how to help my 5year old make friends at school.?

Question

my 5 year old daughter has a speech problem which she is getting speech therapy for but i think this is affecting her confidence as she does not have many friends and sometimes plays by her self. We have had to moved around a lot so maybe this has not helped.

Answer 1

My daughter is 5 as well, she has a problem making friends too. We also moved around a lot, so I wonder if that isn't playing a big part. What I've tried to do is have some of her classmates over, and invite the parent as well. I don't know about you but I wouldn't let my child go over to anyones house without knowing the parent first. I've also given my daughter tips on how to engage in conversation better. Like to find out what the child likes and then talk about or do that activity with them. Could your daughter and my daughter get together !! LOL !!! But I understand your frustration, I feel the same way.

Answer 2

My son sounded like Elmer Fudd when he was 5 yrs old - almost 7 yrsold. He also got speech therapy.

In my experience, from having a child development background, owning a child care business, my own children, and watching children interact with one another, I don't think it's the speech problem that is the issue. Moving around can cause more issues than most parents think, self esteem issues, security issues, and separation issues. Children at this age are very much in to having friends but they don't know how to tell you how much it hurts that they lose that friend because of a move, and it can only take once for them to withdraw to some degree and take more time to make friends and establish relationships with other children. Then again, there are some children who are just that way in their personality, my son and daughter are night and day on how they interact in a new set of children.

My son is and always has been one to stand back and evaluate situations, people, and decide who he wants to make his friends. My daughter on the other hand has been always right in there and making friends with EVERYONE she possibly could.

My son is now 17 and my daughter is 15, so it's been just something to watch and learn about their personality differences. Like you I was worried watching my son, but by the end of his kindergarten year he had made friends, and even did sleep overs.

So don't fret, just give her lots of encouragement, and try not to move again for a while let her establish some healthy friendships and learn it's not always going to be a move and moving doesn't have to break the friendships up.

Answer 3

You might want to try asking your daughter's teacher for suggestions of children to invite over for a playdate. Teachers are wonderful resources and certainly know all the personalities involved. The teacher might be able to recommend a more outgoing child, or one who makes friends easily, or even another shy one, depending on the circumstance. Also the teacher can let you know if your daughter's speech issues are causing her to be teased, which might cause her to withdraw. The school should have a "no tolerance" policy but sometimes children need a gentle reminder. Another thing to consider is whether she is pulled out of class for speech or has her therapy outside of school hours. In the younger grades, it is usually considered "cool" to be pulled out of class for whatever reason, but this can be an issue for older kids. Good luck to you and your daughter, keep on being her strongest advocate!

Answer 4

I really don't think that your daughters speech problem is why she isn't making friends children can be brutal even at that young of an age.. Start talking to some of the children at her school when you go to drop her up and pick her up.. My daughters, 5 yr old twins are in a private pre-school they have always been liked, but I will tell you one thing that helps is talking to the other children maybe she is (not meaning to) pushing the other children away when they are trying to be nice to her.. Umm, do they have show and tell at her school?? If so check with the school and teachers, but I will tell you something that is really cool, take your daughter to the local fire department and speak to the chief or captain of that station explain to them that your daughter is in school and you thought that it would be great if they could come to her school during show and tell and be your little girl's show and tell for that day.. Have them bring the fire truck and maybe some goodies for the kids(they usually have plastic fireman hats) and make sure they introduce themselves and tell the class that they are your daughters show and tell.. That way when all the kids go how telling mommy and daddy about the firemen and the trucks etc, they will bring up your daughters name.. It will help, hopefully, but be sure to take your daughter with you to the fire station when you ask so she can be as involved in all of this, hopefully it will help her to open up to her class mates and she can tell them all about her trip to the fire station.. IF the school will not allow the fire dept to come and do a demo then stop by the station pick up some coloring books and the plastic firemen hats (enough for the class) and have your daughter take them as her show and tell and pass them out, she can still tell the class all about it and take a camera with you when you take her so u can take pics of her in the fire truck to take with her to school..

Answer 5

really all your child needs at this point is a really good friend (single, one) as long as she has one friend she will still be getting social skills and be able to learn how to work on her speech skills. what you can do is volunteer your time in her class (some schools ask for parents to come in as teachers assistants or something like that) and get to know the kids that are around her though out the day. once the kids associate you with your daughter they will be more willing to open up to her.

Answer 6

Well just let her be herself.And if she makes a friend she could always write letters to him or her.It doesn't really matter what is on the outside.What is on the inside counts.But if someone only likes you for what's on the outside,they are not a true friend.For example I have a friend that has been in a wheelchair since she was 4 , but she is the Greatest friend you could ever have.Even though she can't walk.I hope your daughter makes a good friend.

Answer 7

Get to know a few of the parents and set up play dates on the weekends and take advantage of any extras after school. At my daughters (she's 6) school, they have a book club and art club. It meets once a month and they talk about the books they've read and read more together and do art projects. Also putting her in something she enjoys like dance, gymnastics, theater can really boost her self-esteem.

Answer 8

Make sure that she isn't acting weird around other people when you are around. Not tryin to be a jurk but I have seen this at elementary schools. The kid acts all inosent and when no one is watching they are little brats. Or it could be the turn around affect where the other kids act like that. Moving around isn't going to help her either. She may think you are moving around because she is having a difficulty making friends. Make sure you tell her you love her a lot but the kids at her school may just be going through stages where they feel exclusive. This behavior is coming on at earlier stages.

Answer 9

Get your daughter involved with activities that they may provide after school so that she can meet other children. Also, asking her exactly in her opinion how this all makes her feel may be helpful for you to figure out what you need to do for her. Inviting children to your house, making sure they have lots of fun things to do may also help the other kids like her.

Answer 10

I have a nephew who is also very shy - I got him a book on how to make paper airplanes and now he has something he can do that brings the kids to him. Your girl may be a bit young for that but the same basic idea of finding something she can do that will bring the kids to her can apply. There is a company called "Klutz" that makes some great books/activities paper airplanes, cat's cradle string games (that one could work), fairy making, etc,,, My 6-year old son has always been very outgoing and one of the things he does is to always bring something with him to share. It attracts other children to him. A few dollars spent at your local dollar store on little trinkets - erasers, gummy lizards, hair clips, etc may give her the opening to make friends with the other kids.