really wants to be with me. any advice for me
2007-01-22 02:51:39 · 13 answers · asked by cassie s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just do not trust anybody I don't, trust anybody except for my boyfriend because he give me great advice of everything that I need to know it is going to take some time for that to be over but you will find someone out there that you can trust.
2007-01-22 02:58:00 · answer #1 · answered by j13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard when someone you care for breaks the trust issue. When you've been hurt it takes a while for you to put your trust back into a relationship. If it were me, I would be honest with the guy you have an interest in and start out as friends and not jump into a sexual relationship at first (that's if you're looking for a long term relationship) Like the old saying goes, once you've had sex with someone, you can't go back to just holding hands. Trust has to be earned no matter what your relationship is going to be ( friends, girlfriends/boyfriends) Friendship first makes for better relationships later. You have to get to know a person before you're able to trust them. There isn't a rush to get into a relationship with anyone. Give yourself some time, go out as friends for a while, until you feel you can trust that person. If it leads to something that's lasting then good, if you remain friends you've lost nothing but you have gained a friend. Good luck.
2007-01-22 03:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through. But you have to realize that not all guys are bad. My ex literally tried to kill me when I wouldn't be with him and cheat on his new girlfriend after he was abusive to me when we were together. (I was 15, he was 17.) Yeah, he was a total psycho! And that stuck with me for a long time. I didn't really date anyone for almost 5 years. I went out on a few "dates" in between that time, but I was too scared and missed out on a few genuinely good guys. But I found someone perfect right before I turned 20, and I couldn't be happier! You will get over it in time. Just give yourself a moment to really look into the kind of person this guys truly is. That is the only thing other than time that is going let yourself get into a relationship without so much baggage. Once you know you can trust him, you can relax and enjoy what could possibly be a lasting relationship.
2007-01-22 03:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of us throw up walls to help us with the grieving process. And ending a relationship requires that time. The difficulty is then being able to take the wall down again once the grief has passed.... assuming that you LET the grief pass. Some like the world to know that they've been hurt. They play the victim in a relationship, and then when it is over they continue that role to any new prospects. A hard habit to break! Your new guy MAY have just seen you as 'his piece of *** for the night', but I doubt it. He is probably just confused. Guys get like that. You tell him that you cannot allow yourself to be intimate with him (on whatever level you had reached) because of past hurt. He then gives you his take - 'can't be with anyone that has walls up' coz he wants you to use that as a spur to open up and let him close. He is trying to say 'trust me'. He needs to say that you have to start trusting people again at some point or your life will be dull and grey and more than a little paranoid. He then sees you on a date with some other guy, dancing and being intimate (can't help it at least looking like that if you're dancing), so he throws a wobbler... "She can't allow me in but she does for this random bloke....." runs through his head. So he gets annoyed and/or frustrated because he DOES care for you and he wanted to be in that position himself... dancing with you. And so he reacts. Badly, probably. And then you have doubts and more about yourself - and about him. Do you care about him? I am guessing that you do, otherwise why ask this question, right?? If you do... talk openly and honestly about what is going on. He will see that as beginning to heal, beginning to open up and trust again... beginning to get a life again, and not blaming him for the actions of the last dikhed you dated.
2016-05-24 17:43:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't pigeon-hole all guys. Just because you meet a jerk, does not mean they all are jerks.
Look at it this way, you now know what signs to look for in someone who isn't honest, truthful and caring.
You took the fall, are healing and now can spot these players a mile away... right!!!!!!!
If something doesn't seem or feel right trust your own inner instincts and back away. Too many people get involved with people who immediately put you on guard and raise your subconscious red flags, I DON'T KNOW WHY, MAYBE FOR THE THRILL!!!!.
Don't go along like you don't know any better, or just don't care.
Do something about it.
Don't go for a stroll down the garden path with blinders on.
Open your eyes to people how they speak to you and others, how they treat their families., the respect they show authority... their kindness, there sincerity and their moral judgments(biggie)
If you are taking anything that just happens to come along without digging deep, you are bound for failure.
If you take the initiative and find out about who they are before jumping in with both feet, I think you will shy away from the bad ones and meet and date nicer people.
They don't have to be a bad boy to make you happy.
Quieter shy ones always have a trick up their sleeve and are just itching for someone to give them a chance to show themselves.
Be selective and keep your eyes wide open.
Someone who is trustworthy will show you upfront who he is, people who are deceptive show their true colours without even trying.
Take a chance on life, you can't keep cooped up, get out there and do the detective work...
2007-01-22 03:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you gotta trust yourself enough to make the right choices. People get hurt in relationships quite a bit, that's how you learn what you like and don't like, what you will and will not tolerate and how to co-exist on an intimately emotional level....you also learn how to make love and relationships work......you can't let an individual incident stop you from obtaining what will be a wonderful gift once found, your true mate. Once you find the person you are destined to be with everything will fall into place....just don't give up. Be smart enough to see things that are right in front of your face but be wise enough to know what you're looking at. Hope this helps.....
2007-01-22 03:01:30 · answer #6 · answered by Red 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've been there once and it doesn't feel good. but this is only the beginning. one day the right guy will come along and no matter how badly hurt you were, he'd learn to heal your wound. no matter how hard it'd be, he'd make you trust him. when you really love someone, you'll trust them. now you might think you'll never fall in love again, but trust me, you will. if your ex hurt you, that means he's not good enough for you. he doesn't know how to love you the way he should. and that means, he's not worth it. there's no reason why you should destroy your own life just because some stupid guy didn't know how to treasure you. you'll realize this when you get over him. and you definitely will.
2007-01-22 03:00:02 · answer #7 · answered by kill.me.slowly. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to give every guy his own chance to win your heart. Do not compare the other guys to the man that broke your heart that will ruin the relationship before it starts. I know it is hard to trust people again but so you have to take it slow and not open up at first. Trust your instincts if you feel like the guy is not right for you then he is not.
2007-01-22 02:58:30 · answer #8 · answered by badazz_51 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have the same problems and I think you need to heal you first before you can open up to someone else. A person also has to earn your trust. Once you have a clear idea of where you stand then you will know who is good for you or not. Take care of you first.
2007-01-22 02:57:23 · answer #9 · answered by b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
long time relationship gain trust
2007-01-22 02:56:50 · answer #10 · answered by lakshmi b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋