Relationship help!!!!!!?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for around 18mths now, it's always been a rocky relationship. I cheated on him 6mths ago n told him with more or less a guy I'm never gonna c again, he cheated on me on told me about a month later with a girl he works with and still works with. We argue all the time now but there is love there, wat do we do we have a holiday booked in March and he has been a great model for my five year old daughter.
As well though I've been talkin to my x he has told me he is in love with me and I do feel I have very strong feelings for him but is this cause my relationship is such as mess, it never worked the first time because we was both on the rebound?
What do I do, do I try make my realtionship work, try with the other guy or be on my own?

My daughter is the most important thing in my life and I am a good mum to her regardless.
I'm not scared of being on my own I did it for two years and it showed me whats important in life, I intended to be on my own until I found the right guy which I thought I had

Answer 1

You should first be on your own and think what is really important for you.

Seems this relationship is not going to work longer.....

Good luck,

Answer 2

Hi!,

I think one of the main reasons the relationship with the new guy is not working out is because he as well as you think that you folks could just tell each other that you cheated on each other could just solve the problem, giving you and him more and more excuses to cheat anyway.

Let me also let you in one little secret, a relationship takes time to work out, it is never like u see in the movies, so give ur ex another chance, he deserves it, so do you deserve a better life filled with happiness rather than arguing and walking with the guilt of cheating each other anyway.

You deserve better than this and right now you ex is the answer to that happy life,think no more, your boy friend might be an excellent model for your daughter, but the argument you folks isn't, so go ahead join your ex and have a happy life for yourself and your daughter.

Answer 3

this has been a question i have had forever, how can you love two ppl at once? if you love either of them how could you cheat? i think you have no clue on what you want and now your confused and trying to control a relationship which you lost all control when you cheated. this will never work you both were unfaithful and the trust went out the window. you should be a better role model for your child because everything she sees you do she will do in the long run. just put your self in her shoes what would you tell your daughter if she was in this same situation? i think you should take time away from both of them and figure out what you really want and what makes you and your daughter happy. i wish you the best of luck and for the future never ever cheat on the one you love. it will bite you in the *** later in life. make your peace with these men and move on do you for once and just be happy with yourself. it's hard to do but worth every sad day till you get happy.

Answer 4

Well, you have both cheated, so the love can't be altogether too intense. There is no level of commitment. Continuing to work with someone he has already been involved with will always cause relationship struggles. I think you both have feelings for one another, but they aren't the kind of feelings you build a future on. I think you should be on your own. You need to not date someone, while you are trying to surmise what it is you want in a relationship, and what qualities you deserve and desire.
Together or not, if you still want to go on the holiday, and he does too...go! Mature people can still enjoy one anothers company, even if the relationship has a different title. Just look at him and ask yourself if he is who you want you and your child to spend forever with. If you cannot say yes without a doubt, then it is time to find your true soul mate...who should also be a true friend.
I wish you well...

Answer 5

Well from the sounds of this, neither you or your boyfriend are ready to settle down. You cheated, he cheated.....no trust in the realationship. He still works with his "fling" so the temptation is still there. You are talking to your ex that you admit to having strong feelings for him. Something is bound to happen again whether you cheat or your boyfriend does. My opinion, is that you guys just break up. If neither of you can stay faithful, then why be together? I also feel it's more of a lust situation than love. If you love someone, you are loyal to them. Not telling your EX that you still have strong feelings for them. Also, if you are having these internal conflicts: "should I stay with him", "Should I leave him"...etc.....it obviously means something. Just be single for a bit. See whats out there. Maybe then you will find someone you really love and be loyal to. Also, think how your child must feel seeing mommy with these different guys. You need to take her feelings into consideration too. She is also old enough to see what mommy is going through. Good Luck hon!

Answer 6

Girl, it sounds like you gotta a mess going on first of all. I cant tell you what to do or know that you'll listen, but you gotta get out of the relationship your in. I know there is love there but there is to many unresolved issues and your gonna just keep hurting one another until one of ya get tired of it sweet. I know its gonna be so hard to let it go, any relationship that you've been in for a while is. Its more the getting use to the guy not being there everyday, but if you can be strong for a few months, the pain will ease away. You'll always care about him but you'll be able to move on eventually and he will too. I think you need some time to figure out who your are and what you want outta life. you have plenty of time to fall in love again, Just be there for your baby girl she'll help pass time. As for the other man just be friends for now or it could end up to be your relationship now.It never hurts to have peaple to lean on but you need some you time. I don't know everything going on, i could be wrong from what you stated this is my opinion, I hope you find strength within yourself to get you through all this crazyness, good luck andtalk to a best friend about it, she knows you best after all.

Answer 7

Did he cheat on you because you cheated on him? In which case you're even, but you need to make sure what happened in the past stays in the past and that the reasons you cheated on one another are resolved.

As for your ex, you have to figure out what your feelings for him mean, no-one on this site can do that for you. Don't split up with the guy you're with only to find out that you and your ex split up for good reasons.

Should you just be on your own? Can you do the best of both worlds? Will he wait if you "go on a break" or will he do a Ross? If he'll wait, try being on your own for a couple of weeks, and spend that time trying to figure out what is best for you and your daughter.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Relationships are tough enough. A relationship without trust can't go anywhere. Only you can answer the important questions that need to be answered.

1) why did you cheat on him?
2) If you love him, then why cheat on him?
3) He cheated on you, can really trust him not to cheat again?
4) Why do you have feelings for you ex?
5) why do you argue? Are they really about what is going on at that moment, or are you arguing because of the lack of trust between you?

It sounds to me like you are very confused.
You need to think about yourself and your daughter, and what would be best for the both of you.

Answer 9

You prolly need to let em both go. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You reap what you sow.

Just let em both go and allow God to take control over that situation. All you have to do is pray about it, and the perfect man will come your way in due time. Be patient with it though. Just cuz a man is good with your child doesn't mean he's good for you. (i.e. you are not with your baby's daddy).

Sex clouds the issues at hand. Stop having it and maybe you will be able to see clearer into your future. Time is what you need, now give yourself some and leave both of those guys alone.

Answer 10

I would like to know how you are so sure that there is love in the relationship. Wasn't this one a rebound as well. Also, you have a five year old daughter. Do not look for a role model for your child, she needs a father figure in her life.
I think that you try to make your current relationship work and even if it doesn't work do not go back to your ex. He is your ex for a reason remember.

Answer 11

he probably only cheated on u cause u did him. sounds like ur'll b 4ever trying to get revenge on eachother and whilst he works with this girl ur'll never be happy or reassured. c how things go but keep ur eyes open 4 better offers. dont go backwards in life - only forwards. leave ex alone thats in past. take each day as it comes look out 4 someone new. u may have cheated but 2 wrongs dont make a right and that is not a good role model 4 ur child, as he obviously didnt 4give u and went out to kiss someone 4 revenge.