What would you do if you find out your daughter 15 , invited a boy to while you're out without telling you.?

Answer 1

TALK to her. Advise her about unwanted pregnancies, std's, possible violent acts that can occur, etc. The thing is, with most STD's, you can treat the problem. With violence, yes, there will be a recovery, but you don't want to set up a pattern, but with an unwanted pregnancy, there are few choices - abort the baby, keep and raise the baby, or place the baby for adoption. All three are painful for a 15 year old. Make your daughter feel secure, so she doesn't need to seek out this "sneaky" affection elsewhere. Many teens equate physical "love" with emotional love, and their minds aren't mature enough to sort out the difference and the responsibilities that go with sex, nudity and heavy petting.

Answer 2

Do not make a big deal out of it - better speak to her as a mother/friend and not a mother who is about to kill her - Ask her why she would invite a boy over when she knew that you would not be home - why did she feel that she had to lie and do it behind your back? Does she not trust you enough to come and talk to you about a boy? Ask her if this is her boyfriend and that if she is interested in a boy she needs to talk to you first because you understand that she is going to be attracted to the opposite sex and that as a growing teenager she is going to be experiencing certain feelings and that you are there to guide her and help her out. Talk to her about the importance of trust between a mother and a daughter, the same way between friends. Let her see that you were also 15 at one time in your life and that you do know how it feels to want to be with a boy - in conclusion, take this opportunity to open a new door, the door to dealing with a teenage daughter and also talking about sex and all the other "girl" stuff that we must face - do not make it seem like it was right what she did, but instead that you understand why she did it but that she cannot do it again - if she wants to see a boy or has a boyfriend you are willing to work things out where everyone is happy and does not feel uncomfortable. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Most children know that it is "wrong" to have a boy in the house while their parents are not there.
Believing otherwise, is just naive on our parts.
And, although most mothers want to be "nice" sometimes you have to set boundaires ans stick with them and not allow a "I did not know that is what you really mean... "
response to become a loopole.
I am not saying, blow up.
You should not.
But, don't take this casually, as if she was somehow a misguided little girl.
That won't help.
Yes, ask her what she was thinking.
Tell her all the prementioned things.
Remind her that 15years old boy, no matter how charming, will eventually want to take advantage of their alone time.
Any way it goes,
a written list of rules and guidelines with their corresponding consequences would be a good thing.
If she likes this boy, I would recommend courting or group dating.
Now, I know that courting is looked upon as "old fashioned."
B In any case, set some dating guidelines.
1. Must be in public places for dates,
2. number of dates per week
3. must be with a group
4. parents must know where you are
5. no more than ten minutes late,
6. must always call if plans change and (ask permission) not just inform,
7. Must stick to the plans of the date
8. so much time at either house with parents
10. if you don't mind your daughter having sex, must promise to use protection or go with you to Dr. for pill

There are just some to make you think of guidelines so that the dating does not get out of hand.
And, no I am not just talking about physical.
We can emotionally, as women, give way too much of ourselves and this can result to us having low confidence and esteem, as well as us altering our career and family goals for a man.
JMHO!

Answer 4

Be the parent. Realistically, if she's gonna, she's gonna. But you can lay down the law about what happens under your own roof. You can also inform her about birth control and her chances of getting pregnant (100%). If the guy has to work at finding a place, he's more likely to either not do it or to stick around if she does get pregnant. You do NOT have to say "oh well, it was bound to happen." You've heard the saying that men want what they can't have, so make your daughter more inaccessable and he'll be positive that she's the one he wants forever, and that's what dating is all about, isn't it?

Answer 5

I would be doing some serious talking. Boy/girl alone?? I would talk to her about what could happen while you are alone. Baby??? AIDS? HIV?? STD's? I would be talking about EVERYTHING. ASAP!!! I need to write a book so when parents get in situations like this they can just unleash me on the child. lol....I am glad I am close to my daughter. I talk to her about everything. I would rather her learn things from me than to get knowledge from the street that isn't right.

Children fail to realize, especially our young girls that boys do rape girls. No matter how good you know a person. If a boy is hot and wants to have sex some of them don't know how to take no for an answer. This is what is really scary about the situation for our young girls.

Answer 6

Ground her. But I would also invite the boy and his parents over so I can atleast meet them. Let his parents know that it is unacceptable for him to be there when your not home, but your willing for him to come over when you are home. It's time for that birds and the bees talk. Bottom line you don't won't your daughter sneaking around so it would be better to find a way were you two can talk without her feeling like you don't understand her . Good Luck.

Answer 7

Face it. She is becoming a woman. She will be exploring no matter what you say or do. You need to face up and understand that she IS going to do all the things you once did plus more. You as the parent should educate her about sex and condoms and think about getting her on birth control. No you don't have to say its ok to do these things but you have to keep her informed and make sure she doesn't get pregnant at 15. They start early now adays so be careful. If they don't know about sex and STDs ect you are not doing your job as a parent!

Answer 8

You should find out the age of the boy, if he's over 18 and date your daughter you can report him to the police. If not, you can just advice her on safety practice of sex. Meet the boy yourself, tell him in his face that this behavior is not allowed under your roof.

Answer 9

Make sure she knows the rules of the house. "No boys in the house when you are not there." Then, let her know exactly what the punishment will be if she breaks that rule in the future, for example grounding her for a certain length of time. You can do this in a non-confrontational way by having a discussion with her about why it's unacceptable for that to occur.

If you had already expressed that rule to her in the past, then now's the time to follow through with the punishment.

Answer 10

I told my daughter that trust is important in all relationships.I asked her what happened if questions.What if this boy hit you or the house caught fire and he died or if you got sexually assulted?I told her if she sneaks and deceives it doesn't show that I'm good at being a parent and I wouldn't want her kids to do it to her.Then,I asked her why she felt the need to lie.Was I too strict?Was it exciting to do something she knew was wrong?Do you not care enough to go against my wishes and rules?
It all makes a kid think and reason on their own.
I asked what SHE thought I should do about it.....and she grounded herself for two weeks.no t.v.,no phone,and no computer.She even apologized.And that took alot.I was impressed.Try it-talk till you're blue in the face with kids and let them talk back.They're worth it.