Should alcoholics be held responsible for what they say and do when they are drunk?

Question

I have an Uncle that says mean and hateful things when he is drunk. He makes rude comments about my weight, my friends, other family members. For example, last night he came over to my house after he had been drinking and in not so many words told me that I needed to loose weight. Yeah I probably need to but you just don't say stuff like that to someone. I am not sure if he remembers what he says or not. What do you think? How should I handle this?

Answer 1

Ask him not to come around when he's been drinking. However, you must know that men aren't nearly as sensitive to women when talking about weight. They just don't get it!

Answer 2

You are not responsible for your uncle's bad behavior when he's been drinking; he is.

Put the responsibility back where it belongs--on HIM--by saying something like, "You don't realize how mean and hateful you get when you've been drinking [give an example or two here]. So if you've been drinking, I don't want to be around you."

That will let him know how you feel AND hopefully protect you from some of the more hurtful consequences of his drinking.

Answer 3

YES! Acoholic or not, everyone is responsible for what they say and do drunk or not!
When your Uncle is sober, talk with him and tell him how he is when he is drunk, he will of course say he isn't that way, or worse, if he says he don't remember. You need to tell him not to come around to your home when he has been drinking, and that you or other family members will not let him in, AND you or other family members will call the police if he insists on entering! But you have to be serious about not letting him in, or he will always be this way toward you and everyone else. Eventually he will not come around when he has been drinking, who knows maybe he'll even quit drinking, or just come around before he starts drinking!!!!

Answer 4

Yes, they should be completely responsible for their words and actions! A drunk driver hits and kills a car full of people they just don't let that drunk off the hook because he/she was drunk. No they prosecute!

Tell your Uncle that last night he said some hurtful things to you and you didn't appreciate it. If he says that he was drunk, implying that you should forgive him...tell him that is absolutely NO excuse.

Answer 5

I am not a "drinker" but I have been drunk on a few occasions. All alcohol does is help you be uninhibited and more honest about how you feel, thus the term "truth serum" is often used to describe alcohol. I think all people who take lie detector tests should just be drunk and I bet the truth will come out:-).

Answer 6

I would tell your parents how much having him around is hurting you. If they want him over for a drunk fest then to let you know ahead of time so you can make other plans away from the house. Sometime you can not change people you can only change your reaction to their actions.
Tracylyn S.

Answer 7

If they were held responsible maybe they wouldn't drink to that point. As far has handling the situation, I have no idea except consider the source.

Answer 8

Of course!! I believe a lot of ppl use alcohol to do and say things they will not normally have the guts to do and say.

What you need to do is let him know the things he says are hurtful whether he says them under the influence or not, so if he has to come to see you, do not drink . this way he will not have that ready excuse.

Answer 9

NO he doesnt remember what he says. You know he is drunk so you shouldnt take what that nut says to heart. Just ignore him thats the best thing you can do.

Answer 10

He remembers! The best thing to do is talk to him. Chances are he won't change. But everytime he realizes he said something to hurt you, he will know.