Are these cute or what?

Question

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US


An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said,

"Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
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FAMILY

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the

bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters.
She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knocking on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
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"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
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WHAT A CHOICE

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing
home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex." She

walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.
Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
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OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the
years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limit ed to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
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DRIVING

As a senior

citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
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DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it.
I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.
Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she

was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and sa id, "Mildred, do you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?"

Answer 1

Ha Ha! Funny! 10/10! Good ones.

Answer 2

Funny! 8/10

Answer 3

Yes

Answer 4

yeah those are funny although i don't get the one about driving the wrong way on the interstate and the one called "what a choice". the rest are good though. lol!

Answer 5

I'm 32 and i think it is happening to me. By the time I got to the end of the jokes I forgot the question :)

Answer 6

A young woman was called to the hospital as her grandfather had taken a heart attack. When she arrived at the hospital she asked her grandma what had happened.

"Well dear your grandfather and me where in bed making love and because we are not as young as we use to be, your grandfather use to go in rythm to the sound of the church bells"

"Is that when he took the heart attack" the grand-daughter asked her grandma.

"no dear, it was when the ice-cream truck came down the street"

Answer 7

LOL ive heard some of those, but the reast are really funny.

Answer 8

Lol, Jodi C, I really enjoyed these. Did you find them or make them up?

I gave you a star.

Answer 9

yes these are cute and so funny and let's both hope we don't get that way. if so I won't drive, you can ....and the rest I hope not too.
thanks for making me smile and laugh..

Answer 10

All very funny,and sad but true !!