Single parents, how do you keep the peace?

Question

Woman and men who have kid(s) with someone you never married, how do you keep the relationship between you and the other parent from going really bad?? Wether you dislike them now or wether you just hradly talk to them.

**Please do not answer if you are not in this sort of situation, I want firsthand adivce from people dealing with this themselves.

I don't exactly mean have a friendship or close relationship, but when you have a kid with someone you have to talk and communicate. But sometimes things turn sour and what I guess I meant to say is if you do have a decent communicative relationship with the other parent then how did you get that and how do you keep it?

Answer 1

1. Keep your mouth shut too the kiddies regarding problems / opinions w/other parent.
2. Communicate re: school/grades, health...even if you don't like the other parent, mail or email info.
3. Help the kiddies stay in touch: means buy those b-day, mother/fatherday /christmas cards etc. Send out those school / vacation pics. TO the other parents family/grandparents as well, or send enough for him/her to do so.
4. let / make those phone calls for them to the otherP and DONT listen in.

PRAY

It's a hard life, trust me I know

Answer 2

This is the hardest part about having children and the relationship goes bad. To keep the peace I think of my own sanity. If I dwell on all the things he has said to get under my skin there wouldn't be enough time in the day to enjoy spending time with my children.

Anytime he makes a negative comment about why our marriage didn't work I start talking about the kids, for example bring up their grades, special events going on at school, etc. If he continues to go on about the break up, I tell him that I have to go to the grocery store, if this doesn't work I tell him that I have to go to the library (bathroom), and you know how I need to concentrate when I have to go so we'll talk later.

It never ends so you always need to find a way out, and a way to remain claim. Never talk to him in front of the children if things could become ugly.

Answer 3

I guess my situation is different. My son father and I broke up when my son was 4 months old. We had a hard time talking to each other. But we learned that we have to be some what friends for our son. We co-parent and that works so well for use. We talk to each other every day about our son and what we both want for a child. He takes our son when he has free time and If I need anything from him he will get it without a question. I guess it all depends on how you ended your relationship with that person. I ended it on a really good note. I hope that helps you

Answer 4

My oldest son has a different dad than my youngest two. I had him right after I graduated from high school. I just use my father as a mediator. When his dad wants to get him I drop him off at my dad's and he picks him up from there. When he calls I hand the phone to my son. I only talk to him about matters concerning our son. If we have anything to discuss we just discuss it, if the conversation gets heated I just say I'm not going to argue with you and end the conversation. But he doesn't come over my house and that is his choice I haven't seen him face to face in about a year and a half but my son sees him regularly. I don't have a problem with him personally I think he doesn't like me but I could care less. I have a boyfriend and we have two other kids together and I have moved on. If you just realize that you don't have to be friends with each other, just parents then you'll be fine.

Answer 5

We just keep it very civil and only speak on matter that concern our daughter. We mostly email that way we can't get upset with the tone of the other person or whatever. Every now and again we start fighting, but we usually try and resolve it. You just have to remember to never take out the frustrations of your ex on your child, never down talk the other parent, etc. I always encourage my daughter to talk freely about her daddy and his girlfriend. Just about a week ago she told me she wanted a locket necklace with a picture of her dad and Sarah (his girlfriend). Sure that hurt, but I said, ok, lets find one. We went to Target and I found a cute one and sent it with her to her dads house.

Answer 6

I just dont have a relationship with the fathers of my children. They hurt me too bad to even want one but I dont talk negative about them to my children. Or fight with them ever I just let it go and move on.

Answer 7

we do not talk to each other unless we have to....now that our daughter is getting older we rarely speak..might not be pefect but better than our kid seeing us be rude to each other..i just do not bad mouth her, (my daughters) , mom.