I have two young kids. I let my mom move in with me just after my husband and I separated. I told her before she moved in that she could stay with me if she promised not to do drugs. (she has a history) After she was there for awhile I asked her to get a job because I was having trouble supporting her. I was just learning how to live with my two kids with one income. She kept telling me she was looking for a job and started coming home late. She was using my sons cell phone etc.... to make a LONG story short I found out she was using drugs, she never got a job, she stole from me, she was always asking for money and she was giving my sons cell phone number out to her junkie friends. I kicked her out in the best interest of my kids and my brother called me telling me what a horrible person I am. I don't think he has any right considering this had nothing to do with him. My dad keeps telling me to call him. I think he should call me. What do you think?
2007-01-22 11:24:21 · 27 answers · asked by netlee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Now that you are a mother, you have to keep what is in their best interests first and foremost. Your brother has no right to judge you since he doesn't seem to be doing much to help her. Tell your father that you are very hurt by the way your brother is reacting (I agree that he should be the one to contact you). I am sorry that you are not getting a more supportive reaction from your family and I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this situation.
2007-01-29 15:21:00 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were right to kick your mom out. She's chosen her path. You have to protect your kids now. She knew the rules going in. Does you brother know all the facts? Is he stuck with her now? Shame on him for treating you like this. Dad just wants you to kiss and make up. As a parent, I understand that. You could call him and tell him how upset he made you. Ask him why you are such a horrible person? Does he want what's right for you mother or your children? Now that some time has passed maybe he's calmed down and will be more approachable. I hope for your sake he is. Good luck..
2007-01-30 07:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you are dealing with an addict, you can't reason with them, or expect reasonable behavior, like you would with anyone else. You can't really expect anything. Except chaos. Your mother is an adult. She is making poor choices that you shouldn't have to pay for. Emotionally, or monetarily. All things considered, I would distance myself from the problem, and go on with your life. You've already tried. Some people really don't want the help. Why ruin your life in the bargain? Before long, you'll be thinking of turning to drugs or drinking from all of the stress!!! It's too bad it's your mom, but she is a person, and you can't "fix" or "control" someone. There are times when you can do nothing. Sorry.
2016-05-23 23:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother needs to hear your side of the story so maybe give him a quick call with your version of the ordeal and let him know that you can not afford her and her habits not to mention that she has also proven herself to be a very bad influence on her grandkids.
Don't let your brother make you feel as though you have done wrong by him because like you said it has nothing to do with him. If he cares so much, perhaps he can put a roof over her head, find her a job and purchase a cell phone for her as well to keep her drug resources available.
Support your kids as they are the ones counting on you, not your mother.
2007-01-29 13:53:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did exactly the right thing. Call your brother and call your father and explain that your first responsibility is to your children. Get the info straight with them, because your mother probably told them otherwise....
If your brother is upset, let him take on the care of your mother, don't back down with either your father or your brother--they need to know what was going on-- By letting your mother stay you would only be enabling her drug habit. You can not risk you children being around that--unless you wish to lose custody of your own children.
Your a good mother for standing up to what you know is right.! Don't let anyone tell you your horrible or were wrong.
2007-01-27 14:40:51 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your first responsibility is to your children. If your brother is so upset and concerned then maybe he should let your mother live with him. Or put her up and pay for it. Your brother may be angry with you, but how angry would you be with yourself when a junkie showed up at your door, and hurt one of your kids? Or if Children services removed them from your home because your mom was using there. Your ex could seek full custody of your children, and even if he was half the parent you are...he could win if he disclosed that your mother was an addict and lived with you. Point out the obvious facts to your brother about the risks to your children, and ask if a sane and loving uncle would want to put his sisters children at risk. As for whom should call whom, make the call. Maybe he would understand after you told him why it is you were so concerned and had to put her out. Tell him you don't wish your mom harm, that you gave her the opportunity to clean up her act, and she failed herself. In all honesty, your mom will have to hit her own rock bottom before cleaning up her act. Good luck...and remember, your children are your responsibility...it is not your job to raise your mom..it was her job to raise you. You can never help someone if they will not help themselves.
2007-01-30 10:50:48 · answer #6 · answered by christina s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey welcome to my boat, lol, over the Christmas holiday's my parents came to stay with my son and I...and everytime my father went out of the room my mother started nit-picking, she started a fight because I said I don't know , when she asked what kind of veggies we were having for dinner...Anyway as the week prgressed it just got worse, they complained about everything, and nothing I did was right..my mother is a manic depressive on some fairly stong ani pshycotic meds...anyway she always thinks I am plotting against her, come boxing day they inform me they are leaving...my mother threw a plastic pop bottle which hit my son in the head...so to make a long story short, they had to go...and well we haven't talked since...My brother won't talk to me what so ever he thinks I am evil...The only thing that I can tell you, is just let it be, he will come around, the reason is because deep down he knows...let your brother calm down, if he's anything like my brother then he's defensive when it comes to his mommy...don't call him...give him time and then try to reach out to him...I send my brother emails making fun of his sports teams, he's still not talking to me, but he knows I love him...good luck
2007-01-28 17:47:48 · answer #7 · answered by beans 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rather then call I think you should write him a letter. This will avoid him not hearing what you have to say and getting into a screaming match. I think if your mom has a drug problem then you should not have her in your house and around your children.
I am sure your brother is not aware of the whole story. I am sure that is not the version she gave him.
2007-01-30 02:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no...don't you give in to him. He should be more of a man and have more understanding from your point. She is a grown women you shouldn't to be trying to raise a grown women again! You move on with your life and if he calls fine if not why lose sleep. Why should your dad want "you" to call your brother anyway. If he is so worried about your mother that needs help and needs to grow up he should find her help and house her for a while. Best wishes with you.
2007-01-30 08:42:37 · answer #9 · answered by Animal_lover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother is most likely upset because he might have to support your drug addict mother. Id call him and give him a warning. As to what she did do and what she was doing.
So, he can decide if he wants to help her or not. Also if she hits rock bottom it might be the best thing for her. No help, no one to lie to and trust her. She has no way but up from there on out.
2007-01-29 21:49:04 · answer #10 · answered by lovie12346 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋