ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years. But recently have been having uncontolable feelings for another man...

Question

Ive been with someone for three years. but recently, ive had HUGE feelings for another person. we get on really well. he's one of those people that i can just talk to for hours and never have to think what to say. i'm 16 now. And i've been with my boyfriend since i was 13. we've kind of grown up together. And we're so close. I love him so much. I mean, i feel so good when im with him. He has cheated on me before, but that was in our first year of being together. But i've never had the thrill of being with someonelse. I've never kissed anyone but him. I've never done anything with anyone but him. My first time was with him.. Thats a big thing to me. I love him so, so much. And i feel so bad about liking someonelse. Also, i talk to this other boy everyday. we're close. have been for months. I havnt told him i like him. But He always tells me how much he likes me. All he ever goes on about is how great we'd be together. I'm just so stuck. Please help me...

Answer 1

Difficult situation. Ask yourself this question: Are you willing to lose your boyfriend, who you know you get along with very well, who you know you love? Do you want to be with your boyfriend for a long time, or do you really, truly love him?

But you're young, and you may not know what you want in life. I don't think your boyfriend does, either. At your age, a long term relationship isn't very common. Sure, they happen. But also, you have hormones doing things to your body and mind that it can be terribly confusing! Just follow your heart.

Answer 2

(i'm 16 now. And i've been with my boyfriend since i was 13. we've kind of grown up together. And we're so close. I love him so much. I mean, i feel so good when im with him My first time was with him.. Thats a big thing to me. I love him so, so much. And i feel so bad about liking someonelse)

WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE ?
WAKE UP dear
good luck

Answer 3

This is a big decision to make.
I have been with my fiance for 2 yrs and I'm still a teenager too, but the difference is I have had experiences with other guys so I know exactly what I want and what I need.
If you've never experienced being with someone else it might be difficult to figure out whether or not you're with the right guy.
If you're the same age as the guy you're with he may be feeling similar.
Maybe you could talk to him about it and explain that you love him, you just need to make sure that you want to stay with him forever by seeing what it's like to be without him, and with someone else.
It could be an idea to take a break for a while, agree to date other people but make sure you stay real close.
If it doesn't work out with the 2nd guy then you'll know whether or not you want to go back to your current bf or whether you want to see other people.
Like you said, you're 16, you shouldn't feel like your tied down even if this guy is awesome.
Think about it long and hard and talk to him, see how he is feeling right now.
I really hope it all works out for you,
best of luck xxxxxxxxx

Answer 4

Even though you're young I'll give you the same advice I'd give someone twice your age.

Stop where you are and think about what you are truly doing... how you're feeling... and why you're feeling that way.

Chances are you are bored of the day in day out relationship you've been in for three years. Do I blame you? No way. I know how it feels. Is it wrong to feel that way? Again, no. This new boy you've come to adore... he's something exciting and intriguing. He makes you feel those butterflies you used to get early on with you boyfriend, he says the sweet things that your boyfriend used to say, and he showers you with compliments as I'm sure your boyfriend used to do. Who could possibly blame you for being so infactuated.

Now think about this... there are couples out there who have made it to fifty years and beyond. Don't you think they felt the same way you did once before? Sure they did, but they figured out that you can trade in the old for the new, but eventually all new things get old and you can't keep recycling.

Your boyfriend sounds like a guy who adores you and loves you completely. It seems as if he learned his lesson after his mess up two years ago and is committed to making things work, so if he hasn't hurt you since then why would you leave him? Out of boredom?

Just think about what you really want to do... because there really is no turning back from decisions like that.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Try other relationships. You are entirely too young to be tied to anyone at this time. Especially as young as you started. Date around. What you learn from each relationship will help you find what you want when you are ready for marriage. Each boyfriend will have good points and bad points. It will be hard but experience life. Your feelings are normal in both cases. Take a break and explore. You won't know what's out there if not. A relationship should not consume you, it should be an extension of you.

Answer 6

This is all a part of GROWING UP , soon you ll get over it and realised you were worried about nothing at all. it s no use being with someone that doesnt thrill you , some guys can really be boring , dont stick with your old guy just because you v been together long ... I did that and it got me no where and it takes courage to admitt you have to move on.
I am sure you v got bigger problems like school work to worry about.
Good luck

Answer 7

wow sounds like a real problem. if you love your bf then maybe you should just stay with him and stay loyal. but if you find that you're just attracted to this guy way more and have a lot of stuff in common then maybe take some time and think this through. talk to one of your friends mayb. but i would think of the past with ur bf. because you've been with him for 3 years, which is a lot, and you know him Really well. but if your feeling sort of distant you mite be in love with this other guy because he's already saying that he likes you. i mean there's always a first love right?

Answer 8

You need to think about what your feeling. If your are just with your boyfriend only because you have been together for so long and you are just use to him being around. Then I would say go with the other boy. but if you are really in love with your boyfriend and don't want to live without him then stay with him. And remember temptation is always going to be around you. There are always going to be cute boys that are fun and that want to be with you. but you have to remember who you want to be faithful to and keep some sort of distance so that you are not tempted. because one thing will lead to another and you will find your self in a difficult situation (a love triangle).
and if you are trying to justify cheating on your boyfriend because he has cheated on you DONT ! Don't cheapen yourself . you have already forgave him because you have taken him back.

Answer 9

Help your present boyfriend 'cheat' on you. And then neither one of you will feel bad about leaving each other.

A recent scientific study has found that a man in the company of a woman looks more attractive to other women than when he is alone. This may be because women trust each other's judgement of men. And if one woman finds a man attractive, then this is a sign for other women that there is something good about this man.

I suggest that you introduce your boyfriend to some of your attractive girlfriends at school. Be friendly with him in their company. And then when you are alone with your girlfriends, tell them of your problem of having two boyfriends. Perhaps one of them would then want to make a move on your present boyfriend, knowing that you wouldn't have any hard feelings against her.

Or you can 'conspire' with one of your girlfriends to help you out by getting your boyfriend cheat on you even if she doesn't like him that much. After one date, she can 'change her mind' and stop being interested in him.

Answer 10

You changed.. he will probably change too.. Since he is your friend let him know you need to move on.. your just comfortable with one another right now.
You need to date other guys, at 13 you were way too young to establish a permanent relationship, that is why your liking other people at 16 and its okay!! You will look back when your 19 and wonder why you liked the guys you did at 13 and 16!!