How do you find love for a step child that was not raised with responsibility like your own kids?

Answer 1

I was a step child who left my moms to have a better life with my father and step mother all i wanted was for her to love and accept me and treat me like she did her other children you don't know how important it is to a child to have that love obviously she wasn't getting the love that he or she needed from the biological mom or he or she wouldn't be with you now. This child needs you maybe more so then your own children do now. My advise you could never be this child's mom so don't try to be. Be there friend you have to get to know this person just like you have gotten to know your own children. Time will pass and you will grow to love this child just the same. In the end the relationship you have with him or her will be very special. Please be patient understanding and kind!

Answer 2

You are married to the child's father right.
If that's the case there should already be a base foundation of love for that child in your heart. If you love his/her father then you need to see in your heart that child is a part of him. And even though that child isn't responsible like your children if he/she is going to live with you now then this is your chance to bond and raise him/her into a better person. Then you love that child enough to raise him the best you can with what you have to work with.

Honestly, you should have met the child before you married and if you didn't care for the child when you were dating then you should never have decided to marry this man though.

Answer 3

Since when does loving a child require prerequisites? That is why it is called unconditional love. Think about you telling your biological children that you would love them ONLY if they scrub the toilets every day. Additionally, I have learned with three of my own and a step son that the minute you get self righteous about your own kids, you wind up eating crow. Kids certainly do humble you. And let me tell you, even 'perfect' kids are doing stuff you dont know about. My sis had awesome grades, went to church and youth group -- basically made me look like shi* but she was the one underage drinking, having premarital sex, staying out all night, etc.etc. My mom is still clueless and I am 32 and my sis is 19. Goes to show ya. Be careful in your assessment of your own children. Trust me!

Answer 4

I agree you should have met the child before you married the father i am about to get married and he has a 12 yr old it is very hard i don't have any kids of my own yet but i want to someday. You may get the i hate you your not my mom but you married into it knowing full well there was another child involved.

Answer 5

You just love like your own. What is soo special about your own? That the step kid doesnt have? If you can love your friends and on dogs and cats then you can love your step kid.

Answer 6

very carefuly

just remember to communicate
love of a child does not matter who or how they were brought up
now that you are a reponsible influance just treat it the same way you would anyone elses kid

tell them that ppl don't like that if they are young and if they are older then explain to them that the outside world works differently and we all have responsiblities even when we drive or go out in public we all have to follow rules

Answer 7

I think loving that child will help him/her grow to appreciate "responsibility."

This will obviously take time and patience from your part. But eventually you'll win him/her over.

Answer 8

Love is patient, love does not criticize... You need to open your heart to that child, and love him/her as much as you can. You can teach them your ways, and say it is not acceptable to be like.... (whatever they are doing in your home, or w/you in public.)

Answer 9

It has got to be very hard but it is up to their parents to teach them, so you are stuck with what you married into.

Answer 10

You don't.

You send the rotten little brat to military school.