I have been going through alot of stress about whether or not i want to be with my ex or not. It basically all boils down to the fact that i dont want a guy right now, but i have no idea how to tell him. I tried, but he said it was fine and that we could be friends with benefits, but i dont think i even want that. I really need time to figure myself out, I am only 19, so i cant be settled down right now... Anybody have any advice?
2007-01-22 09:05:26 · 25 answers · asked by Mandi B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm 19----with almost the same problem!
You may not know what you definitely WANT--- but you DO know what you DON'T WANT--- which is a relationship.
In my case, I just told the guy that I didnt really feel ready for a relationship, and he slowly backed off.
BOTTOM LINE: If this dude doesnt RESPECT your wish, then he doesnt RESPECT YOU----
If he cant even handle plain friendship right now---maybe you should just tell him to stay away completely until he can
2007-01-22 09:16:23 · answer #1 · answered by What gives? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't call him or talk to him. Ex-boyfriends don't ever do well as 'just friends'. If you stop talking to him, he'll stop calling. When he calls, don't bring up any new subjects. Answer all of his questions but be to the point. Start treating him like someone you never slept with who's always after you. He'll get the hint really fast. If he doesn't, he's the stalker type. If he is, cut off all communication with him. If you talk to him, it'll continue on and get very messy. Trust me on this one.
2007-01-22 17:21:50 · answer #2 · answered by Elise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly what you want. You seem to know already. Don't spare his feelings or you'll get caught up in a relationship that you didn't want. Take time for yourself. If he finds someone else, you may get a little jealous...just remember why the relationship ended in the first place and all his bad points. You'll know that now she's putting up with his mess.
2007-01-22 17:11:02 · answer #3 · answered by Just Wondering 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him, and put force into it. Dont look away or quiet ur voice. Tell him that you dont want any kind of relationship right now and if he cant deal with that, than he can just leave u alone. i know how u feel. with my ex-it was either dating..or nothing. he said we could be friends, but he never meant it. so i chose nothing. better to stand up for yourself, and lose a guy, than be shoved around to doing stuff u dont wanna do
2007-01-22 17:10:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be direct and just keep it very matter of fact. I would think since you've been able to articulate this scenerio in this forum.... just use what you wrote. Call him up and say "__________ I don't want to be friends w/benifits & if you suggest it again we won't be friends." ( if he interupts, ask him not to, that you need to finish ) Becuase we are friends I'll share with you that I want some time to just figure myself out a little and right now I don't need a guy in my life."
if he is well adjusted he will say something like " ________, please forgive me for being pushy and saying friends with benifits, i appologize. & please take all the time you need and call me when you want I'll be happy to talk, but I'll give you the space you need."
if he is not well adjusted it will be something different. Thank him for taking your call and say goodbye.
2007-01-22 17:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by dharp66 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy being single. Then just say
"At the monment I am happy being single. I want to find out whats out there. But I still enjoy spending time with you. So don't take this as I doing this againest you. I am not interesting in have a relationship at the monment."
2007-01-22 17:17:10 · answer #6 · answered by vicky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really wants to be your friend, then he will understand when you are honest with him that you only want friends...without benefits to figure you and yourself out. I applaud you for recognizing that within yourself, but the only way for him to understand that is for you to be honest with him and stop giving him "benefits". You have a right to need this and want it at this time and need to be honest with him. He will appreciate it.
2007-01-22 17:09:53 · answer #7 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not just read to him what you posted as your question. But instead of talking about him in third person say "you."
And tell him that it is demeaning to ask to be friends with "benefits."
2007-01-22 17:33:05 · answer #8 · answered by iltamusiikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell hi you need time to think about things first he should understand (If you need any more help send me a message and I'll help)
2007-01-22 17:09:44 · answer #9 · answered by tyler d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about I don't need a relationship right now.
2007-01-22 17:19:12 · answer #10 · answered by Nicholas J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋