There is this guy that I clearly like. We are hook up buddies and we hangout all the time. I have stopped contacting him and let him come to me. He texts me and I most of the time meet up with him when he asks to hangout. I just can't seem to say no, because I usually don't have anything else to do. I figure he wants to hangout thats why he calls. Is this unattractive to him, knowing that when he calls I'll come hangout? Or am I overthinking this?
2007-01-22 04:47:04 · 13 answers · asked by Sam s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I vote for overthinking. Men don't play mind games the way we women do. If he didn't want you around, he'd let you know quickly. They're simple creatures, really.
Now if the question is how to turn him from hang-out friend to boyfriend, that's another issue. But if you just want to know if you're turning him off by being available, my answer is no.
2007-01-22 04:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be a problem here, otherwise you wouldn't ask. It seems that you are not totally comfortable with the whole just hanging out thing.
If you are free and have nothing better to do, then call him, try do keep things equal.
how long has this hook up thing been going on? Does he know that you like him more than just for sex. If he doesn't don't assume that he does, he may not. Are you sure he doesn't like you more than just hook up buddies considering that at the moment he is doing all the running?
Do you think that you would make a good couple? Is he boyfriend material?
Basically if it turns out that he is only in it for the sex, and you fall for him, you will get hurt. So if/when you can bare to do so, ask him his true feelings for you. If it is just a hook up thing, you should consider not doing it, as you will get more hurt. Although as you said you've got nothing better to do...!
2007-01-22 05:57:23 · answer #2 · answered by As You Like It 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems to me like he's not motivated to do more, if that's what you mean.
He calls, you respond, there it is. If you want more out of the relationship, you might have already made yourself too available, yeah. There's no impetus for him to commit, since he's with you already, whenever he wants, or at least from what you have said.
Be an interesting person, have things going on. Don't be around 24/7. Be mysterious. It's all about mystery, and the chase.
If he knows where you are, and what you are doing, which is generally nothing without him around, then he's got you as his old standby relationship.
This advice is generally good for guys, also.
There are some good books for ladies out there on love and relationships, with titles like "The Game: finding and catching the man you want" (not the exact title) Go to half price books if they have it in your country, and ask the clerk for books on relationships and dating.
I think there is a Dating for Dummies, or relationships for Dummies books, one of those black and yellow books from the series. As I recall it had pretty good advice.
But if all you are looking for is a casual relationship, seems like that is exactly where you are at right now, don't change it, if that is what you want.
Good luck.
2007-01-22 04:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get out of a relationship as much as you put into it. And if you don't put much effort and thought into your relationship, then eventually it will end due to lack of satisfaction for both.
A guy usually wants more than just hang out with his girlfriend. And if his relationship gets stalled and doesn't progress to greater affection and intimacy, then eventually he will loose interest and will want to be with another woman.
Any guy likes to be friends with a woman who is easy on him. But this doesn't necessarily means that he likes her a lot.
The only way you can find out just how much he likes you is by making your meetings with him more romantic and more intimate than before and observing his reaction to it.
If he doesn't seem especially thrilled with the romance, then perhaps you are being too available for him. In that case, he is just wasting your time and being friends with you because you are easy to be friends with and not because he likes you a lot.
A guy usually finds a woman attractive a lot, or not that much. And it usually doesn't take long for a guy to decide how he feels about a woman. First impressions count the most. And this means that your friend probably has made up his mind about you long time ago. And it's up to you to find out just how much he likes you.
2007-01-22 05:06:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um....YEAH!!!!! You are the f^ck buddy. The girl he calls last minute, the piece of azz. He is not respecting you and you are not respecting yourself. When a guy is interested in YOU he will make plans ahead of time. Even if you have nothing to do you should lie and make something up. Going out with friends, have a date already, something. Never take a last minute invitation with a guy that you like, unless it is purely platonic, which you already stated that it wasn't. If he was soo into you he would have made his move already.
2007-01-22 04:54:15 · answer #5 · answered by Love United 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, this is fine - don't worry about it.
There is no rule saying that you have to say no some of the time.
Just keep all the possibilities of what might happen next in mind and try to steer events into a favourable long-term outcome in a mild and friendly way.
2007-01-22 06:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by profound insight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your overthinking it. He's interested in you, don't be mean to him. Your interested in him to or you wouldn't come around. I've used that old phrase 'well I don't have nothing else to do too'. Find something new to say, trust me.
2007-01-22 04:51:46 · answer #7 · answered by christinedaae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he's lovin' it, I promise. That's all guys want anyway and by you making it so available, he can just show up with his member in his hand, right? I think I love you too!
2007-01-22 04:51:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i doubt hes calling you and thinking 'if she says yes again, she is such a sad case' hes calling cos he likes you and wants to see u if he didnt want to he wouldnt ring. he could be wanting to call u more but wont cos he doesnt want u thinking the same thing?
just chillax!
2007-01-22 04:52:18 · answer #9 · answered by kiki_dees 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
us guys would rather hang out with our buddies
if the guy is hanging out with a girl one on one you can bet that he likes you little more than friends
he might think that you think of him as a friend and is afraid to make a move
give him more sign...or unbutton your shirt little more and watch his eyes...lol
2007-01-22 04:56:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋