My fiance and I dated for 4 years and were engaged for 2 of them. We had a great relationship throughout, with some tensions due to his overbearing mother who he cant say no to. We moved into apt last Jan and 3 months b4 the wedding he suddenly called it off saying he 'wasn't ready' and he was confused (we were bickering for the past 3 months). He moved out and back home. B/c of my begging and promises to change he kept coming and leaving again 4 times over the space of a month, until finally I moved out of our apt and back home at my mothers. I packed my bags and moved to another country to get over the devastation of a cancelled engagement and heartbreak, and within the last month have just started to heal. He says he is sorry and that he is made a huge mistake but it is very hard to have romantic feelings for him now after what he did to me. Am i being petty and holding a grudge? Should I just chalk it up to tempoary insanity on his part, focus on the good times and take him back?
2007-01-22 03:14:07 · 14 answers · asked by Dazed and Confused in Paradise! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has apologized profusely after he came to his sense, both while I was in my native country and since I have been abroad. Also, he has been so generous, taking care of all of my financial obligations at home (student loans, credit cards etc) from his salary while I get my bearings in my new country. He truly is an amazing person, and has always been so generous and patient. His bad points? He is terribly indecisive, and something of a doormat -traits that have always irritated me during our 6 yr courtship. I am torn between a second chance at life with a new, yet to be met man of my dreams, or a settle life of domesticity with a man who has already disappointed me and has proved to be something of a flake.
2007-01-24 04:12:48 · update #1
say good bye to his sorry AXX
2007-01-22 03:17:23 · answer #1 · answered by julia1975 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts and Experience with these things are; "Absence makes the Heart grow fonder" AND *If it didn't work the first time it won't work the 2nd*.
When one Truly Loves another and it doesn't work out and everyone goes their seperate ways, it's pretty usual to look back on the Positives of that Relationship, and grieve for the losses, even wish to have those things back. It's hard to accept sometimes that a deep Love just isn't right for ourselves.
When one works hard at anything and gives their all to it and isn't successfull, it's time to move on to something one can be better at. Whether it's a job, a course in college, a relationship, or anything else. No one is good at everything. And not every relationship can work out no matter how much Love there is or may be.
My thoughts on your situation as you have described it (realizing I am not you and that this is your decision to make), are that > your Trust in this person was betrayed. Trust once broken is hard if not impossible to repair. After all the Time and Effort invested, ya'll Chose to seperate.
Were this me I would stick by my decision, stay out of touch with this tender unhealed part of my Life ie This person, work on healing and moving forward. He may be "sorry" since your absence and his Heart has grown fonder, but the possibility is pretty great that you could end up sorrier then he is now if you let him back again.
You can and will after healing Love again.
Blessings~ Suniday
2007-01-22 03:36:29 · answer #2 · answered by suniday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would give him one more chance. this recently happened between me and my bf. he, like your fiance, said he wasnt' sure what he wanted and needed some space. he came back, said he was sorry. and now we are both fine again. sometimes you both need to just step back and take a look at the relationship and your life. and maybe you both need to make some changes in the way you treat each other (to avoid falling into the same ritual of arguing over things that don't really matter.) it will work out, so i would give him one more chance. just make sure to make it a point to him that you won't put up with this a second time, and keep your guard up for awhile. that way he won't think he can just put you through this and you will come straight back to him whenever he gets cold feet.
2007-01-22 03:20:38 · answer #3 · answered by *~HoNeYBeE~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me you made a great effort to move on and to forget him, are you willing to give that all up and take a risk again? Seems when things got difficult he bailed out, and his mom can still control him. As much as this hurts you I feel he is not the best choice for you. You sound like a very loving person who is sensitive and he took advantage of this. Please find a man that will appreciate you for all the good you are. Good luck to you!
2007-01-22 03:25:52 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! You adult males have an somewhat unique and uncommon love, it extremely is totally specific. after all this time it only looked such as you 2 only had some transforming into as much as do and it variety of feels which you the two have. pondering the reality that he replaced into your first and you have been waiting to maintain in touch is a plus, by way of fact no one each and every truthfully marries their first or perhaps communicate to them! destiny has a manner of working like that and you will be able to't blame your self for feeling the variety you probably did. You had each and every outstanding to to react and look after your injury on your guy or woman way. you recognize that old saying, if it replaced into meant to be you will locate your some time past to eachother? properly, you only did! solid success and it is going to likely be greater effective the 2nd time around.
2016-12-16 10:39:09 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you are being petty. Six years is a long time to invest in a relationship, be engaged, and then him figure he's not ready. His problem is that you moved on... good for you!!! Just find someone who is ready to be with you.
2007-01-22 03:20:59 · answer #6 · answered by surelycoolgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be temporary insanity on your part to take him back. Unless his mom is dead. You gave up six years of your life for this mommas boy are you anxious to try for another six? Its not a grudge to learn from your mistakes and he was one of them. You do know that when his mom calls him back he will go, you learned that before, you want a refresher course, go back to him.
The only thing worse than staying single is marrying the wrong man.
2007-01-22 03:20:02 · answer #7 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
two questions
Can you live without him?
Do you want to die an old maid?
His mother will always come first.
I don't know what you got from this relationship, but sounds like he had all the benefits of marriage without any of the responsibilities. He likes status quo.
2007-01-22 03:24:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just let this guy go, he hurt you and now after healing your feelings have changed for him, its hard to ever regain those orignal feeling again even if you could at all. so i say get out and find yourself a good man and be happy.
2007-01-30 00:51:37 · answer #9 · answered by bshelby2121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out why he dumped you in the First place.Than decide what to do.Ask yourself if its worth the Heartbrake and Pain that comes with it
2007-01-22 03:39:58 · answer #10 · answered by rhoda c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant help how you feel about someone but if i were you i would think about this and take it slow, DO NOT RUSH this relationship or it will be over again before it starts . good luck
2007-01-30 03:13:56 · answer #11 · answered by Mark 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋