I have a problem..help..?

Question

I used 2 be a very happy person, who didn't worry much and I was more relaxed in the past.Now all of the sudden I'm taking life to seriously and I've began losing friends and even lost my boyfriend for a while. I'm not sure why I changed so much but a lot of things happened during that time. I finished school started working while all my friends are still in school, then I've been lied to in the past a lot and hurt in relationships that now I have trust issues and I sort of took it out on my bf and blame him for it which in a way isn't fair but then he lied to me about some things and now its even worse.I'm finding that now i'm trying into a very controling person &negative person &I don't know how to help it.He ended up breaking up with me because he couldnt stand the arguments but I felt that we argued cuz of things he would do knowing I wouldn't be ok wiht it but he was. I wasnt ok with him going out with just his "girl friends", and he'd promise he wouldn't but he'd end up doing it

Answer 1

being hurt in the past is tough, you know, its hard because it does affect all your future relationships, however, it is disrespectful if your b/f is spending time online/or in person with girl-friends, my b/f still chats and emails his ex's which he has quite a few, these are women he did sleep with and have feelings for, and has no male friends, at all. So he has asked a couple times if he could go to lunch with them, spend the day with one of the ex's and her kids, and barbecue with another, and I have to say, if it comes up again, that will be it for me, and you have to realize too, that unless you have the same types of relationships with other males, and its truly plutonic, it is not fair, has nothing to do with being controlling or insecure, its right/wrong, black/white. When someone lies, that burns into your brain, and you have to decide whether this relationship is worth it.
I'm still sticking it out, but if he (my b/f) does meet with his ex or lunches or anything, I won't even fight with him, I will make plans to leave, as it is disrespectful, unless we're all together, then thats different, if its just plans he makes with him and her! GOODBYE! You have some decisions to make

Answer 2

It sounds to me like you are reaching a new path in your life. As you said, you are now working and your friends are still in school. It's called growing up. You are taking on adult responsibilities now while your friends are still in their youth. And yes, this does include your b/f too. You may seem more controlling and negative, however, if you were to sit back and look at your life from the outside, it is simply because you are now an adult with Adult issues. You no longer have the freedom you once had and your friends just are not ready to wrap their heads around that yet. Be patient with yourself and remember, YOU are in control of YOU. You are looking at the world as an adult. Maybe it's time to start looking for Adult friends (but still keep the old) and don't kick yourself too hard.
Rowynntreegirl

Answer 3

Well to be honest if you say he lied to you well you have a reason to act like that, plus he knew when you found out everything wasent goin to be the same duh!! I mean he knew wat was coming. Gurl dont worry about anything you dont need some 1 that lies to u. And sometimes change is good, if you feel good being the way u r them go a head! But be happy, life is too short for you to waste you precious time worrying about stupid people..... XoXo Be happy :)

Answer 4

hi, thats an interesting question! lol! 20/F wondering the same thing... holla back