mom problem?

Question

ok please help. my mom has been single since i was 1 year old. everytime she gets a date or boyfriend, she and i end up moving in with him right away. it's really bugging me. they all have been jerks. all they care about it her and not me. and when they brake up, we end up moving and moving to different states. i am now only 13 and i've moved about 15 times. it's really hard to make friends. when i tell her these problems, she doesn't have time to talk. when we go to places to eat, we don't talk either, she calls her friends and talks forever. and when i don't have anyone to talk to, and i call my friends and talk for 15 mins. she yells at me for the bills. she always blames me for things that she does. she says that i'm stupid and that i don't love her. and the only thing that i care about is money. is spoils me to get rid of me. we never have quality time together. when she comes home from work (8:30pm) i ask if she wanted to go to the movies with me. she says no i'm to tried. HELP!

what could i do to make her care for me, and start talking to me?

Answer 1

To put it bluntly, you're mother is selfish, self-absorbed, and uncaring. Deep down I'm sure she does care and love you very much, but at this point she might be too concerned with meeting her own desires, making herself happy, and acting like an immature teenager to truly care for you. Let her read the question you have put on this site or write her a heartfelt letter. If she still doesn't respond well, then to be honest there isn't much you can do. Ever heard the saying "you can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves"? It's very true. Your mother then doesn't want to hear about any negativities you want to express to her and is only concerned for herself at this point. I would suggest trying to find different living arrangements. Where is your father at this point? If he is somewhat stable you could maybe consider living arrangements with him. If he's not in the picture or is somewhere else, acting as badly as your mother you could look into living arrangements with other, more loving relatives or even close friends if you happen to have any. If those aren't options for you, then I would start trying to save any money you can and get a job as soon as you're old enough. Then you could look into the possibility of getting emancipated. I know this is hard to believe or hear right now, but people that have hard lives early on often come out much better people than most as a result if they keep their heads on straight. Remember, I'm sure your mother does love you very deep down, but if she doesn't respond to your thoughts then right now being a mother to you isn't anywhere near her top priority, and that's not your fault. Everything will be fine for you eventually.

Answer 2

I kinda know how u feel. My mom doesnt say mean things to me though. The best thing u can do is if talking doesnt seem to help u can try writing her a letter telling her everything u said here and let her know how it bothers u and makes u feel. It just sounds like she maybe wasnt ready to have a child when she had u and still is not ready either that or she wants to hurry up and make u all a family and thats why she jumps right into relationships which could also go back to shes not ready and needs help and she thinks she should get it from the guys. But that still doesnt mean she can keep hurtin u so the best thing is to just let her know

Answer 3

Okay, I don't have all the answers, but I will suggest this to you. If
your Mom has an e-mail address, send a copy of what you've written here to "her." If she "doesn't have an e-mail address, get a copy of this yourself, and leave it somewhere where she'll see & read it. If she still doesn't respond like a "mother" should, find a
counsler who you can talk to about your feelings, and this person should have some sound advice for you. My Mother had a lot of children and didn't have "time" for any one of us, so I joined a YWCA and they have counslers there that really helped me out a lot. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but you do need to do something before you get any older, okay? Even if you have to join a church every where you move to, at least you'll be heard by "someone." Okay? Good luck.

Answer 4

No it is not approximately your being a teenaager , relatively that's some mom being stressful of this international and what ought to happen . She is terrified for you her daughter using fact she loves you . She looks to have a reason to be afraid for you . You suggested on the commencing up which you have been an adolescent with a wild social existence . That even frightens me . That wild social existence is why I completely trust your mom , She is conscious what ought to happen to you in case you nevertheless have a wild existence-type. won't be precisely what you wished to pay attention I in basic terms it helps you recognize why your mom feels the way she does stable good fortune and God bless

Answer 5

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You could write your mom a letter and explain how you feel. Or you could ask your school's counselor to help you talk to her. Tell her she is the only one you have and if she doesnt want to make it work with you as a mother/daughter relationship then she will never be able to have a working loving relationship.

Answer 6

I understand. My mom didnt cohabitate with other men, but she was very self-absorbed - much liuke the way you describe your mom. You can't make someone love you, and unfortunately your mom doesn't have to love you. She does, however, have the legal responsibility to provide for you. Maybe you have a guidance counselor or friends mom that you can talk to. There is a good chance that things are not going to change with your mom, and that sucks, so you need to create a support system for yourself. You need to ask for help - otherwise no one will know you need it. Finding a mentor or support from other adults is vital for your growth as a young lady. It will help ensure success for you. I sympathize and empathize, but dwelling isn't going to change anything - unfortunately. There are groups like big brothers big sisters...Good Luck - I hope you dont let your mother define who you are - create who you are - you can do it!

Answer 7

Is there a family member who can talk to her on your behalf or who can be present when you talk to her. Its not that your mom doesn't love you. Alot of times parents don't know how to be parents because they weren't parented to either. Was your mom young when she had you? You all need to get counseling and sort the issues out soon. I wouldn't want you to rebel and start acting out because of the relationship you all have or the lack thereof. If you have a teacher you can talk with then that may be an option as well. Good luck to you

Answer 8

Sounds like your mom was way too young when she had you. As well, never been on her own, and probably can't do it on her own. This is why she is always moving in w/whatever man will take her. Sit down, and discuss it with her. Ask her why she feels the need to do it this way. Express to her that YOU need her love, not all of these men coming in/out of your lives like the tides of the ocean. You did not ask to be born, she took that responsibility when she had unprotected sex.
She needs to grow up and live her life for the both of you...not the men...

Answer 9

Omg, she sounds like a not-so-good mother [not trying to insult u]. But write her a serious note telling her you seriously need to talk cuz it's upseting you and making u sad and depressed. Also tell her that its ruining ur life [just to add it in so she can listen]. Leave it on her forehead while she's sleeping or near her desk where u know where she'll see it and read it.

Tell her u need to talk badly and let her know u love her but its killing you inside. I'm sure she'll listen to ya. Also tell her how u feel and that every guy she dates is a jerk. Good luck :)

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I would let her read what you have just wrote. Even if she still "doesn't get it" it will make you feel better that you've expressed yourself. You are not asking for her to lie down and die..you are just asking for love...something you shouldn't have to ask for in the first place from your own mom. It sounds like she is taking out her frustrations in life out on you. It's not your fault she jumps from man to man...some women don't feel complete without a man by their side. It's always easy to blame someone else for your mistakes instead of facing reality. You are not stupid at all, you are smart enough to know to ask for help, and you are smart enough to know that how your Mom is behaving is wrong. She needs to take you in her arms and tell you she's sorry, and love you like you deserve to be loved. After all the answers come in, print your question and the answers out for her to read.