How can I get my daughter to do her homework?

Question

My daughter is 13 and has never liked school. Recently though, she's stubbornly refused to do her homework. A couple of times, she has refused to go to school! She is falling really far behind and risks not graduating. I know she's nervous about going to high school next year. I'm just so worried about her. I feel like I've tried everything (grounding, removing priviliges, rewards, etc.). Anybody have any better ideas? Even just a little empathy would be appreciated!

Answer 1

You've done everything I would do!!!
There is one thing I would do, that is kind of cruel [to her] but then again it works bc it woked with my parents when I was in 6th grade. This is what they did, they warned me that if I didnt get my grades up that they would go to school WITH me, sit by me, and make sure I payed attention and did my work. Of course I didnt believe them, the next week they went and got permission from the principle [she thought it was a great idea]. and they went to school with me, to everyclass, made sure I payed attention, and did my work.
I dont know if you would be willing to do it, but it works. All I had to do was have atleast a 75 in all my classes, and my parents stopped going with me.

I hope you do figure something out though.
Best wishes

Answer 2

Make a "homework time" and a "homework area" somewhere away from a tv, radio and distractions. Make it a rule that everyday at a certain time for one hour is time to do homework. The place you chose should not move on a regular basis (the kitchen table isn't great)-- you need a set area.

Try talking to the school. You are NOT the only person to have this issue! Teachers are always willing to help suggest ideas to get homework done, and will do everything they can to encourage your daughter to be productive. You and your daughters teacher should talk on a regular basis. Try and set a time once a week. During that time you can discuss how your daughter was acting, where she was struggling and what she needs help in. You may even want to create a "weekly report card" where you can track your daughters activities and progress in school.

Also, someitmes kids rebel in doing homework because they are frustrated by it. See if you can enroll her in an afterschool tutoring program which will help her understand her work a lot more. As for why she doesn't want to go, see if she is being bullied. Sometimes children are afraid to go to classes where they know they will be picked on, which can effect their work and self-esteem.

As well, force her to go to school. If she says no, physically dress her, put her in the car and drive her to the school. Bring her to the classroom and make sure that she goes in. Tell the office that she is not allowed to go home sick unless she has a temperature. (This worked for me when I would want to go home... after a year I stopped trying to go home sick).

Whatever happens, good luck with everything, and remember that you are trying your hardest!

Answer 3

Ask Carmen about it. Express to her your gratefulness that she is so wonderful to her younger sister. One night, ask Carmen if you can take her place and do homework with Joy. Tell Joy that you want to take her out for a special dinner, just you and her, and maybe an activity afterwards like bowling or something, but that you need to get the homework done first. Sit down with her and use every ounce of patience in your body to calmly assist her in a loving way. Threatening, screaming and yelling will only make her want to do things less. You have to create a positive rewarding environment for all your children. Show them all that homework can be a stress free thing and that positive things happen when you get it out of the way early. At first, having rewards for the completion of homework is good, but eventually the rewards have to become positive emotional reinforcement as opposed to tangible things. Having boundaries and schedules that your children comply to will help move things along smoothly and create a happy home. Good luck!

Answer 4

You need to follow through with these things(grounding, removing privileges, etc.) You did not say if she is abiding by her punishment. If you have to take her by the hand to school. Do not allow her to do this. It will effect her future. I understand you are ready to rip your hair out. As far as the homework see if the school will help go to her housemaster. See if they will give her detention. This works for my daughter. In New York you don't do your homework they automatically give you detention. First offence 15 minutes, each time after that longer. This works. I wish you alot of luck. Remember you dont have to be her friend just her parent. She will love and respect you later for it. I know right now you feel like the bad guy. I've been there I know. School is important. Good luck.

Answer 5

You can call and talk to her school's counselor. They may have some ideas for you. This is really a tough one. Unless your daughter decides she's going to step up and participate in her schooling you may have to take some drastic action. It seems like you need some outside intervention, maybe a social worker. The truth of the matter is that if she is not attending school at some point the legal system is going to step in. She needs to know what the reality is. If she doesn't go to school she could very well be put in a foster home.

It just seems like kids these days do whatever they want and nothing you can do or say can help. I really feel for you. But you need to do what you can and get any and all resources to help you.

Answer 6

No one wants to do things that they are not good at. If she is having trouble in school, that is probably why she does not want to go. Ask her if she thinks that changing schools would help or have you even considered home schooling her? Before you can solve the problem, you have to find out what the problem is. Punishing won't help. There are other issues going on here. You have to figure those out first.

Answer 7

I had this problem with my teenage son. I approached it from two angles. I took away all his freedom and made his life hell if he refused to do it, and I offered support and to help him through it. I also talked with his teachers to develop a plan to get caught up. It wasn't easy but he never got behind again. There is a reason she does not want to do it. You may want to talk to the school counselor. Be a wall of discipline and compassion.

Answer 8

Sounds like there is something going on a school. You need to get to the root of the problem before it gets completely out of hand. If nothing else there is internet homeschooling. Where you earn an accredited highschool diploma

Answer 9

make a game out of it, if she completes so many homework assignments, or get good grades she gets a ticket so many tickets she gets different things, go to the mall, buy something, go outside and play, go to a friends house, but if she doesnt get any tickets, then she gets grounded, i am sure she will like the rewards much better i know i would

Answer 10

what my dad did for me... was that he sat down and told me flat out what will happen to me if i don't do my homework and then he never bothered me about it again.... i figured out the hard way.... he told me that i won't pass and i didn't believe him... now i work hard to keep my grades so that doesn't happen again.... or you could get her involved with a sport or some kind of music program... get her involved in something that will make her feel better about herself and maybe then she'll do the right thing... all parents can do is guide their childeren.. teach them what's important and let them go about their own way....