my son wont stop crying when i leave?

Question

I go to the gym and my son goes to the play area. I am 22 yr old single mom and me and him live together. Zak is 22 months. When I took him to the play area today he threw a fit and i ended up staying with him bc he just cried and cried and cried.

Please help. I want my son to like it and let me work out. Theres toys everywhere and kids, but all he wants is "mama"

Answer 1

that is perfectly normal. it just takes a little bit of time. just make sure that every single time you leave him, you let him know that you are going and that you will be back soon. he will get used to it, and realize that mommy is never leaving for too long.

of course, if he has been staying in the play area just fine in the past, and all of a sudden this last time he broke down, maybe he was just having a mommy day! if this is a problem that is sticking around, just keep leaving him, and dont linger when you say goodbye.

Answer 2

This is very normal. Children get separation anxiety. It passes.

Also, if you did more that drop him off, say 'I love you', kiss him and leave, you are perpetuating this. The longer that it takes for you to walk away the more anxious the child becomes. It's tough to do, but you must.

I ran a daycare for 7 years and the children that cried when their parents left were the ones that had the parents lingering at the door saying good bye over and over. It gives the impression of their being something wrong. Also, if you are anxious, you son will pick up on it. It is a lesson that you will have to learn together.

I promise that he will settle down within 5 to 10 minutes of you walking away. He will have a good time. He will get along with other children. He may even start to cry when you return to give you a little show.

Hang in there. You can do this!

Answer 3

I am a single mom too. My son is now about 20 months old. He started having seperation anxiety around 13 months and it would come and go. Even at home, he still gets upset if I leave the room. (I recently asked a question on here about "if it is normal for a toddler to follow his mom everywhere"-you may want to pull up my profile and read the many great answers).

Anyway, though it is painful for any mom to hear her child cry, sometimes you just have to leave them. You can re-assure then that you will come back real soon, but you will still need to leave them alone. My son is one of the happiest children I have ever known and everyone comments on that. I have spent quite a great deal of time with him, so, it is only natural for him to want me there always. Yet, he has gotten very good about being left places like his daycare. Oh, he will pitch a bit of a fit at first. His new thing is to fall on the ground, spread himself out like a wild thing and try to block the door as I leave. I hate to have to leave him, but the workers there have told me that he gets over it in about 1 minute! It helps if they can't see you when you do go. Since you are in a gym, he may be able to still see you which will make it harder.

What I have learned from others is that it will get better. Though I will look back on these times when my son did not want me to leave his side, and just sigh a big sigh of loss when the day comes that he no longer needs me as much.

Good luck to you. Hang in there! We both will!

Answer 4

Because your his Mama that's why , Look what I did when My oldest first went to daycare I mean it totally broke my heart to leave her behind crying for me and their just looking straight at you like mama don't leave me. but I had to go to work and so what I just did was sat her down with some other babies at the time she was i think a little bit less than a year but what I did was sat her down like i said and played for about 5minutes and got up and told her mommy has to go now , I Love You and I see you in a Little bit of course she new mommy is leaving so she started to cry but I gave a big hug and kiss so i wont feel bad and told her bye and Yes it hurts to here them cry but hey you need to do things and order to get them done you have to be STRONG and let go. Now if your child is always crying when you take them there and its been months & months that they have been going then something is wrong and they don't like whats going on our whats being done to them and how they are being treated so that will tell you right there, I think children need about a couple of months or so to adapt to the atmosphere and most likely the crying gradually stops. Good Luck

Answer 5

He's just doing the normal thing and with time he will stop. How long will it take? At school my son did it for just the 1st day and my daughter for 2 weeks. The important thing is that you do not come back to him because he will then associate his crying with you coming to get him. It doesnt mean yuo dont care or are a bad mother he just needs to learn that his crying doesnt get you back. Hes nearly 2 y/o so you when you leave him in the play area explain to him that you'll be back for him, that its ok for him to play and when you do come back remember him what you told him earlier. If you need to do this every day it is ok but you have to make your goodbye shorter and shorter until he understands.

Answer 6

This is common with kids his age. Try dropping him off, giving him a big hug and kiss, then saying "I will be back soon. I love you." Go out the room and wait. Stay where he can't see you and listen. Most of the times kids with separation anxiety will settle down in 5 minutes -- often much less. Even if he cries longer, he will be okay. Go take care of your health, so you can be there for him! Best Wishes!

Answer 7

That's normal at his age but there could be more to it than that. I had the same problem w/ my son, who's almost 2. He refuses to go to the childcare at the gym, I can't even get to the locker room w/o them paging me. He does this at his regular daycare too but it's different (more intense) at the gym.
Keep the good-bye short and let him know you will be back. It's rough but you can do it. Just remember you need "you" time, in order to be the best mommy possible. He will adjust and the more he goes, the easier it will get. Good luck!

Answer 8

Keep your child with you at all times until he is comfortable and ready to wonder out into the world on his own. (this may mean no gym, alternative working schedules and even homeschooling for the first few years).

I know this is virtually imposable to do in modern society but this is the best solution for his psychological and emotional development. Americans tend to force their children into independence too early. Listen to the terror in his cries and realize that "you" are his world for now.

maybe you can purchase some exercise DVDs and work out at home for now. make sure you set him close by so he can see and feel your presence. As time goes on he will separate from you and venture out more and more on his own.

also Have other people around him as much as possible so he starts learning to trust and feel comfortable around other adults. He will eventually part from you and the transaction will be less traumatizing for him.

Answer 9

Try invite a friend with a child your child is friends with.Be gentle with him,don't let him cry too long.Spend the one shift with him mabe?Or reward him show him the prize,and later give it to him.Or try a different gym?Mabe he is not happy with his saroundings.Or bring his favorite toy or toys.Sooner or later you'll figure someting out so you can workout .Mabe get a home gym?

Answer 10

TAKE HIM AND PLAY WITH HIM IN THERE FOR A WHILE THEN SPEND LESS AND LESS TIME IN THERE WITH HIM BUT REASURE HIM THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS COME BACK TO HIM.