I feel totally betrayed by him, he just now decided to admit he has cheated on me. And based on what he told me, he has never been completely faithful to me since we have been together. My feelings are all over the place. I dont want to be with him. But we have a 3 yr old child. What should i do? He says he wants to be with me and that he is in love with me. I dont think he knows what love is, because you dont treat people you love like that.
2007-01-22 07:11:46 · 27 answers · asked by Jackeeeee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Girl..I am sorry you had to experience this.You have every right to be pissed,hurt,crushed,angry,and confused..Count your blessings be glad that you found out before you married him because divorce is soo expensive.There is absolutely NO excuse for cheating.When somebody cheats that is the most disgraceful thing that you can do to somebody.It is dishonest,disrepectful,deceptive and just pure wrong.If he has cheated on you he does not love you.And he will do it again.He is going to give you a sob story and tell you how much he loves you and he will promise you the world and guess what it is all more lies.DON'T believe him.Trust is everything in a relationship/marriage if you do not have trust you don't have anything.The question you have to ask yourself is will you ever trust him again(probably not).So why torture yourself move on you deserve better and so does your child.The worst mistakes that parents make is staying in a relatinship because they have children together.Staying together because you have a child is wrong for several reasons the most important reason is beacuse the child pay's the ultimate price in the end.I am sure you want to raise your child with the proper morals & values and a cheating parent is no roll-model.Why subject your child to an unhappy upbringing in a home with parents that clearly don't belong together.Your ex fiance has no respect for you. If he did he would never have cheated.You & your child deserve so much better.You need to leave this joker and make sure he pay's child support and fullfills his obligations.You will meet a man that will truely love and respect both you and your child.I understand that change is very scary but you can do it.I was once in your situation and now I am happy and married to a wonderful man.Don't ever allow anyone to disrepect you like that you need to tell him your done and the only thing you expect from him is child support and he need's to still be a father to your child.The road ahead will be a little rocky for you but in time you will smooth it out.Good luck to you and your child..Do the right thing and move on..
2007-01-22 07:36:40 · answer #1 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah u know the basics. No if he loved u, you wouldnt think he would treat u like that but it probably was all a game...not his love for u but the cheating. If he was never faithful to start with he was probably cheating just to see if he could get away with it. Men are never really ready to settle down i dont think. I think they do so cause u fit their lives at the time and they dont wanna lose u. 7 yrs is a long time to have been with someone and find this out and you cant just let that go. If u decided to give him another chance i would not think it was a bad idea...I would however make him work his *** off for another chance though. U do have to consider the fact u have a child with hime but he has to consider it also. So if u decide to give him another chance I would not make that obvious to him. Let him think he is gonna lose u just to see if his intentions are good and he is really trying
2007-01-22 07:26:32 · answer #2 · answered by JAY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope; you shouldn't go back to him. He's cheated on you etc...and even if you have a child together; that's not a valid reason to get back together. He's violated trust issues which really can't be fixed whole heartedly. I understand that your feelings are all over the place because you thought what was happening was right and now you find out it was a lie. I would say to continue being the parent of course, but continue to move on with your life. You'd be suprised who you'll meet! I broke up with my fiance last year of five months because I realized he was in it for the wrong reasons. I've never looked back and felt like a million bucks when it was over =) !Good luck! Let me know!
2007-01-22 07:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand what you're talking about. If he really loved you, then he never would have cheated in the first place. An old saying is "once a cheater, always a cheater". In my opinion......you need to find someone else who'll treat you like a lady.....someone you don't need to worry about getting a sexually transmitted disease from. To me, it's better to be single and lonely, than to be married and miserable. As far as your 3 year old........time for him to start paying child support and put the 3 year old on some health insurance. If he refuses......then he's useless...and it'll be a good thing that you leave him. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-22 07:21:03 · answer #4 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jackeeeee,
Well, normally this would be the old "GIVE HIM THE BOOT" speech.. However, you say "he decided to admit it"???
This implies that he didn't get caught, but rather felt some guilt and decided he had to come clean to move forward with a clear conscious... If that's the case, he knew he was taking a big chance on loosing your love... Again, if this is the case, I would cool off, calm down, and listen to what he has to say...
- If in fact, he has been cheating with a number of different girls then I would say it's in his character to cheat and I would not recommend staying with him... regardless of what he says today..
- A really tough decision for you.. good luck.
2007-01-22 07:22:03 · answer #5 · answered by gjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is not any way that you 2 can end a relationship of seven years and nonetheless be associates. that is a bogus line rather typically utilized through the guy who's doing the breaking as a lot as by some ability attempt to buffer the split. breaking apart with someone is poor. yet what's more suitable poor is being the only it really is being damaged up with. in case you truly do no longer love the guy anymore in a way that you're going to experience fulfilled and chuffed you owe it to your self to end it and locate somebody else. although, you may ought to smash a persons'' heart and doing it particularly is very not person-friendly. no human being needs to experience like a schmuck, yet you may't stay with someone out of guilt. and also you may't be associates. What would you 2 discuss??...your new companions? it is going to reason him no longer something yet discomfort as you flow on with your existence and he's stuck in a memory and clinging to each and each piece of interest you supply him as wish that you 2 receives lower back mutually. there is no longer something worse than throwing him a bone because you do not have the braveness to assert..."i'm sorry, even though it is over. i don't experience a similar way. i understand it is totally painful and that i understand you adore me yet i do not want this relationship anymore." Be as form as you may yet do not deliver mixed alerts. practice your self for the drama and his discomfort. It isn't person-friendly.
2016-10-15 22:56:33 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't know what love is. He wants the best of both worlds. The security of knowing you are always gonna be there, and the thrill of cheating on you and being unfaithful, it all keeps him going. Get rid of him.You can do bad by yourself, You don't need him. The child will be ok I promise. Take his *** to court, get you some child support, and he can have visitation rights.
2007-01-22 07:16:38 · answer #7 · answered by precious 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard for anyone to tell you what to do. Obviously he didn't take your commitment very seriously and it didn't mean much to him. He didn't just cheat on you, he also cheated on your son. Personally I don't think I could ever trust being in a relationship with him again. It doesn't mean he can't keep and active role in his son's life. Good luck.
2007-01-22 07:16:17 · answer #8 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you girl. This decision is up to you tho. You need to be honest with yourself. If you feel as tho you will never be able to trust him again and you are going to bring it up in every argument that he cheated on you...you might as well just move on. But if you think you will be able to forgive and forget then by all means stay together. But it's up to you.
2007-01-22 07:17:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow!how could he?thats soo messed up!leave him okay.its gonna seem sooo hard but you'll be better once u leave him.Once a cheater always a cheater.u can do soo much better.let him go, you dont need him,all u need is your baby and u have the world.just move on forget him,dont love him back.i kno exactly how u feel
2007-01-22 07:21:22 · answer #10 · answered by 4.0 Chick :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋