If you make a comment about your girlfriends/boyfriends' body...?

Question

not being up to your ideal or expectation. Does that imply she/he's not good enough? change how you feel about her/him? is it okay to say something like that about someone you love? what would you do if someone you loved said it to you? would you still feel loved by them??

I don't care what my man looks like but he's made comments that have made me self-concious about me.

Answer 1

Hmm, he's got a small todger, eh?

Answer 2

That's a horrible thing to say! If someone gains weight or is underweight then you can make a comment about how worried you are about their health. But if you're with somebody who is purely into how you look then you should dump them. I'd rather not be with someone as shallow as that. I was a size ten and I loved my body but my bf said I had big thighs. He said that but he had the smallest willy ever! he made me laugh, at least I can lose the inches off my thighs, what could he possibly do to make it better?!? Anyway...saying you are not up to my expectations is harsh and I would go and find someone a little bit nicer. Relationships are not all about the sex.

Yep, tell him how much he's hurt you, tell him that it's put you right off him and his personality isn't up to your expectations. Say you can work on your body but he will always be an ars3. I think he lives in a fantasy world where women all look like the ones out of magazines, but even those girls are air brushed.

Answer 3

I think if this person can change the way they look physically like getting fit, you should be willing to make a good example. For example, start going to the gym and ask them if they want to come. If they don't, then don't push them. They would probably want to see if it works on you, first.

If it's something that they can't change and they're sensitive about it, then you should not bring it up. Unless this person is entirely aware of their physical faults and is willing to do something about it, like plastic surgery, do not say a word. Otherwise, just support them in their decision.

Now, if someone said you were getting a little flabby, would you up and run to the gym and start dieting? If so, that's great! But some people call that being vain. It's better to just accept yourself the way you are as long as you feel confident and sexy. And rather than focusing on someone negative characteristics, focus on their positives!

Answer 4

I think it depends on the context and tone if how it was said. Quite honestly I think it is great that a mate would feel comfortable enough to be open and say it to their mate...as long as it was done in a loving...not intentionally cruel way. I know that sound silly...but if the person you are with cares about you they should be able to express anything to you...even if it is something that is not necessarily pleasant. There is so much more to loving someone than just the physical appeal part...yet it is of course a big part of physical intimacy so I think you have to respect the fact that they care enough to say something...unless it is something you are not able to change.

Answer 5

I would think that this is something that's better left unsaid. Especially if its something they can't change. Why let that person know that information in the first place? If you love the person, then you obviously love them for many other reasons.

Also, it really depends on what the subject is. I mean, if you're asking this person to lose weight because you think it may be affecting their health, then that's something worth mentioning.

Then again, it all depends on the personality of who you're talking to. People will take this type of stuff in different ways. But always use you're better judgment, esp. if you're unsure. Just because you may be able to handle a comment, doesn't always mean they will.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Yes, it implies that they're not good enough. If I loved someone enough, how they looked wouldn't change how I feel about someone. I would be hurt if a bf said something to me about it, because they're supposed to love me for me, not matter what. I don't know if I could stay in a relationship with someone who said something like that. I'd pretty much be crushed.

Answer 7

The only remarks my husband give's me are ones I'm aware of, no name calling or insults. He tells me I should eat more, which is true because I'm kinda underweight. He says one of my breasts are bigger than the other, which is true, but he says he adores them.

Comments vary hugely, so it all depends on the intention and the comment.

Answer 8

Its never ok to put down someone because of a physical flaw... Its shallow and callous....

How would you feel if your boyfriend saw you in a new swimsuit you thought was the bomb, and said, "Wow, Your *** is getting fat ", it would crush you....

If you are more concerned about someones external appearance then they arent the right person for you...

People and their bodies change with age, and different times of their life, and you cant hound someone about that.

Its not fair for someone to say it to you or to say it about someone, I would be so self conscious after that, it would totally affect me.

Answer 9

My guy and I discuss the way our bodies look all the time. I think it all depends on comfort with each other. He always asks me if I think he needs to go to start going to the gym again, or if he needs more muscle again... If he said something minor about the way I looked I don't think I'd be mad, but this is because we're deeply in love and he's the right one for me. In casual dating I would just avoid this subject, same with relationships actually unless you're extremely comfortable discussing things with your partner, and if you know they are easily upset, or obsessed with their image, I wouldn't talk about it.

Answer 10

Be very careful in this area! There is so much trouble you could get into, or create. If my hubby was to say something like this to me, I would try to keep in mind that I am who I am, but it would always be in the back of my mind. You may want to try to get them more active if they are a bit heavy, or something, but that is also a very dangerous ground to walk on, Good Luck!

Answer 11

If he only cares about physical traits, I'd say dump his pathetic ****. I'm a guy, but I find other guys who reduce girls to their physical traits to be douchebags. Find yourself a better guy.