my boyfriend went to a stripclub 1 day with his male buddies and he came and told me that one day. he says he visited there but didnt get lapdance..whatever, but i didnt like it at all and i scolded him. wat do u think? is it ok? i got hurt a lot when i heard this. not because i felt insecure and i don't trust him but because i i love him a lot and i expect him to be loyal with me. what does it mean? is he not loyal?
2007-01-22 03:03:51 · 13 answers · asked by me... 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sounds like you are insecure about his feelings for you. my bf, has been to stripclubs with his mates, and has told me all about them, just because he looks it does not mean he wants to touch, most girls in those places either do it for the money so are not interested in the customers, or they are just 'that sort of girl' which I am sure your boyfriend is not interested in if you have a good relationship. the fact that he told you means he wants you to know what he has done which means you can trust him and he is being loyal to you - he did not have to tell you after all.
2007-01-22 03:10:07 · answer #1 · answered by happy girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My personal opinion is that if a guy has a girlfriend why would he NEED to go to strip clubs. Im not sure how your relationship is sexually but if you do that stuff then he gets a pretty awesome sight for free! Why pay to see a bunch of strangers in nothing and pay them to look sexy and turn you on and not get anything out of it (if ya know what I mean) when he can just come home and have a look at his girlfriend and have a little fun while he's at it. Even if you don't do that stuff it's disrespectful to you. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. So I think you should have a problem with it and it is definitely not controlling if you ask your boyfriend to stop going and looking at other women naked. Good luck!
2016-05-24 17:46:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be a two-way street. Be careful! Watch the regularity of these trips with his buddies! Some, if not few of these visits, rarely turn up positive results at home. If in your case he comes home horny and ready to have sex with you, and you are also satisfied with this outcome, then it should be just for this purpose! But if he is coming home drunk and ready to go to bed, I would be raising a red flag! Talk to him about why he is going out with his buddies to a strip club instead of inviting you to tag along with him every now and then? See what's really ticking and going on inside his mind verses just the outward appearances. Make sure he doesn't stay out all morning and coming home just before the break of dawn...good luck to you!
2007-01-22 03:14:50 · answer #3 · answered by HotInTX 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this is a case of him not loving you. He was probably under a bit of pier pressure and curious. The fact that he came to you and told you means that you don't really have much to worry about. It's the ones that dont who are a bit iffy!!
Why dont you offer to go with him next time and gage his response?
As long as he didn't have anything other than a dance I think it's okay. To be honest many lapdancers (I know a few) are in relationships, have children and are surprisingly loyal.
But.......
If you are feeling this strong about the situation then sit down together NOT ROWING and calmly tell him that you are hurt and will forget it this once but ask him to respect your wishes and not go again.
Hope it helps.
2007-01-22 03:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by Me! 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't think that going to a strip club makes him unloyal, but I do understand how you would be upset. It's hard to think about your guy looking at other women or having another woman in his lap. I wouldn't get too angry with him about it because looking is not cheating. Let him know that you don't like it at all and he should respect your feelings by not going again. When my boyfriend and I have talked about this issue I told him that if he can go see naked women, then I can go see male strippers. The idea of me looking at other naked guys made him see it from my point of view and has been enough for him not to go.
2007-01-22 03:19:57 · answer #5 · answered by Amber M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your statements:
not because i felt insecure and i don't trust him
and
but because i i love him a lot and i expect him to be loyal with me
are at odds with each other. How can you say you trust him but feel he might not be loyal?
I wouldn't really get bent out of shape about it, although I would talk to him about boundaries.
Just wait until he finds out what you did to some male stripper at a friend's bachelorette party one day. You'll forgive him for this then.
2007-01-22 03:10:18 · answer #6 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It does make you feel insecure and you don't like it. It does not mean he does not love you, however if he continues to visit these places, chances are he will give in to a lap dance or two. You will have to eather accept it, or tell him your feelings. If he continues to go then I think you should start looking for another bf. He is too young to be tied down.
2007-01-22 03:09:54 · answer #7 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He's loyal... especially if he told you about it! Strip clubs to guys are like malls to girls, especially when there are friends involved. When he's going alone and not telling you is when you should be worried. Keep your confidence up, that's what men are attracted to the most.
2007-01-22 03:14:45 · answer #8 · answered by Mindy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
my other half asked me last week if i might if he goes 2 a strip club i said no, but i think i do. What made me feel a bit better was that he told me and ask me about it. its natural and its ok, u r lucky that he told u abt it. try not 2 worry u will only get wringles and grey hair....aint worth it.
2007-01-22 03:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by aarti 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
At least he told you about it and was not trying to hide it. He must care for you. If he does it frequently I might get concerned. If he does go again make sure he comes by and sees you later. He should be in the mood for some fun.
2007-01-22 03:14:28 · answer #10 · answered by Blue-Eyed Guy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋