Still trying to make it work....?

Question

After four years my boyfriend and I have fought over the same issues, the way he talks and gets so angry when we get in any kind of argument. Now he still is trying so hard to make it work and I cannot let go of the past and everything he has done to me. Also I don't sense any kind of change in the way he still reacts to issues. Will it ever get better, or do I need to finally give it up??

Answer 1

Sounds like there are a couple of issues going on here. You both would probably be wise to seek out some type of relationship counseling to try and work out some of these issues. I would suggest that the past is the past and so you need to put it to rest and allow your relationship to grow. As for the way he gets angry when you argue then he needs to work on these anger issues in my opinions anyway, as things may only get worse. But the good thing is that it sounds like you both are communicating with each other, even if not completely open or maturely, you are letting each other know of your feelings. Four years is a long time for any relationship to be perfect but all relationships are capable of returning to happier days if that is what both parties want. Sadly though there are times when couples cannot work through these issues alone and need the help of a third party that is not bias and can listen and make suggestions as to what couples can do to improve things between themselves. Best of luck and hopefully you two can get things back on track.

Answer 2

It took 4 years to build your relationship, and now you understand, from your words, that "don't sense any kind of change in the way he still reacts to issues".
Relationships need compromising, and if he's not going to make that, you two will never work out.

Answer 3

If after 4 years of trryin to make it work, and you're still having the same issues? I dont think it will get better. If you care about each other you should let each other go so you can find someone better suited.

Answer 4

after four years i think that you gave it your best shot but you need to know when to let go. if his behavior hasn't changed then it probably won't. and if you can't let go of the past, i'm sure there's a really big reason why. do yourself a favor and just let it all go. think about what you've learned from this relationship and how you can apply these lessons to make your next relationship better.

Answer 5

Only you can truly answer that question. Have you tried anger management counseling with him? Have you tried a trial separation? Ask yourself if this is how you want your children to behave? Would you allow your daughter to be treated the Way you are being treated? These are some great questions to get you thinking.

Good luck, my heart goes out to you
hugs
Kissatina

Answer 6

Women marry me expecting that they can change. Men marry women hoping they won't change. So many are disappointed.

If this is the way he is, it probably will not change on anything but a short term. You need to decide if you can live with it. No one here can tell you.

I suspect you already know the answer - it's in your heart. be honest with yourself and you'll know.

Answer 7

Sounds like you need to give it up - these are probably issues that you will never work through and you'll only be causing yourself more pain if you stay in the relationship.

Answer 8

Give it up.. I can't believe you stayed with him for 4 years while still bickering over the same issues....

Answer 9

Think about how you feel for him.

Theres this one quote from the movie, "The Mexican," and it asks a simple question on there: "When two people truely love eachother, but they just cant seem to get it together. When is it when enough is enough?"

The answer is, "Never."

So look inside yourself and see what you feel.

Answer 10

Give it up, nothing is going to change and as long as you stay with him you will never find that other person out there with whom you will be more compatable and happier with.