Staying strong??

Question

I have been hook up buddies with this guy for about 6 months now. I have stronger feelings for him then he has for me. I know it will never amount to anything. I have finally for the millionth time told him I am done being his "hook up buddy" but I have such a hard time stopping myself from going over there...any suggestions on how to finally stay strong.

I know that he thinks me saying this really isn't the end because I havent stayed strong in the past.


HELP!

Answer 1

It's a hard one as you have feelings for him too and then it can be hard to really break times. I know- I've been there too!

As you say you have to change your behaviour so that he knows you mean it this time. Being strong can seem tough and also then relies on will power and not giving in. Perhaps instead try putting the emphasis on you and looking after yourself and doing things you really enjoy for yourself. Therefore distracting yourself and making yourself genuinely unavailable instead of it seeming like a test of strength.

For somewhere else to turn for further distractions and moral support check out "Will He Call"- a site devoted to us girls when we need somewhere to go for moral support in our times of need including laughter and distractions. The members area is free and content is updated later this week so check it out. http://www.willhecall.com

Good luck and be kind and gentle with yourself- if you do go back again, don't beat yourself up, just change your strategy until it works and you don't want to go back x

Answer 2

I am not sure there is enough information on this issue because of the omitted reasons for splitting up if it was for a really good reason then you need to focus on that reason as to stay strong but if it wasn't and it was all petty stuff then both of you might be better just to work it out if there is real love there and no abuse type issues then why give it all up and remember neither you or him are perfect because no one is there is always plus and minus in all relationships so it's you who has to make the choice but rethink it all because if the reason was worth the split then be strong over it and if it wasn't worth it then work it out and stop ignoring what good things you think about because if it is meant to be and you both lose something special you might not ever find that person in someone else and it's sad to end up missing someone you love as life goes by the things that was wrong will seem less important to you and the things that was right will seem more important to you Good Luck either way if you really want to be strong focus on the bad part of it and find other things to fill the void that has been left in your heart.

Answer 3

there will come a time when you know you have to stop if it is hurting you. In the mean time you have to have some more respect for yourself and remember that the reason you feel this way is because you know deep down you deserve someone who will appreciate you. Try distracting yourself, flirt with other men and re-discover the fact that other men find you attractive and not just for the obvious. I know how hard it is, I think you have to realise that sometimes when you have feelings for someone they don't always feel the same and thats how it is. Enjoy every moment for what it is but at the same time try to slowly break away.
good luck

Answer 4

Omigosh, haven't we ALL been there before? It's a horrible spot to put yourself in, I've been there...might be there now...not sure. My best guess from past experiences is to just keep yourself too busy with friends and meeting NEW ppl to hang out with. Next time the "booty call" comes don't answer it! Keep doing this...don't even listen to the mess. delete it! NO contact! Pretend that person has moved to the other side of the earth and got MARRIED. Keep telling yourself this till you believe this person is unattainable. Meet new ppl. Spend time with your family. Go visit them if they live far away and take a break from your routine. If you can get out of your own routine you might win. Bottom line though, until you get something or someone to replace 'em you'll keep taking the calls. Too bad they don't sell a "booty patch" so we can wear it and curb the urge to say YES when they call. lol Good luck!

Answer 5

Make a list of things that u can do when u wanna go and see him. Maybe phone a friend, have a bath with candles, bubbles etc. Sounds like you dont have enough confidence to realise that you deserve better than this. Good luck, stay strong!
PS- i always find that doing housework keeps my mind off things!

Answer 6

Do what any self respecting gay boy would do... Put on Mariah Carey's "Shake It Off", sing it at the top of your lungs as you get ready, Make yourself look all pretty (and kinda slutty helps), Go to the club, and find you a new boy! Bonus points if he's there too and sees you leaving with said new boy. Guaranteed to have him running back in no time!

Answer 7

You need to get out and date other people and find one that makes you happy and not need a hook up buddy.

Answer 8

He isn't going to do it so you have to. The longer you wait the harder it gets.I am in this situation right now too but as long as she keeps showing up I'm going to keep doing it. I bet your guy feels the same as I do and doesn't really give a $hit about you.

Answer 9

hmmm...i think you dont have to convince us or him that you mean it...only yourself...once you are sure...it should be a lot easier...you are probably still feeling a little torn...

if you have done it countless times then he isnt going to believe you and to be honest you probably arent even sure if you'll actually do it yourself...instead of being so final...why dont you just tell him you want a break as you need to see if you feel that you really mean it...at least then you'll be being honest both with him and yourself...and you can take your time without feeling extra pressure....good luck with it...;0)

Answer 10

Stay strong. Tell him you have other plans or just don't answer the phone when he calls. You need to find another hobby as you know that this one isn't going to pan out.