i'm 20 and i'm dating a guys who is 32, we've been on 4 dates and on the 4th date he tried to kiss me on the cheek then on the mouth, i pushed him away and he asked why, he is my first date, first boy and well.... first guy; and i don't think i'm ready for that yet. i've known him for 3 weeks now but i still don't have that kind of feeling for him is it too early to tell, to kiss, to do WHAT!
I REALLY NEED HELP
can some one answer my question ASAP?!
2007-01-22 05:53:23 · 18 answers · asked by lovebug 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In general, people like to figure out if there is that elusive "chemistry" between them. From a guy's perspective, a kiss on a 4th date isn't bad behavior but you have to communicate with him with what you are feeling. A 32 year old guy should be able to understand and appreciate your feelings. Tell him to respect your hesitancy and give you time to feel okay to kiss. You said you liked him but since this is your first time, you may feel it more like "pressure" on you to do something. In the end, entering the dating scene will force you to examine yourself, your comfort zones and what it means to be truly intimate (emotional first vs. physical etc.) Also know that for some people, umm.. most people, ... ok most guys, a physical touch in the form of holding hands, a casual kiss etc. goes a long way to show a sense of mutual affection. But you don't have to do anything you don't feel like you're ready for. Just relax, be comfortable and be happy in that you're with someone who will (hopefully) accept you, your honest feelings, and come to admire you for who and what you are - a nice girl!
2007-01-22 06:06:55 · answer #1 · answered by validemails 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people will kiss on the first date, if they like someone, or may have sex after the first few dates. This does not mean these things are right for you, but if you are dating a 32 year old man, he most likely has a VERY different perspective on dating than you do, not because you are younger, but because you haven't dated before.
I don't think you should do something you're not comfortable with, but you may want to ask yourself why you feel unready, and how you will know when you feel ready. Most people know very quickly if they find someone attractive; if you've already been on 4 dates and still don't know, it is possible that you will NEVER have feelings for him.
Do what feels right for you, but don't be surprised if he is not willing to wait as long as you are. It also might be easier for you to date a guy with the same level of dating experience as you.
2007-01-22 14:06:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well considering you are 20 and he's 32, and it's your first guy, you've dated? Not saying the age is necessarily a problem, but it may play a part. A guy at his age could easily get frustrated if you're taking it slow intimately, but if he's a gentleman, he should respect the fact that you aren't ready for that sort of thing yet. Don't kiss him if you don't want to!! If anything, it will only make you have more negative feelings towards him. I've come to find you cannot rush intimacy, it only makes things more complicated than they should be. Keep it slow, especially considering, as you say, that this is your first guy you've dated? And keep in mind, 3 weeks really isn't that long!!!
2007-01-22 14:03:11 · answer #3 · answered by "Red" 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key to this is finding someone who is on the same page as you. For most it isn't that unreasonable for someone to want to kiss you after the fourth date. Does this man know he is your first dating experience. If not it may be time to let him know these things and if he chooses to make advances that make you uncomfortable then you may need to let go of him. Also, if you are on your fourth date with a guy and are not sure whether or not you want to kiss him chances are you are wasting your time. Usually when you agree to even the first date...you may be feeling like kissing the person so if you are on your fourth and still don't feel it you may need to move on.
2007-01-22 14:02:46 · answer #4 · answered by LeiMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 4th date is a good time to kiss. However, if you don't have that kind of feeling for him then don't do it. But if you don't accept the kiss he may be thinking that you are rejecting him and disappear, so just tell him you are not ready.
2007-01-22 14:03:19 · answer #5 · answered by tarzan428 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the first guy you were able to date is 32 then you might want to rethink what vibes you are sending off. And why men your age havent asked you out. Men of that age have agendas and well if kissing it too much then maybe you need to not be in a reltionship.
2007-01-22 13:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by gstolard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could just be nervous about this whole dating thing, and you could just not "like him that way". You know deep down inside if your feeling him or not, and if the feeling isn't there after three weeks, then I doubt it will be there anytime soon. Maybe you just really enjoy his company, and he makes a great friend. Either which way, if your not ready to kiss him, or do whatever else, don't do it. if he can't respect that then your better off without him!
2007-01-22 13:59:54 · answer #7 · answered by Bird's_Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kissing is nervous at first...but you shouldn't feel this way. its just a kiss...it really isnt a big deal. ive only kissed 3 guys, and one kiss was just a dare, and the other was on a first date, but just tell him the truth that you are nervous, and if he REALLY likes you, then he'll understand. i mean my best friend didnt kiss her boyfriend until 3 months of dating.....so its not bad
2007-01-22 13:58:37 · answer #8 · answered by Liya J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not comfortable that is perfectly fine. And if he can't accept it then you need to end it. On the other hand, you've known him for three weeks and haven't had romantic feelings for him, he might not be the guy for you.
2007-01-22 14:01:13 · answer #9 · answered by dynamicduo79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, it is as you dont yet have any feelings. wait for that time to come when you will yourself want to kiss him. and for him, it is usual and normal as he had been doing this for a long time. but as you are doing it for the first time, let it be special and you will know when to by urself.
2007-01-22 13:58:54 · answer #10 · answered by funnydillema 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋