Do You Think the Parent-Child Relationship Should Be More Intimate in Western Countries??

Question

In most western countries, intimate touching between parent and child usually is frowned upon by society with the exception of breast-feeding.

However, in some cultures, intimacy between parents and child are very profound and even at a level we would consider sexual. For example, in some countries mothers regularly stimulate their male infants' genitals. Much closer intimacy between parent and child is observed well into the child's adulthood, though never reaching the level of incest/intercourse etc.

Psychologist suggest that such intimacy between parent and child fosters a much healthier and stronger bond between child and parent which often last a lifetime. They say this results in less violent behavior, overall healthier sexual lifestyles, and a more balanced mental state for the young adult.

Very little research has been done on this subject in the US because scientists fear a certain stigma.

We have one of the world most sexually dysfunctional societies.

Wow, I am really astonished at the responses. Well, I guess, not really, since this website is not really a mecca for educated people.

But to address some of the more reasonable responses.... this country has one of the world's highest rates of sexual crimes and child molestation rates in the world (child molestations involving actual intercourse with children), so I would like to question those who responded with suggesting those other countries are sick to answer why our society is "the sickest" in the world?

Furthermore, I guess it would be useless for me to introduce, 100 years later once again, the concept of Freudian thinking...

First of all, Ms. Bayley, this are not "my" ideas. This is based on extensive international research, and Freud is also not my last name.

Secondly, educated people should and probably will not embrace child molestation, but educated people will likely give me educated responses, not attacking me personally for bringing up an issue they may not feel 100% comfortable about.

And lastly, you still didn't answer my question as to why we as a society, who are so taboo about any sort of sexuality, have one of the highest rates of rape, child abuse and other sexual crimes?? You and the majority of other respondents obviously missed the very core of my question, because you were too busy pretending to make yourself look "better" that you missed the very concept of this topic.


Here is some more info for those who are interested and can handle it:

http://www2.rz.hu-berlin.de/sexology/GESUND/ARCHIV/IES/BEGIN.HTM#CONTENTS

Saphire,

Hello?? Where do think all of these child molestors come from in this country?? Could it be because you all are fostering them with your suppressive attitudes??

PS - I think its laughable how some of the respondents are suggesting I have been abused or I am an abuser for posting this question.

May God help us all! LOL!!!

Answer 1

While I agree that we have a very sexually dysfunctional society, I can not see that intimacy between mother and child on the level of your example as acceptable here. I do believe that we need closer relationships with our children, but not a physical level. I have to wonder if the research that says these kids are better adjusted to sexuality is because of more time spent with the children and a more open channel for talk of sex and understanding of sex.

Answer 2

I find it interesting that since people here aren't backing up your ideas that stimulating an infant's genitals is "normal" you decide that this is because this isn't a "mecca" for educated people? So more "educated" people would embrace child molestation? And yes, that is exactly what you have described by stimulating a baby's genitals. In this country that would be sexual abuse/child molestation.

Answer 3

I think our country is sexually dysfunctional because of the child molesters. Our scientist have done studies on adults that were molested as children and found them to have mental problems because of it, and not just the people that experienced incest/intercourse. Further more people that were molested as children tend to molest their children or other peoples children therefore starting a cycle. I also think drugs and alcohol play a role in this and just because some one has an opinion that you don't like does not mean that they are uneducated.

Answer 4

That a really tough question. However stimulating a childs genitals is a bit extreme and I think could be a way for sexual predators to continue with their pervesions. I really dont think sexual contact between a child and their parent is necessary to build a healthy sense of self, the ability to make decisions about their sexual behavior and helping a balanced mental state. It just seems wrong to me.

Answer 5

Well I can only respond by saying that the mother of the Green River Killer, who murdered many more than 40 women in his lifetime, regularly washed and handled his genitals, even when he was a teenager. And just look at how he turned out!

If you are the victim of sexual abuse, I feel sorry for you. If you are trying to rationalize your own behavior, such as the sexual victimization of children, then please don't kid yourself about how much damage, pain, suffering, and lifelong damage you are causing your innocent victims.

Answer 6

i did not read others comments.i do not agree with genital stimulation of a child.that being said i do agree we are an emotionaly constipated society.we are one of a very few countries who ween our children before the age of 3-5 and also keep our children in their own beds seperating them at to early of an age.people also do not alow the child to explore their own body,which is a normal thing to do.instead babies are told no dont touch dirty.that sends quite a message to these infants that the human body is a gross and dirty thing.of course we dont want ourchildren doing this in front of strangers because there are pedefiles out there who prey in the innocence of children and the love they have of themselves.we have to be more open sexualy with our kids teach them what is proper and what is not.most parents shy away from the topic because they are embarresed.i hope this helps.i am sure people are going to disagree with me so again i am making it clear i do not agree with the stimulation of any childs genitals,that i feel goes way beyond being more open with our kids,nursing them longer,or letting them sleep in our beds until they are 6.which those last three things yes i do think parents need to alow a little leeway for.

Answer 7

First of all I'm not going to go into my level of education with you - nor what I do for a living.... because you would simply discount it, as you have every other idea that differs with your own.

But I would like to relate my personal experiences for you - and you can take it as you will.

Years ago, I fell in love with a man and we married - his 2nd, and my first marriage. After we were married, I met his mother, who one day told me that she stimulated her 2 sons genitals because of her *cultural beliefs*.
I was shocked, to say the least, but since it hadn't seemed to affect my husband, and they were her own cultural beliefs, I put it out of mind.
During the first 6 months of our marriage, I found my husband in the barn, engaging in acts with our cows .... and do you know what his reasoning was?
Well, he had learned to enjoy the stimulation that he had gotten from his mother- which started in babyhood and continued until he was 12 or so - and at least it wasn't "cheating" on me !!
I found out later, that he had molested his 4 sons by an earlier marriage by sexually stimulating their genitals - because it was *the norm* and a "proper" upbringing, as far as he was concerned.
He's now in prison....where he belongs. And his 4 sons have nothing to do with him.

Answer 8

I taught my two year old that she was able to get her OWN drink of water from the kitchen faucet, instead of me getting up again, for what would have been the hundredth time today. She thought that was pretty cool. Our small galley kitchen faces the dining room, and she can climb onto a chair (without even having to move it from its usual place at the table).

Answer 9

That is disgusting. As a parent, your story turns my stomache. It also offends my sensibilities, sense I am rather learned and know of no culture where this is acceptable behavior. It is more likely rhetoric from an organization of pedophile sickos like MBLA. Parents are to protect and shelter, not molest. I am most concerned about why you are entertaining these ideas. I have a grave concern that you might have children. I pray this is not and will never be the case.

Answer 10

DUDE

"regularly stimulate their male infants' genitals."

THAT IS INCEST.

Yeah, an incestual bond.

You think that regularly stimulate their male infants' genitals. isn't DYSFUNCTIONAL?