tired of punishing my kid even though he was doing fine academically. Bothered with his teacher cause her and I didn't see eye to eye and I didn't like how she handled things. ADD and ADHD are so much MORE than people's general perception of it. There are social aspects, academic, time-awareness issues, concentration, impulse control, occasionally insomnia. So many people are so quick to shout out "It's just a label or an excuse of laziness or bad parenting." and it can be... but not always.

My son has gone from a smart kid with very inconsistent attention and depression resulting from all the negative things in his life (teacher upset, shaky friendships, time outs at home, battles with completing homework, sibling issues) to being a brilliant kid who is liked by his classmates and teacher... who is happy with his life, cares about others, is friends with his sister and who still gets his homework done but without the battle.

He broke down and was in tears two years ago cause he was 'Always the one to screw things up, always the one to make the fun stop'. I could see how HARD he tried to be good, but he kept getting into trouble. I could finish a sentence and within the space of a breath he was repeating the same behavior. Still, other times I would see him try so hard to be good... and again and again with the time outs and the early bedtimes and the extra chores, the dissapointment from us.
Medicated, my son is able to stop before he goes to far. He's able to give his attention to his task. He's able to remember more than one instruction at a time. He knows other people's boundaries and respects them. He's considerate and polite. He is still rambunctious and active and still occasionally gets into trouble... but in a normal little kid way.

Your daughter's teacher isn't right to make comments like that in front of your daughter. And it's absurd that she isn't willing to discuss this with you. But just cause the teacher is rude doesn't rule out your daughter having a problem.

ADD/ADHD is not a learning disorder. Your daughter can be smart and still have a hard time paying attention.

Insomnia, depression, major life changes, and many other things can also lead to distraction while not being ADD. But please pursue the cause while ignoring the rudeness of her teacher.

Answer 10

if its a possiblity for you, home school her for a year. either that or have her transfered to another class. Teachers that don't want to make an effort to help a child learn, especially if its not disrupting the class are worthless and shouldn't be in the school system