i'm getting married next mon and yes i know what i'm getting into marrying a man with baggage but still would like advice.my bfs ex still loves him(he left her but not for me)after being divorced for 4yrs and makes my life hell because of this.shes also jealous that we are happy together and she has yet to find anyone.the problem is they have a child sam together(joint custody but sam lives with mom)and she lives local so we have to deal with her almost daily.at school/sports functions she makes it very clear i'm not welcome to the point its embarrassing thats how bad it is.my bf becuase of sam will not say a word to her about this in fear it will upset sam so he just goes along with what ever she does.there is no talking to my bf about this as he has told me she is a b-tch and will not change.so i'm to live with it or get out hes told me.can stepmoms/moms please tell me how i can learn to live with her for the next 10yrs?(sams only 8rs old)is my only hope she might get married soon?
2007-01-22 02:31:10 · 6 answers · asked by bettylou678 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Cassiopeia..........your response was idiotic so we are gonna ignore you.......
"live with it or get out" is pretty harsh. I've been married 9 yrs to a man that has 2 kids from an ex-gf.....and I've never heard that come out of his mouth. You said you know what you are getting into but I hate to tell you.......it gets worse. You didn't mention how your sson acts towards you. All I can tell you is this: make sure you have a REALLY good friend who will listen to you, be nice to your sson no matter how much you might want to be rude (hey--even our biological kids make us snap- so don't any of y'all act like you don't know what I'm talking about) and ignore her. When you go to a game, pretend she isn't there. If she gets loud tell her "You really should stop the dramatics. You look so out of control, I'm embarrassed for you" But say it in the SWEETEST little voice you can muster. I'm telling you, all you gotta do is stand back, be nice and she will self destruct. What she wants is to get to you...........and you're letting her. Don't give her the control or the satisfaction. Your sson already has 2 parents that sound immature........don't add to it. He deserves better than that. Good Luck!
2007-01-22 02:59:28 · answer #1 · answered by yeah, yeah, yeah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
concealed respond to you is what bothers me. being that this isn't his first marriage he's conscious that the turning out to be a member of of the two should not be seperated by using outsidees. i.e. the ex. sorry in step with courtroom order Dad is entiltled to work out his son. What ur bf desires to do is placed his foot down with the ex yet no longer in front of the youngster. make touch along with her on the minimum u can attend the activities yet u dont could be close to her. the reason she acts so harshley is bc the bf has no longer placed her in bher place so even nonetheless u are engaged she beleives she nevertheless has of project on the grounds that he has no longer made ur thoughts off limits. now. if this is how he feels approximately u in this situation i wish this is the only do no longer forget that has conflicts and u can get by using it mutually. if no longer the indications and indicators are there and u greater advantageous heed them now in the previous u get into something that u cant back far flung from.
2016-10-31 23:54:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your BF is the only one who can help you. I think also, that the child, who is probably stuck in the inevitable ping pong of divorce anyway, has a right to know what is going on in the mysterious world of separated parents and new "mums". If I were you, it would be a high priority for the BF to make a stand against his ex. It is not her place to exclude you from hers and your partner's child just because she is jealous. Sam will have to get to know you at one stage or another, and maybe you should make it more clear to her that she is actually making things more difficult for Sam to cope with by trying to exclude you, and creating a bad atmosphere for a relationship between you and her. Sam already has to cope with a rift between his mum and dad, the last thing he needs is ANOTHER rift between his mum and stepmum.
Get dad to deal with it, ASAP. Or drop him.
2007-01-22 02:48:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in kinda of the same situation. The ex is nice to my face but lets me know on a daily basis she is the mother it doesn't help the step daughter is 12 and i think she is being mean to me because of her mom. my fiance's mom undermines everything I do with his daughter i gain two inches and get thrown back 10. It is very frustrating. I told my mom if me and my fiance break up it won't be his fault it will be his moms and his daughters. Good luck and god bless don't let it stress you out if it gets to you get out now don't get married just to get divoriced in 2 yrs or whatever down the road.
2007-01-22 08:51:04 · answer #4 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband to be can't stand up to his ex, what kind of backbone will he have when bigger problems arise.
This is not about his ex, this is about his inability to take a stand. He will not hurt his son by putting her in her place!!!!! It has nothing to do with his son.
If he is telling you to accept it or leave... helloooooo... why is he being so harsh with the woman he loves and is going to marry.
I am sorry but you are in for much bigger problems with him.
He is telling you right out if you can't accept the choices he makes right or wrong. scr*w you.. basically, that is what he is saying.
You are making a big mistake and I think you will regret it.
You can't cure his problem with his son getting older. The son doesn't have the problem, the father does.
Call it off......
2007-01-22 02:41:17 · answer #5 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a really big problem because it is up to your husband to tell his ex to back off. He is not much of a man if he won't do it. His main loyalty should be to you. Think carefully about marrying this man if he will not step up and do what's necessary. Believe me, you are heading for a lifetime of misery.
2007-01-22 02:39:20 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋