People say I'm a good looking girl. I'm not overweight, I take care of myself, yet I get insanely jealous over other girls. Like, I cant even enjoy myself anymore watching tv (like music videos) or just the other night I went to a concert where the background dancers were pretty much like strippers on stage. it ruined my entire weekend cuz my boyfriend was with me. he never says anything about other girls, but i know he must be thinking about it. what do i do? how do i stop this? i can't even enjoy myself anymore. its getting out of hand. any advice?!
2007-01-22 07:58:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I am 21, and I'm not immature or anything. I am fully grown.
2007-01-22 08:04:27 · update #1
But your boyfriend chose to be with you, if he is a good guy, that means he wants you and not another girl. He probably isn't really looking at other girls, you are paranoid because you don't believe you are as good as them. If you can't get rid of these thoughts, you might have OCD or something similar, because that can cause you to worrry all the time and you can't get it out of your head, even if the worry is baseless. You should go to a therapist, thats the best thing to do. If you want to have a healthy relationship you need to address these issues with a proffesional because its obviosly making you very unhappy. ANd what your bf thinks about you isn't as important as what you think about yourself!
2007-01-22 08:07:37 · answer #1 · answered by magical_trumpy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just understand that if anyone notices you, it will likely only be because they want something from you; they won't scrutinize you the way you do yourself. I'm willing to bet most of us are completely ignored 99% of the time. If other people don't care what you look like, why should you? Envy and low self-esteem are different; be sure you have the right perpetrator. Hot dancers on TV are only tools of advertisers peddling their wares, not real people. They will be forgotten. You are a real person who has the opportunity to be unforgettable to your loved ones, to help other people grow and learn. On a side note, I can be almost certain that your boyfriend thinks about very few things, and you're most likely only assuming that he thinks about other women. Ask him; do not presume to know everything he is thinking, you may be surprised.
2007-01-22 08:19:37 · answer #2 · answered by evilclownspiders 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all when you are looking at people on television and backup dancers, you are getting a skewed vision of what real people look like. The majority of normal people do not have enough time and enough money to spend all day working on their bodies and to spend hundreds of dollars on beauty supplies, clothes, and makeup artists/hairdressers. You should not feel bad for not being mirror images of these people. These people are also always in costume on tv or at concerts. In real life after the light effects, layers of makeup and costumes are gone, they have a totally different appearance. Be proud that you take care of yourself and are aware of your health. Next time you watch tv or go to a concernt and find yourself unable to enjoy it because of what other girls look like, remember, it is not reality, and you are your own beautiful person. You have to come to accept yourself, and say this is who I am and I can't change that-- and then eventually I be you'll start feeling like you don't want to change it.
2007-01-22 08:08:26 · answer #3 · answered by blue_girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wonder why people think that self esteem is based on body weight and looks?
It isnt.
Your internal dialog is out of wack, you are telling yourself all of these things and they are repeating over and over like a tape machine.
People of all shapes and sizes have issues with self esteem, though this world only thinks that overweight people should have low self esteem.
I can't tell you how to fix it because I can't fix myself.
2007-01-22 08:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just think other girls wish they were as pretty as you! I mean do whatever it takes to feel beautiful...from pampering yourself with manicures and pedicaures to buying cute outfits. Life is too short to spending it evevying other people. And I know how sometimes you think ur guy might find the other girls pretty...but guess what he's w/ you and I'm sure he loves you too. So cheer up!
2007-01-22 08:08:24 · answer #5 · answered by M♥R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just don't think about them!!!!! and don't take first impressions about ur boyfriend how do you know? and half of the girls on TV are computerly edited and u r still growing and your body is changing deal with it!!! just wait till you stop growning then you will see a hot stripper in u
2007-01-22 08:03:07 · answer #6 · answered by jbjessbess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how it is to have low self-esteem. I sometimes still struggle with it, but what really helped my was reading the Bible. If you are christian, but not very "in touch", you really should re-evaluate. I think you should read any book of the New Testament and you will quickley find multiple reasons why you are perfect in God's eyes and you were made in his own image. He loves you, just the way you are.
"All beautiful you are my darling, there is no flaw in you."
Song of Songs :7
2007-01-22 08:04:42 · answer #7 · answered by .:Blair:. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you were to go to a very strict religious group you would soon be seriously disappointed. Girl you are totally out of step with your social group and don't even see that everyone is now wearing a mask except you... good luck but don't blame yourself. It is part of the way life is designed .
2007-01-22 08:39:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know this sounds weird but you and your bo a should go on a vacation together BUT it s purpose is for fun, NOT romance. Your depression could be from stress and this will relieve it. Plus it being about fun instaed of romance will take all the pressure off.
2016-03-15 15:38:53 · answer #9 · answered by cancerman_5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to see the doctor. He/she can recommend a therapist you can talk to about your feelings. It isn't easy to look into your self-esteem issues, but it will help you for the rest of your life if you can resolve this.
2007-01-22 08:04:40 · answer #10 · answered by diannegoodwin@sbcglobal.net 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋