A police officer pulls over a man who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."
"Well, then, we need a urine sample."
"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."
"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."
2007-01-22 05:33:12 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Or you can try this!!
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's
card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation.
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying officer told you I was speeding, too.
2007-01-22 05:42:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Heehee. Pretty good.
A police officer pulls a guy over and leans over to talk to him.
"Do you realise you were speeding back there, sir"
"No officer, I'm pretty sure I was going under the speed limit"
"Do you realise that you jumped a red light as well, sir?"
"No officer, I'm pretty sure that the light was orange when I drove through"
"Do you know your back brake lights don't work, sir?"
"No officer, I'm sure they work fine, you must have been looking at them from the wrong angle."
The drivers wife suddenly turns to the policeman and says:
"Don't worry officer he's not being rude..he always gets argumentative after he's been drinking!"
2007-01-22 06:04:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fantastic
2007-01-26 00:37:21 · answer #3 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never heard that one before. Ha ha ha. I liked it. Don't try any or all of those excuses if caught drink driving, they may lock you up and forget where they put the key. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
2007-01-22 05:38:37 · answer #4 · answered by JillPinky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one lol
2007-01-22 07:43:41 · answer #5 · answered by Zenlife07 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL, still brings a smile to my face that one:)
2007-01-22 05:37:27 · answer #6 · answered by Welshchick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a good one. lol
2007-01-22 06:16:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no they don't very gd lol 10/10
2007-01-22 05:38:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some brutal honesty hehehehehehehehe
2007-01-22 05:42:17 · answer #9 · answered by onukpa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a friend of mine. lol
2007-01-22 05:39:07 · answer #10 · answered by funoburgmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋