you do well in science?

Question

Actual misphrased excerpts from student science exam papers
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.

Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.

The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.

The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.

To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.

The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.

A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.

The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.

To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.

Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

Geometry teaches us to bisex angles.

A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.

We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.

English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.

By self-pollination, the farmer may get a flock of long-haired sheep.

If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

Vegetative propagation is the process by which one individual manufactures another individual by accident.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not quite so often in the winter.

The hookworm larvae enters the human body through the soul.

When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.

It is a well-known fact that a deceased body harms the mind.

Humans are more intelligent than beasts because the human branes have more convulsions.

For fainting: rub the person's chest, or if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead.

For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.

For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

For nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body.

For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

For snakebites: bleed the wound and rape the victim in a blanket for shock.

For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

Bar magnets have north and south poles, horseshoe magnets have east and west poles.

When water freezes you can walk on it. That is what Christ did long ago in wintertime.

When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

thanks eletric! illtry tokeep themshort-but when theyre cute i just assume you could read however many you want!

Answer 1

Note to Vish - this is the 'jokes and riddles' section - therefore it doesn't need to be a question!!

Haha - i didnt read all of them but the ones i did were quite funny - i hope none of them were me though!!

lol!

Answer 2

You sound like me when i was 16. ^_^ Jobs for biology: any type of Medical Doctor, but this requires 4 years of undergraduate school, at least six years of post graduate school and then years of internships Clinical Research, which involves working with pharmaceutical companies to develope and test experiment drugs that haven't been approved by the FDA to sell in the market yet. There are all different kinds of stages of clinical research from the initial testing on animals, all the way through to the drug being on the market for people and reevaluating it for further benefits. There is also just any type of scientist, from digging up dinosaur bones as a paleontologist or studying weather patterns as a metiorologist. You have to narrow it down to what type of science you like the best. There are a lot of Ivy League schools that have great biology programs, like Penn U, Princeton and UMDNJ. Find out what colleges your science teachers attended and if they liked the programs. Also, go to college fairs and sign up to receive info in the mail. You'll receive piles and piles of college stuff in the mail, but take a Saturday afternoon and go through all of them. Anything that looks like it would be strong in science, look them up on the internet for more information. To get into a good college, take as many science classes in high school as you can. Most high schools will give students the standard curriculum: 1 math, 1 science, 1 social studies and 1 english/literature. However, when you get to your junior and senior year, you can usually opt out of some classes and take additional science classes instead of something like a foreign language or phyis ed. my 11th grade year I took biology and chemistry and then in 12th grade I took AP biology and physics. You may think, "but i'm not interested in chem or physics." but, in college with a biology major you'll be required to take upper level chem and some physics classes to graduate. Having a strong background in these classes will aid you in getting accepted into college. Also, find out if there are any science fairs you can participate in locally. Even if you don't win, that's still bonus points on your application. And, of course, apply early! Take your SATs junior year and apply before the end of your junior year. Early acceptance is a big plus. Also, apply to at least four schools. hmmm, fun facts, eh? Let's see.... -Look up a guy named Phineas Gage. Interesting story. -your brain is the size of a grapefruit and your heart is the size of your fist. -there are 206 bones in the adult human body, but 300 when we are children. Many of our bones fuse together as we get older -the more bumpy your brain is, the smarter you are. Its all about surface area. -the smallest bone in your body is in your inner ear -the longest cell in your body is your motor neuron that can stretch from your big toe to your lower spinal cord -the most poisonous animal in the world is a frog in south america -the stegosaurus was over 25 feet long, but had a brain smaller than a golfball -the human eye blinks over 4 millions times per year -it takes about 12 hours for food to entirely digest -the longest living cells in the body are neurons, which can last your whole life. However, neuron cells cannot regenerate or replicate, so once they die, there is no going back -there is more computer technology in a Nintendo game system (the ones from the 1980s) than in the Hubble Space Telescope. -the average human brain weighs 3 lbs, but the heaviest ever recorded was over 5lbs -plants "lean" towards a sunny window because the lack of sunlight on the dark side of the plant causes a reaction that makes the cells swell. The plant is not "leaning towards the light" on purpose.

Answer 3

proud ffb......if you write lengthy essays, no one has patience to read. It is better if you keep lengthy essays confined to your school/college. This is only an advice. Don't be offended

Answer 4

funny

Answer 5

sorry a but what is the question????