Is it taught anymore that staring is rude?

Question

When I was young I was slapped on the arm by my parent when I stared at this strange man sitting on the steps. I stared at him because he was strange looking. This is how I was taught that staring longer than you should is very rude.

Now here is my question...were you taught that it's rude to stare at people?

I am asking because whenever a disfigured (or something out of the ordinary) person comes into my view I do anything BUT stare because I want to treat them like a normal person...not to mention that it must make them feel bad when people stare....right?! THEN WHY DOES everybody else around me do. :( It's so mean. It makes me question if people are taught this at all?....

If somebody is a little different I don't ignore them either. It's not like everybody in the world is perfect, so it's no big deal to me to see someone who look out of the ordinary...but for some people they just stare at somebody different and they don't let up. It's mean. And I hate that...

Answer 1

Use the three seconds rule.

Answer 2

I was when I was very little. Fortunately, my city has very respectful and kind people in it. You can't help what people do, maybe they are not even starring but thinking about something. People are curious. It's like you know when there 's an accident on the freeway, the traffic becomes bad, and then later you find out it's on the other side of the road. Stuff happens like that sometimes so I would just forget about it. At least you don't have a problem with it like some people on this site. This 19 year old (hard to believe she was 19) was complaining about how this creepy man kept starring at her and what she should do. I told her to ignore him and that she was weird. You know what she did? She reports me and I get a violation for insulting other participants. I and this other guy's answers got deleted. Anyhoo, I say just buck up and grow up if you do have a problem. Anyone mature knows that staring IS rude, but that they can't also control the other person.

Answer 3

A very thought-provoking question!

It is difficult to say when a glance becomes a stare.
And various cultures react in different ways to people who look at them for any degree of time or directly (eye-to-eye contact).

I never gave it much thought until the time I had a full leg cast (from a ski accident) and noticed how people stared at me.
It bothered me a lot, during the time I had it on.

After it was removed, it became clear that humans are voyeurs...we have a need to look, to see and to stare at other people for whatever reason.

We gaze, peek, look and stare at people we find: attractive, ugly, tall, short, fat, skinny, famous, young, old, disfigured and shapely.

It's what we do.

So, when is it considered impolite and how do we get the message across to others that we do or do not want their visual interest in us?
Are there etiquette guidelines?

The best answer I can offer is that if YOU are the person receiving unwanted stares, is that you have two choices:

1. politely ask the person if there is something wrong?
This puts them on the defensive and they will have to explain why they were staring...who knows, you might have a loose thread on your clothes.

2. ignore the stare, turn your back on them and move on.
Essentially, you are silently telling the person that they are not worth acknowledging as another human.

Answer 4

I was taught not to stare... but as I got older I did the same thing you did, notice that that rule is no longer in effect. It is rude to stare, but some people just don't care, I think that's what's wrong with the world today really, people just flat out don't care, they be rude if they want to be rude. Now if it was someone staring at them they would feel the same way as the other person would feel if they would be staring at someone... I just hate it personally

Answer 5

When I notice people staring at me -I go barefoot year round, sometimes I wear bells in my hair- I just wave at them... but most of the time I don't even notice. It doesn't really bother me, but then it is my own choice to dress differently. I don't do it to get attention -I do it 'cause it's comfortable and pleasant- but I don't care what other people think either. However someone who's disfigured doesn't have a choice, they may be a very shy person who hates being looked at, so I don't think it's okay for people to stare just 'cause it doesn't bother me personally.

Often times parents do call children to order but the ones who stare most & comment are usually teenagers in groups... when they're alone they don't do it as much but when there's a group of them they feel like it's far more important to live up to what the others think about them, than what their parents or teachers would say (who aren't there at that time anyhow). So they'll stare, comment, point, laugh... because they think that's what is expected of them. When they're alone, they're often curious asking polite questions or even say it's cool that I dare to be different, but when they're in a group they feel they have to be belligerent to 'belong'.

Answer 6

Many traditional manners are now considered politically incorrect. Saying "Ma'am to a woman has landed people in court, commenting positively about how a woman looks has lost men jobs, and although our culture does not condone staring, we have to accomodate cultures such as the Chinese who routinely stare. Hold a door open for some women today and you might be opening the door to being accused of demeaning them. Some words that are positive in some cultures can be and are twisted into negative meanings in other ethnic groups for the personal gain of the "victim".
To answer your question, Yes, I was taught it is rude to stare when I was young. The rules have changed though. Now, instead of a set of manners, we pretty much have a minefield of ignorance and intolerance in the name of social progress to duck and weave through.

Answer 7

society has changed so much over the years. Everyone wants to be more liberal then the last. Manners are pressed by some but for the most part I would say no. Today if you were slapped on the arm outside, you would probably have the police called on you. here are a few more items that have been lost.

Chewing with you mouth closed. Look at kids in the restaurants.
Saying please and thank you.
Holding a door open.
Assisting the elderly. I will fear for my life when I am in my
60s or 70s the way they get ran over today.
Saying excuse me when trying to get through an isle way.

Thank you for asking!

Answer 8

Kids actually mimic what they observe. They observe their parents staring at things like car accidents, personal conflicts, strange occurances, etc. Parents know that its wrong but they will do it anyway as long as they think that nobody is watching them. When I was growing up I would get slapped for staring at people too. They would see me do it and think about how rude it was but they never realized that when they were doing it I was watching them.

Being that so many parents fail to dicipline their kids these days that they do not teach their kids that its rude.

As a side note, I was at a fast food resturant where there was a family beside me staring at me and my coworker as we sat and ate. Apparently they had never seen black people before so we attempted to politely ignore them at first but as it went on I took a big bite of my burger, chewed it up, took a sip of my soda and I opened my mouth and let all of the chewed up food and soda ooze out. Needless to say that they were discusted by my antics and the mother told me that I was being very disrespectful to her children. I figured that if they wanted something to look at, I would give them plenty.

Answer 9

Most people are taught that it is rude to stare or they know it is rude but unfortunately respect for others is becoming a thing of the past.

Answer 10

Its doubtful that when you were young, you stared for hours at a television or video game screen as children do today. Under these circumstances, it is perfectly acceptable for kids to stare. Kids aren't to be blamed for their atrocious manners or severe lack of them. It's the parents who need to be spanked for ignoring one of the most basic fundamentals of a child's education. If children were taught manners in the home, then there would not be such disrespect on the streets or in the schools and workplace.

Answer 11

using fact no one desires to regulate their brats at the instant! mutually as i do no longer help the previous school theory that "young little ones could be seen, and not heard", i do no longer think that little ones could be waiting to trump an adults top to take a seat down back in public. in case you does no longer could tolerate the harassment from an person, I dont see why all and sundry is in basic terms meant to make allowances for little ones. we are residing in a society the place there are policies, and the quicker a discern accustoms their toddler to those policies, the quicker we can be waiting to visual show unit a action picture at a theater and pass to a eating place, without wretches screaming and bobbing up chaos with their bratty techniques.