Have been with this guy for 6months and we are getting married later on this year. I do not believe in asking about past relationships, coz i think that the past is the past. But i cannot help to think weather he has had a gal before, the reason i dnt want to ask is i dont wanna talk abt mine, so i dnt think that its fair. We have share more than a kiss and a cuddle but it took him months to do so he is a bit shy, but he knew all the right places to touch etc. Is he a virgin or not??? When i asked him why it took so long to kiss me, he said that i cud have made the 1st move! what sud i think plz help!!!!
2007-01-22 01:58:30 · 24 answers · asked by aarti 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Forget about it and think about your future.
It is the only thing you can change...
Good luck
2007-01-22 02:01:29 · answer #1 · answered by Edu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that all relationships take honesty. If you don't talk about your past at all... then how do you know who the person you married really is? I am not saying give him a list of the men you've been with and tell him exactly what happened, but don't you think he has the right to know if you are a virgin and you know if he is one? Don't you think you should know about infedelity issues if he has had girlfriends in the past? You are walking around with blinders on because you are too scared to let him know the truth and you don't want to hear things about your man you didn't want to know. People don't change... traits that didn't show up before may re appear later on and it's gonna hit you like you ran into a brick wall. If you are mature enough to get married I think it's wise to discuss each others past. Past experiences make us who we are so it'd be good to know where he is comming from.
2007-01-22 02:05:44 · answer #2 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some very good guys are really shy with women. If this is something you want to know, you have to ask and then you have to be prepared to tell. However, does it really matter that much to you? I like your attitude that "the past is the past", but you can't have it both ways. REALLY think about whether it matters--and if it does matter, what are your motives in wanting to know? Examine your own feelings about this before asking the question. If you have had a lot of intimate relationships, it could be a big risk if he has not. Some of us are taught to be gentlemen. It can be hard to be a gentleman, a good guy and seeking a good relationship at the same time. With the use of "roofies" and the proliferation of date rape, good men have to be careful.
2007-01-22 02:07:12 · answer #3 · answered by David M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Past relationships can be hard to talk about and that's understandable but you have to remember you are going to marry this guy and you want to be completely honest with each other. You want to know about all the skeletons in his closet as well as he would you. There is a certain line that you don't want to cross and obviously you have some secrets too but just make sure that when there is something you really want to know that you don't hold back from it. Ask him, if it's really going to bother you not knowing then you should just be upfront and sit down and talk about it. It will feel a lot better to get it off your chest and then you won't have as much to worry about going into your commitment. Good luck.
2007-01-22 02:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right you, listen up. Do NOT listen to the other girls bleating on about how you don't know about his past blah blah blah. Seriously, you have had the exact right idea here. I always question when people (and it is usually women) HAVE to know every little detail about your exes etc etc.
I mean talk about low self esteem, they have to know everything about their guys ex so they can compare themselves and thier relationship, I just find that very very weird indeed.
Firstly, it's no one's business at all who you sleep with, or have relationships with, and secondly, why would you wanna know this stuff? Why would you wanna tell your dude this stuff?
And if you have never slept with him, so what? You love him enough to marry him , you aren't in a dream world like most of the population that think that marriage is about meeting 'the one' and having perfect sex and all that RUBBISH. Yeah, you could meet an amazing guy and have amazing sex and live happily ever after, and good on those of you that have that.
I see marriage as a sorta business arrangement. I fufill a certain role, my husband fills another, and yeah yeah it's old fashioned, but I thinkt hey were onto something in those days, after all, divorce rates were much lower than now, and how many happy old people do you see? They are everywhere, and oh so cute.
Nope, my friend, if it doesn't matter how many people you have slept with, then it doesn't matter how many he hasn't slept with, and if you really wanna know, ask him after you know he is definatley not a virgin anymore, save his blushes, and so he doesn't have to worry about you knowing on your wedding night.
You don't sound like an insecure controlling harpy who has to know everything about her man, so don't listen to those that are like that. They are nOT happy, trust me.
2007-01-22 02:17:42 · answer #5 · answered by CHARISMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy may not be a virgin. My bestfriend is the same way. We started talking, and we wanted to kiss each ohter, so I made the first move, because I knew about his past. Just like him, your guy could have had a bad previous relationship. Just ask him! If you are going to marry this guy, you should feel comfortble sharing things, or asking questions...that's what couples do.
2007-01-22 02:03:49 · answer #6 · answered by *+* Miss NATION*+* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's with you now and you're getting married this year. Does it really matter if he's a virgin or not? As you said yourself, what's in the past, is in the past. Look forward to the future you have together and don't dwell on what you cant change. All the best for the wedding
2007-01-22 02:02:46 · answer #7 · answered by hp25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my fella for 2 and a half years now, we were friends before we got together so I knew about his past girlfriends etc, it must be an awkward situation 2b in as u don't wanna talk about Ur past. It sounds like he isn't a virgin from what u have said, just go for it and ask him! Xx
2007-01-22 02:04:52 · answer #8 · answered by itsme.dobbers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me see: You think he should talk but you don't have to?
This is not a good sign for things to come. In a successful relationship,
you will both end up spilling virtually all of the beans - the ones you keep
back are the ones the other one really doesn't want to know about.
If you are serious about this relationship - YOU MUST TELL - at least
to the degree that he wants to know.
2007-01-22 02:02:14 · answer #9 · answered by Elana 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi aarti
It sounds to me like something from your past is worrying you still ..
you have the opportunity to leave the past behind you in your relationship with this guy.
He may well have good reason to do the same!
Stop beating yourself up, what does it matter?
Chanel some of that energy into positive thoughts instead
goodluck to you both
2007-01-25 15:25:28 · answer #10 · answered by healer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it is an unreasonable thing to ask your bf if he is a virgin or not, and if your not comfortable asking him then how can you be comfortable sleeping with him.
Dont worry about your past record just remember the rule, woment divide their number by 3 men multiply their number by 5 lol.
You need to know some idea of his sexual past just incase if you dont find out make sure you use protection, dont put your self at any risk its not worth it. xx
2007-01-22 02:05:17 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋