So, I decided to tell my boyfriend of three years that I have redirected my priorities and he is no longer one of them as he has not shown me that he truly wants to change. The problem is that we are vey much in love, but I want him to change, meanwhile I also want to be with him. "If it hurts so bad why does it feel so good?"
2007-01-22 11:31:50 · 13 answers · asked by Elizabeth 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It hurts because you still very much care for this person. I went through a similar experience where I was with someone for over three years. During that time they hardly kept a job and I put up with a lot (drug addiction, stealing money from me, etc). They got the help they needed, but anyone that knows someone whose gone through rehab it takes a long time to get back on your feet again. I finally said "I need to make me a priority" and broke it off for a while. Though it's very painful sometimes YOU need to change and allow yourself to find YOU and what are the priorities in YOUR life. Once you do that and the other person has also done the same your priorities may mesh again. Sometimes space is needed to allow you to clear the air and see things for what they are. You may end up getting back together or you may thank yourself for realizing that it really wasn't meant to be. Stick to your guns and ride it out. You'll be thanking yourself for doing what you did in the future. Good luck! PS We got back together later on down the road and have been going strong ever since.
2007-01-22 11:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by xander2025 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you be very much in love, and he not be a priority?
It sounds like you love him, but you are not in love.
He shouldn't and probably cannot change who he is, therefore will never live up to your expectations, and never have the love he deserves.
Let him go so he can find someone who loves him for what he is, not what he could be.
2007-01-22 11:45:47 · answer #2 · answered by Seerin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat, but I am married. I talk to my husband all the time. If it's been more than a month and he hasn't changed, then he isn't worth your time. If he loves you, then he would have already changed. I told my husband that if he didn't change his way, I was going to leave him. I was pregnant at the time with our first child but miscarried. I blamed myself for the miscarriage but realized that it brought us closer together and he really did change. I guess it took losing our baby and that tearing me apart for him to realize what he was doing wrong. Maybe it takes you leaving for him to realize what he did. Good luck!
2007-01-22 11:37:51 · answer #3 · answered by ~M*a*N*d*Y~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cuz adult males seem to think of being a canines is lovable. to boot many times while a guy or woman calls somebody a b*tch they are many times attempting to be disrespectful. Like if I in simple terms walked up and suggested as you a f*g. i'm particular you would be particularly teed off.
2016-12-12 17:59:06 · answer #4 · answered by amass 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it hurt and feels good then it's love.
one thing you should know is that you can not force people to change you can only do that by helping them make the right decisions.
you have to see things his way sometimes,you have to let him know that he could take things slow for your own sake.
let him know that most of his actions are hurting you and you need him to put you in his own shoe.
tell him you want to really be with him if he could reconsider some of the things he is doing and make amendment to accommodate you in his life.cheers.
2007-01-22 11:41:39 · answer #5 · answered by bright 247 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened to "just love me for me"...Isn't that what you girls are always saying??? So you're doing each other a favor by moving on. You'll be free to continue your search for "the perfect man" and he can find someone who'll be happy with him the way he is.
2007-01-22 11:38:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be all that much in love if you want him to change so much that you're willing to end it. Without knowing what you want to change, it's impossible to know if you're leaving him for a good reason or a superficial one.
2007-01-22 11:36:40 · answer #7 · answered by Lunatic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y does everyone get into relationships and then when the other person doesnt change into what they want then they bail? are u sure ur not the one who needs to be changed?
2007-01-22 11:38:38 · answer #8 · answered by mommie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's treated u badley then it would feel good to know that he might be hurting as much as u are or were...
2007-01-22 11:36:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cause evryhting hurts u just have to decide who is worth it , oyu cant get someone to change if they dont want too
2007-01-22 11:36:18 · answer #10 · answered by carebear_destroyer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋