Four years ago I met a guy. I was engaged to someone else but never told him. He was very interested in me, we never had sex, kissed, or even held hands but I was crazy about him. I was too afraid to call off my wedding for fear that it was just cold feet that was causing me to feel this way. He and I continued talking after I got married and finally I came clean about the situation. (he had moved to Texas over this time period, I live in Ohio. but we continued to talk on the phone, etc. Then I found out I was pregnant and JIm and I continued to talk as friends of course until one day he told me he had met someone and that they had really hit it off and that he had told her about me and that she didn't think that he and I should talk anymore. I agreed. Well its been two and a half years since then, I've gotten a divorce, and made a lot of changes to better my life & I would love to talk to him again. Would it be inappropriate for me to contact him or would that just cause problems?
2007-01-22 10:43:55 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just wanted to add that he is not married and never married that girl to the best of my knowledge they aren't dating anymore. Also, my relationship with him during my marriage was plutonic and had nothing to do with the reason my marriage ended.
2007-01-22 11:03:42 · update #1
It seems to me that you really care for this person. I think it would be great for you to try and communicate with this person again. Whats the worse that could happen? You never know. He even may be the one that you really were meant for. I think you should absolutely go for it. Let me know how everything works out.
2007-01-22 10:48:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It would be so very inappropriate. You're holding on to some pipe dream that he is madly in love with you. You had your chance and you choose not to take it. So you ended up in a marriage that didn't work and are probably feeling sorry that you don't have the storybook ending and your dreaming that this guy you think you let get away will make the fairy tale come true. Ain't going to happen. Sorry. Get a grip. Take charge of your life. Find your own happiness. Make a good life for you and your child, hopefully you have a good relationship with your ex because ultimately you need to be unselfish and do that for your child. But go on and make a life for yourself and be happy and stop holding on to a dream that won't work because you're the only one dreaming it. Don't make a fool out of yourself. How would you feel if you were happily married and a girl from your guys past suddenly calls wondering if he is as unhappy as she is.
ADDITIONAL
Ya know, I'm just reading some other questions you asked. 2 months ago you asked about a guy flirting with you and how fun it was and one month ago you asked about your husband having an affair. Ya know, the way you looked outside your marriage with the guy in class and the guy in the above question really tells me that you are way too immature to be in a committed relationship.
2007-01-22 10:49:01 · answer #2 · answered by BlueSea 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do not contact this guy. It sounds like the relationship with this guy may have been a factor in your break up. Do you really want to put him in that same situation? Not fair of you. Find your own man.
2007-01-22 10:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by Tamm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have nothing to lose by contacting him...with the exception of not ever knowing if what you guys had was true love. Take a chance...no harm no foul and the worst thing that can happen is that he tells you he is not interested in pursuing a relationship with you...which you don;t have now anyway...so take the chance! Love is worth it!
2007-01-22 10:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by chick33 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What have you got to lose? Honestly, you haven't talked to him for 2.5 years, so if you call him and it doesn't work out, what's the worst that will happen, you won't talk to him anymore? But you're already not talking to him... Just call him. Sometimes the best things you can do are the thing you fear the most. Go for it!
2007-01-22 10:50:50 · answer #5 · answered by bsbfrk411 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends i guess on how much you guys talk and have been hanging out. id say become distant but dont ignore her. and if it seems like she is not becoming more eager then just go back to talking like you normally would. tell her to contact you sometimes and wait. if she doesnt contact her either later that night or the next morning
2016-05-23 22:57:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you should it could cause a lot of problems what happens if his wife pick up the phone you should move on its been 2 1/2 years
2007-01-22 10:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by spuds36 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This will only cause trouble and it is inappropriate, just like it was inappropriate for you to be talking to him when you were married. If find out that he is still single, then call him, if he is involved, leave him alone.
2007-01-22 10:48:50 · answer #8 · answered by Girls M 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, you could drop him a letter letting him know that your situation has changed and asking him how he is. Then wait for a reply. If you get no reply, then you know he isn't interested or available, and you should forget it. If he replies and he's still married, you shouldn't write him back.
2007-01-22 10:48:40 · answer #9 · answered by Elizabeth L 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you can contact him; but do not expect anything. He may have settled down in which case you should leave him alone; if he is free then go forward as you see fit.
2007-01-22 10:47:52 · answer #10 · answered by Firienscatha 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋