Can someone please help me help a friend? My co-worker/friend is having some real serious issues going on right now that I am having a hard time helping her with. What's happening is the guy she has been seeing on and off for some years married someone else even though he has never stopped seeing/communicating with her. I know she is distraught because she has done so much for this guy. Even waited on him for 8 years while he was incarcerated. In my opinion she has never been #1 in his life even though she acts like they just have this inseparable relationship. She always said things to his past girlfriends like he's not going anywhere and she's not either, etc. (almost with an arrogant tone). when I try to tell her he's just using her and if he loved her he wouldn't have never married another woman. Especially one that he hasn't known as long as he has had history with her. Maybe if she saw other responses, she wouldn't just think I was hating on her.
2007-01-22 03:10:58 · 5 answers · asked by stella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's a sad state of affairs. I had a friend who acted similarly - wasted 8 yrs of her life on someone who would never invite her to his place, meet his friends, etc. Of course it turns out he got married and has a child...he's lied to her and said it's a marriage of convenience. She's believed him. I finally told her that since I care so much about her as a friend, and she and I will disagree with her still seeing him, we really can't discuss him any longer. She knows I think she's just hurting herself (and now an innocent child), but she continues to give him her love, time, etc. We just agree to disagree on this topic and do not discuss him at all.
2007-01-22 03:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by lma0814 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing you can do now is just continue to be her friend , your not gonna change her feelings but maybe if she reads some answers it might help her to feel better ,people go through this kind of thing every day i would say that any guy that leads a girl on that way isnt worth the time and she should try to focus on friends that will be there for her
2007-01-22 11:20:26 · answer #2 · answered by dawgie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's seems to have been patient enough to wait for a guy for 8 years. He obviously didn't appreciate that and it wasn't meant to be but she should be happy that the time wasted was only a test for herself because if she were to have married him things could get worse and they would end up divorced. I'm sure that there's a great guy for her out there that has been waiting for years for her and they'll end up meeting soon.
2007-01-22 11:19:46 · answer #3 · answered by ♪ Tony's girl ♪ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like your friend can't see the forrest for the tree's. I'm sorry for you more than her. Because you're trying to help her and she ain't getting it. Some people love misery. Maybe your friend is one of those people. Without problems and stress they can't make it.
Bet you anything, after reading all of these post that make perfect sence, she'll still be a fool for this thoughtless dog.
2007-01-22 11:17:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so right, but only she can let it go. I think sometimes after investing so much of your heart and soul in a loser like this, it seems like you have wasted all these years. My only advice is...DON"T WASTE ANYMORE!!! Move on, there are some wonderful men out there that will love and respect her, and not even have a criminal record! Good luck.
2007-01-22 11:16:29 · answer #5 · answered by Bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋