I recently left my ex and now he doesn't want anything to do with my son, my son asks about him quite a bit and all I can think of to say is "Daddy's at work" what am I supposed to be saying?
2007-01-22 06:50:48 · 13 answers · asked by very_proud_mommy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Ouch, how hard is this? I am so very sorry you are in this situation. Is there a support group for kids of divorced parents you can take him to? You may want to tell him something about Daddy not living with you anymore, that Daddy had to go to his own house and that you are going to take care of him for a while. Perhaps the boys father will come around later, the jerk, and actually be involved again. He may just be angry right now, but geesh that is no excuse. Talk with your son's pediatrician, they will have a better idea of how to handle this. I hope you get some good answers, keep up with being an amazing mommy to him.
2007-01-22 06:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by medicpaige 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa:
He has a Father, he will always have a Father. Talk about your day as it happens, when he ask where is daddy? Make a simple remark like, Yeah, Dad does not leave here any more. You miss him a lot, huh. Do you want to look at picures of daddy?
The other point is the man has no choice, he has to pay child support. When the payment arrives, tell your son. Dad sent money to help Mommy buy food, clothing, toys etc.
He will old enough soon to understand, he will meet other children in the same situation. He will adjust. But if you say negative things about his dad,;when he realized he is half his dad, he will think half of him is bad too.
Been there done that. My heart goes out to both of you. I raised a child who was left at daycare by her parent. She never seen them again. Life sure is tough for these kids. I always told her " I don't know why your Mom and Dad left. I know when I was around your family they loved you. She is now seventeen, and is a beautiful child. She want to locate her parents when she is older, and I support her completely.
2007-01-25 20:34:03 · answer #2 · answered by itchianna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what your going through because i went through the same thing. My ex always came to see my son, the last time he came to see him was 3 yrs ago on his 3rd birthday. My son at three years old asked me why don't my daddy come see me am i bad? He has asked me why don't i have a daddy? I tell him its not you Its your daddy, he isn't any good because he wont come see you. I tell him about his dad and my son knows where he lives. Sometimes he tells me i don't have a dad because hes dead! I tell him that's not true but in his mind i think its easier for him to think of his dad being dead than to face the Truth. I'm sorry if this doesn't help but i thought it might be easier knowing your not alone. I don't think anything you tell him is going to be easy but if you don't want him thinking you kept his real dad from him then i would tell him the truth. I forgot to say that if you don't want your son to keep getting hurt i wouldn't let his daddy come in and out of his life. I hope this helps.
2007-01-22 15:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by saphire732003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont ever tell your 3 year old that he doesnt have a daddy anymore, thats just not the truth. He will always have a daddy, even if your ex wants nothing to do with him, he still has a daddy. Next we went through this with my oldest step son when he was 3 and hes now 8. His mom up and left him and we havent heard from her in 5 years now. He doesnt talk about her much but once in awhile he does. 3 year old's dont understand alot about life and you need to keep your answer simple. They will settle with something simple. We told our son that his mom was sick in the head and needed some help from a dr. ( a child phycologist told us thats what we should tell him) so we told him that and he let it be at that. Never asked much after that. Hes still to this day believes his mom was just sick and didnt know what she was doing. But he knows im not his birth mom. I think you need to keep it simple with your son and just tell him that his daddy is going through a few problems and hopefully when they are fixed things will be better. And dont pressure your ex to be a daddy. Try to involve him in things, birthday parties, things like that. Make sure he knows how much his son misses and loves him and talks about him. Hope he opens up his eyes. Goodluck huni
2007-01-22 14:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all he is so wrong for taking the breakup with you out on your son when your son did nothing worng. I think after a while your son will get the picture about daddy because kids are not dumb. Take him to court for child support and they will tell him he has to see the child every other weekend so that way your son will still have a father figure.
2007-01-22 15:09:54 · answer #5 · answered by shashana2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is really important to be truthful even at a young age...
He need to know first that you love him and that you will always love him... I would personally tell him that his daddy just can't be here right now, but that he love you in his own special way... Have your son draw pictures about how he feels, and give him ethe opportunity to talk. If he was very close to his dad you might want to take him to a counselor once or twice to help him through the transition. Sometimes it's nice not to have to answer all the hard questions yourself...
Much luck to you. Stay strong
2007-01-22 15:05:38 · answer #6 · answered by luv2syd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
say little at a time. start off with daddy had to go away for a while then as your son gets older gradually go into the reasons. by the time he's five he'll forget about the questions (not all together) but there will be less. and don't worry, it's going to be alright. been there done that
2007-01-22 14:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by sexie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is your baby's dad, that is a shame. I would explain only what he needs to know right now. Be honest, caring and understanding. He only needs to know that he may not see daddy for a long time. He doesn't need to know if it is a permanent situation. Your ex could change his mind and that would leave you in a situation. Keep it short, sweet and to the point. And end with plenty of hugs. Also, be prepared to have to say it a couple of times. He could very well question the situation until he comes to terms with it.
2007-01-22 14:57:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him that daddy is gone for a while and then by the time he gets older you can tell him that you and him live in a different house and he doesn't want to see him anymore. Then by the time he is old enough you can tell him that his daddy doesn't want to see him anymore and that his father is a jerk and he doesn't need him he has you and you love him with all your heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-22 15:39:50 · answer #9 · answered by baby_ems_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you are ready to tell your son different things that may or may not be true make sure you are physical and emotionally ready to explain the situtation and stick to it. At 3 years of age sometimes they may not remember very much only what is drilled in their heads. So if you want him to know the truth that is fine. Just reassure your 3 year old that everything is going to be ok and you love them with all your heart. Tell them that every day.
2007-01-22 15:16:25 · answer #10 · answered by kellia1234 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋