My wife and i have adopted a wonderful 4 year old girl and will be adopting her in the near future. We have one couple who have really been our closest friends through thick and thin. We always had asked their advice on how to handle things about parenting etc. Although we could see that they had little or no control over their own 4 year old girl ,we thought they still might have some good info to share. My wife is a 5th grade teacher and although we have never had kids our outlook was good and we had plans on how we would handle discipline etc. When it came down to the families getting together it became quite clear that we'd be using things like "time-outs" etc. while they did nothing to stop their daughters bad behavior. They have since become very distant and I almost feel like they dont want to be with us because it shows them what they are NOT doing to keep their daughter in check. I cant help but feel they think "we know it all" etc. is this common ?????
2007-01-22 05:57:24 · 7 answers · asked by MARLEY 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
They are noticing what they are doing wrong, and in fear of truely realizing it they are choosing to not spent time with you so they don't have to see their wrong doings. Yes it is common in people who don't want step up and change.
2007-01-22 06:03:56 · answer #1 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They could be feeling bad about not correcting their childs bad behavior and maybe worry that you guys are judging them. I think the best thing to do is ask them why you guys arent getting together as much, if you dont talk it out you cant resolve the problem. If they have no reason and continue to not get together with you then find some new friends.
2007-01-22 06:59:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not unusual for that to happen when you have completely different parenting styles. I, for instance, am very uncomfortable around people who have very rigid parenting styles, because ours is fairly relaxed. If they feel uncomfortable, either because they think your style is wrong or they think it's better than theirs, but they aren't going to change, then that's their prerogative. If you want to keep the parents as friends, perhaps you can have adult-only get togethers. If you want the girls to be friends, then maybe they need to get together where there's only one set of parents to set rules, etc. It's easier for kids to get along with one set of rules for the day, versus one kid getting punished for something that the other child does not.
2007-01-22 06:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by someone's mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think this is common. I am sorry they are acting this way.. it sounds they arent great friend material. However, maybe its all a big misunderstanding.. you should confront them about it.. tell them you have the feeling that they are pulling away from you and you were wondering why.
Good luck and congrats on adopting!!
2007-01-22 06:02:36 · answer #4 · answered by Jenni C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it is common but have you tried bring it up to them, try explaining it to them the way you did here,and if they are really good friend they will have am open mind and maybe you can talk it out. if their daughter is out of control, they may see how well behaved your is and will want your tips.
2007-01-22 06:11:24 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very common.. people dont like how you are raising your kids, do what you think is best for them, and forget about your friends, your kids will be better off in the long run.
2007-01-22 06:07:06 · answer #6 · answered by meg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
accept it ........what is more important your child or your friends? I have parented very well and have two wonderful older children...but I was shunned and critized as I raised them...OH WELL
2007-01-22 06:02:25 · answer #7 · answered by cherry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋