am i falling out of love because of some guy i met at the library?

Question

i am 19 years old. i have been going out with my bf for 1 year. i know i am (was?) in love with him, i've never felt that way about anyone before. i really know it was love.

then yesterday i went to studying in the library.....there was this really cute guy, we kept looking at eachother then he wrote his number on a piece of paper and gave it to me an walked off. realizing this guy was cute and wanting to do something aobut it were the first signs that something weird was up. i usually don't even think of anyone else!

so i texted him....and we talked sort of and he's invited me out! i want to say yes but i don't know what to do, am i still not in love with my bf....it's been a matter of hours! i don't get it....

it's really stupid, because i don't even know the guy! maybe it's just a weird stage of my life!

this guy i met at the library is 20 my bf is 21.

Answer 1

You don't "fall out of love" after only a year. What you did was called "flirtation". If you truly love your boyfriend, you will let it go no further. In ANY relationship, you will flirt and be flirted with from time to time. You can either enjoy the quick casual boost to your ego and forget about it, or be the kind of person who will jump from one casual relationship to another without ever having anything truly deep and meaningful.

Now, I realize you are young and this is the time to be casual in your relationships, but don't claim to be "in love", so easily. Love lasts...and by lasts, I mean more than 12 months. I suggest you just date and enjoy yourself rather than tying yourself to one person. Be honest about it and there's nothing wrong with that.

Answer 2

When you get older this will become so much clearer but you are not really in love with either, you just are totally attracted to them sexually. Just because you don't imagine you both naked like a guy would doesn't mean that it's not sexual attraction. That type of attraction is even stronger than love, and you feel it much more intensely.

Love is more of a dull, boring kind of feeling that gets ingrained with your logical mind and is formed around habits and familarity. When you start thinking of your boyfriend like a brother, then you're in love. It takes years. Good luck sorting all this out.

Answer 3

if you were in love with your bf, there wouldnt be another guy in the world to make you think of cheating. lol sounds like you may be a little bored, and lets face it, you are still young. You need to experience life. I would tell the bf that you are going through something and need to know if he is who you want to be with. Tell him you want to see other people and he should to. Just be prepared to see him with another gal. If you can handle that, then i say you guys need to split and see if together is where you want to be. Dont cheat on him though. Dont go out with the guy until you have spoken to your bf and told him what you want to do. Nobody deserves to be cheated on so respect him in that manner. Good luck

Answer 4

Well, just think of it this way. I don't think you should go out with the new guy you just met when you already have a boyfriend. I would consider it cheating. Just put yourself into your boyfriend's shoes. What if he was dating you and he just met a girl that he barely knew and went out with her when he was still dating you. Would you like doing that? So before you do anything, just think whether you still love your boyfriend. To be honest, if you start liking another guy, then something might be wrong with your relationship. Try going out with your boyfriend again and see if theres any sparks. Just don't go out with him while you have a boyfriend cause thats just not cool.

Answer 5

If you are entertaining the idea of being with another guy, maybe it is time to take a breather on your relationship. You may need to date some more before you get more serious with the guy you are with. If this was and is your first serious relationship, it may be that you need to date a little to confirm to yourself where you are and where you want to be. Either way you shouldn't be texting this guy and keeping your boyfriend in the dark. It isn't fair to him. I don't think you would like it if he did the same to you.

Answer 6

First off you r not in love at all with ur bf,so date others and enjot life be free before doing something that u will leave later on,even to think it means your not into your man so get out and play good luck my friend.

Answer 7

It's just the idea of something new. It's just temporary most likely unless you deepen your situation by hooking up with him. It's the adrenaline thats getting to you. Or you could be stuck in a routine with your boyfriend staying with him out of habit and not out of true feelings anymore. Hang out with your guy and then spend some alone time(By yourself) and evaluate your relationship. I would wait a few weeks and try not to see that guy and see if the feelings wear off, if not it may be time to try someone new.

Answer 8

I had the same feelings for a guy i met at work. I even left my husband and am getting a divorce for this guy. But I felt as though my husband was really mean to me and that made me pursue this guy. I am with this new guy, but i still love my husband but cannot go back. it would be too awkward. so do what you feel is right. it may just be a crush.,

Answer 9

If you were my girlfriend, you'd break my heart if you left me for some guy just because he is "cute" and you talked to him once.

I don't think I could ever understand if my girlfriend did this, unless we didn't get along that well anymore and things had been going poorly for awhile.

You might just be infatuated and I would just warn that this doesn't guarantee a relationship that would be at all better than what you have already.

Most importantly- follow your heart.

Answer 10

Welcome to Life 101.....

The grass is always greener. This new guy - he is an unknown, something new, a fancy. Nothing more. Your BF - he is old now, routine, boring to you. Thats how life is. When you get married, it will be the same. There will always be someone more attractive than your husband - are you gonna react to it??