Been asked to be a?

Question

Coffin bearer at my mates funeral next week am still to upset at his passing AS HE WAS MATE OF 42 YEARS all the other lads have said yes and they are still asking me what do i do HELP

Answer 1

What better way to honor your friend than to carry him to his last resting place? Say yes for all of the good times you had together.

Answer 2

Yes losing someone close is always hard. I have lost friends and family in my life. I don't look forward to anyones funeral. However if you have the chance to stand by your mate one more time in a respectful and honorable manner as this, I would do it for the honor. It will help you now and in the future . Also it will help others who are watching that you don't even know. The healing process is just that a process. Start yours and step up to the honor of saying goodbye the right way. Of course if this is just to painful for you, don't let me or anyone else make you feel bad if you just can't do this. Life is different for everyone. Live life and be happy.

Answer 3

You have been honored to be asked. Think of it this way, he is unable to go to his final resting place. You have been asked to help your friend and he is trusting you and honored to know that he has not misplaced in trust. I realize that you were taken by surprise by this sudden death. And your grief has just begun. But your grief is about you, thinking about your own loss. He is in a good place in spirit and if your beliefs are in God; you will see him again. Remember the good things and the memories that you both share. You are a better person because you have known him, as he is also. He has been called to go home and be with the Lord. His reward for a well lived life. That life was shared with you and the others who have been honored and attend his funeral. Be strong for the family, be the mate he always knew. Good luck.

Answer 4

I had to be a coffin bearer at my grandfathers funeral, I was upset but glad to be asked and fladly did it. Made me feel more oart of the service and that i was saying goodbye to him by helping him move about on his final day (sounds weird, I know)

Answer 5

Explain to them that this is not something you feel up to doing, that you really want to be there for your friend but you don't feel stable enought to do this.
But
If the reason you do not want to do this is a fear of showing your emotions in front of people or crying while carring the casket then you should know that nobody will think you are weak or girly, everyone is emotional at funerals it is expected.
You wont drop the casket, there are other people holding it.

Answer 6

Read all these answers here. We are with you and supporting you with everything we have. The suggestions to go ahead and do it are the best as that will help you to deal with it. You can break down and cry with his other mates and that is OK too. Hope you get through this and are able to cope. It can make you crazy with emotion to try and deal with this but push ahead.

Answer 7

By being a coffin bearer, you will be honoring your mate.

Answer 8

It honors your mate's memory, his family and your remaining mate's. So brink a hanky, wear some dark glasses and do it or you'll regret it. I was the pall bearer for my mother who died on Christmas day and if I can do it and get through it, you can to. So sorry for your loss!!

Answer 9

You should think long and hard about what you want to do your mate would have understood if you dont feel right about this decision then you should bow out gracefully ....it could have a neative effect on you if your still heavily grieving blss you death is a tough thing to come to terms with ...

Answer 10

The last good turn you can do for your mate is to put your shoulder under one corner of his coffin and help him on his way. Would he have done it for you?