I want to leave my GF whom i love so much ---- Request to help?

Question

Me & my GF are going for quite a long time but the thing is now i wana leave my GF.
Wana leave her coz she seems to be having problems with me getting physical (Not talking abt sex).
She doesnt react properly when she gets close, while kissing etc.. i can clearly see tht she is not comfortable in getting physical contact with me.
Rest, she is good & caring and most of all i really luv her.

But, i think is physical closeness is equally important & i am sure i can never get this from her.
So shall i leave her & save ourselves from future hurt?

Talked with her abt issue - No use. Also, given lot of time 2her 2 adjust - No use

She also dont have any past probs or anything tht sort of.....

Answer 1

There's an old question Ann Landers used to ask--is your life better with her or without her? If you love her and want to be with her, find a way to live with it.

I have the same problem, except I'm in your girlfriend's situation. I love my husband, but I just can't get interested. I have diabetes, and I'm on several medicines, all of which cause me to lose interest, but I never had much to start with. He gets frustrated with me, but at the same time, he tells me he didn't fall in love with a vagina.

Be careful how you approach it, too. If you're too clingy, or talk about it too much, she may feel like you think she HAS to perform, which will make her even more uncomfortable, and less receptive. Instead, do things together like snuggle up on the couch, and other things which make you close. Who knows what might develop?

Answer 2

I can understand where you are coming from, however, you say you love this girl? Then surely you can think of a way around this! Some girls can be funny about "physical closeness", not because they have had a bad time of it before, of doesn't love you, maybe something simple, like she might feel insecure with her own body!
You say you have given her a chance to adjust, maybe you should take some time yourself and see if you can adjust, maybe she realises how much pressure you put on the "physical" side of things and feels intemidated!
I think you need to speak to her again, and maybe if you still find this a issue, maybe you dont really love her, becuase love is accepting each other as they are, not trying to change them.
G l

Answer 3

Maybe you should tell her what you think about this situation, if you find it hard talking to her maybe writing it down might help. If she realises that this upsets you or is a problem for you then maybe she might decide to talk to you about it. I know you said that you've tried talking to her about it and it didn't work but maybe you should try again, tell her you love her but you're worried about the fact she doesn't like physical contact with you. It could be that she has been hurt in the past and doesn't want to let her guard down now. I really think you should try and communicate with her again on this instead of just leaving her. If you love her as much as you say you do then you should stick with her and try and work it out. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I my self have a little problem with touch, you have to start small, like holding hands, little rub on the head, don't go in for the kill, even a hug seems too much sometimes. everyone have personal boundaries maybe she has a little bigger boundary than others I’m not telling to break her down but not only give her time but also let her know that you understand why she is the way she is. You can choose to understand and leave her or choose to accept her the way she is. You say you love her.... give her more time then check what happens that is what you do when you love someone... patience

Answer 5

You have good senses. Growing apart physically can be a sensory indication to you there is an emotional strain within your GF. Some people call it a sixth sense, or a gut feeling. Guy's can possess this feeling as well as girls. There is an aged expression which exsist and might be good to recall: : "If you love something set it free, if it comes back it is yours, if it does not come back it never was". It is very respectul and mature of you to separate in such a friendly way.

Answer 6

Whats up bro-

I know you must be hurting and wondering what is going on?
let me just start by saying that if you truly love, leaving her should not be an option, at least not at this point!. There may be other reasons why she is not intimate with you. try to Understand her and listen to her. maybe there are things on her mind or from her past or childhood. Sit down with her and let her know that you really care about her. let her know how much she means to you and that you are there for her no matter what. It sounds like sex isthe only thing that is really lacking?....... you can find that at any bar.
Find or create a safe zone for you two. Let her know that you love her just as she is...... and that making love is something that you want to share with here. Find out what else is going on, have you look at yourself as much as possible? it is so easy to blame the other person. what are you giving or have not giving. It takes two to be happy. the fires must burn from both ends! whats the hurry?,

Good luck
if you really love her, leaving her for a new one is not the answer. She is a person with feelings, not a machine.........................remeber thatyou will take your problems with you........

Answer 7

if you really love her you will try again to talk 2 her about this situation. I do agree with you about intimacy being an important part of a relationship but each person has their limits, and reasons behind them. In bringing up the issue, make sure it is in a setting in which she is comfortable, and try not to make her feel like she is being attacked or pressured into doing something she does not want to do. If you talk to her and nothing is resolved, and you still feel like your ready to end a relationship in which you invested time, and effort in, with a person who you obviously care about...then do what you feel is right for you.
hope it all works out!

Answer 8

You need some sort of couple's counseling. There is a reason for it. If everything but the sex is good, your relationship is worth saving. Counseling can help you talk it out with a professional because believe me the other things about her make it worth saving if that is what both of you want.

Answer 9

My ex was like that and even though I did love him it just couldnt work. Its not that your gf is a bad person that just you have different needs. She may be the perfect girl but not perfect for you. I used to think that I had to accept the way my ex was because I loved him but then I realized that I wanted to and needed to be happy. I finally gave up becasue I yearned for that affection and love and even though I didnt want to believe it people dont change. I now found a guy that is just as affectionate as me now I am happy as can be.

Answer 10

I don't know why it is like this...but most men are a lot more touchy feely than woman...at least that is how I know it to be with the couples that I know...including myself....I always tell my husband I am sorry I am not the best wife to him...He tells me I am the best...but I know I fall short...I just don't need to be as huggy, kissy, or touchy like he would like....He would like to lay his head on my lap at night while we watch tv and have me stroke his hair (I know his mother did this, he never tells me this, or ever complains, I just know him)...and at night when we go to bed...he always wants his hand to be touching me (doesn't matter where, just likes to be in my space)...I am sorry...but I just don't like him in my space all the time...it has nothing to do with not loving him...because I do very much...I am just not as needy as him...sorry...I don't think I am very much different than many woman....I could be wrong...but I don't think so. My husband loves and adores me, as I do him. So I am just telling you, her lack of wanting to be touchy feely probably has nothing to do with not loving you....only you can decide if she is enough for you as she is...because chances are...she might beable to put in some real effort to be different for you for a short period of time....but eventually she will be who she is....Good luck.

P.S. I wonder if this is why men are being so drawn to each other physically...maybe they can fulfill a need in eachother that is difficult for women to fulfill. Just a thought.