My brother-in-law is getting married. The bride and I don't really get along, that is putting it mildly. His bride to be has made several comments to let me know that she is only tollerating me and my kids being at the wedding. She has made comments that all the Siblings and spouses are in the wedding party. ( I am not) She has says that the only way to be able to tollerate me is if she is drinking. She has even called my son who is mentally retarded a retard that is going to ruin her day. My brother in law and I have always had an extremly close relationship, but now when we talk it is strained. Most of the family including my brother in law have heard her make these comments. Usually he laughs and tries to blow them off as jokes or finds a way to take her aside and talk to her. Then he's the one that usually appoligizes to me. At this point my husband and I are thinking about not going. This war has been going on for 5 yrs. how do I make it stop and keep peace in the family
2007-01-22 06:21:10 · 16 answers · asked by 3Xmom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Make it stop.... good luck! This is what I tell my children when there are people who are mean to them. I too myself have a sister-in-law who is rather a pain. People like her feel really bad about themselves. They have to make fun of or they have to put other people down to make them selves feel better. Go to the wedding, it;s your husbands brother. He wants your family there to share this moment with him. Just acknowledge the source. She must have had a bad life and cannot feel good about herself. Don't listen to her. She is not important in your life. She is just the wife of your brother-in-law. That is all. About her calling your handicapped son a name. Perhaps next time you should kindly tell her that you pray to God that she is never blessed with a special needs child, because only special people deserve to have their life enhanced with that of a child as special as yours. Other than that, understand that you are a better person because you don't need to cut her down to better yourself. Good Luck
2007-01-22 06:57:01 · answer #1 · answered by Jackie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband so go, leave the kids with a babysitter. Leave early. This way you and your husband will not hear how you did not go to the wedding. Taking the high road is better at times. The bride to be may think she won. She did not, you are protecting you son, and showing up for your brother in law.
You can write the Dr Phil show, he loves story like this. Make your sister in law look like a idiot on TV
I have a special need daughter, I try to keep her away from people like that for her sake.
2007-01-22 06:35:33 · answer #2 · answered by Halo Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kill her with kindness. Seriously. Bend over backwards to be as nice to her as you know how. Avoid all conflicts, even if you have to smile and walk out. Let her say and do all the mean things she wants to.....it will only put HER in a bad light. And she's not building real good Karma, here either. Definitely GO to the wedding. You will be going in support of your brother-in-law, not her, but that doesn't have to be made obvious. Take the high road here. Do Not allow her to bring you down to her level.
2007-01-22 06:31:20 · answer #3 · answered by kj 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a sister in law with about the same amount of class as yours and I stay as far away from her as I possibly can. I agree with everyone else that has responded to your question. Don't go!! The heck with her if she feels that way about you and your children. She doesn't deserve the presence of you and your family at her wedding. I know the feeling about wanting to keep the peace in the family but sometimes people like her make that almost impossible. It's too bad that something in her life makes her that unhappy and she feels like she has to make others feel as terrible as she does.
2007-01-22 06:38:52 · answer #4 · answered by mlhoracek7205 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say don't go to their wedding. This person is not worth getting upset over. I have the same problems in my family and used to let it get to me. My husband kept reminding me that the only people I should worry about is my imediate family as in my husband and children and don't let them get to me. It is hard hearing these people that are family talk down to you but if you just ignore it and stay away from as much as you can she or at least brother-in-law will get the hint that it is not being put up with anymore.
2007-01-22 06:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by JM 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is not your problem, it's HERS! She sounds like a real piece of work. The fact that she needs to drink to tolerate anything is a real clue here as to her character. Why would you worry about not offending someone like that! (Sorry, but I'd have to wonder what your brother in law sees in this witch)
If you really are worried about keeping peace and still attending the wedding, get a sitter for the day and enjoy the "date" with your hubby.
People like her infuriate me. We've all got one in our life ;-)
2007-01-22 06:29:28 · answer #6 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does she not like you? If you have no clue But I am sure you do,Sit her Down and have a good straight forward talk to her.I can't believe that as close as you and your Brother in law are that he would tolerate this.If it comes down to it I guess you have to make a choice,swallow your Pride and got to the wedding or stay home.I would not tolerate at all the rude comments she makes about your son.Don't back down stand up for your self.Good Luck
2007-01-22 06:28:59 · answer #7 · answered by Dew 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through the same stuff. I would say to just keep these people away. Honestly it may seem harsh but the only family you should be concerned about is YOUR family, which is husband and kids anyone else is not that important, trust me I know.
2007-01-22 06:27:23 · answer #8 · answered by ~V~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay home. You are not required to make nice with someone you find repulsive and abusive, especially family members. Send them a fitting gift(no need to go overboard) and a card saying you simply couldn't make it due to demands from other areas and wish them luck. Sounds to me like they'll need it! Save yourself(and apparently them) a lot of unnecessary grief; and, If anybody asks why you weren't there, be calm and tell them exactly why you didn't feel welcome. Let her be the butt of the ridicule...
2007-01-22 06:27:37 · answer #9 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow I can't realize why the brother in law hasn't done more. If she can't respect his family then why are they getting married to begin with. Family is family on the other hand. You should as the brother in law how he feels about you not going. Don't go for her do it for him
2007-01-22 08:01:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋